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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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myrancid

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myrancid
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 70
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, I installed an alarm app on my phone. Turns out, to unlock the phone and get the ringing to stop, I have to answer a maths question. It took me ten minutes to get it right. FML

#19203971 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (2739) - you deserved it (7267)

On 03/02/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by Ashleigh - Australia

Today, I have to follow through with the bet I lost over the Super Bowl game. I don't have a problem running a lap nude around my block, but the cops in the police station right across from my house probably will. FML

#19017961 (236)

I agree, your life sucks (2355) - you deserved it (7602)

On 02/07/2012 at 12:58pm - misc - by MillyMan (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend started to plan our wedding. We've been going out for 3 days. FML

#17794409 (259)

I agree, your life sucks (32710) - you deserved it (3500)

On 09/21/2011 at 8:38am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I realized my tampon goes deeper than my boyfriend. FML

#17786255 (230)

I agree, your life sucks (40518) - you deserved it (4309)

On 09/20/2011 at 3:45am - intimacy - by Cantgetno (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML

#17751753 (235)

I agree, your life sucks (11873) - you deserved it (1640)

On 09/15/2011 at 4:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I met an old friend from high school and his hot girlfriend. I jokingly said she must be blind to go out with him. His response: "Yeah, she is." FML

#17728499 (185)

I agree, your life sucks (14777) - you deserved it (21789)

On 09/12/2011 at 3:25pm - misc - by aru9 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got bored and decided to visit a porn site. I typed in the address and hit enter. A split second later, I realized I wasn't typing into the browser address bar, but in a chat window on my other screen. I'd been chatting with a girl I wanted to get with at the time. FML

#17719852 (253)

I agree, your life sucks (9140) - you deserved it (40314)

On 09/11/2011 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by Extended_desktop (man) - Poland

Today, my husband went downstairs to play Call of Duty. When he came back after only 20 minutes I said, "Awww, did you miss me?" He said, "No, the controller died." FML

Today, I woke up to a text from a girl I had slept with two nights ago. It read, "Please don't get mad if you notice a rash on your private parts. Sorry in advance." FML

#17655668 (199)

I agree, your life sucks (17861) - you deserved it (24823)

On 09/03/2011 at 7:49pm - intimacy - by SterlingSilver91 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt on. Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye. A little boy runs up to me, yells "You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that!", and runs off. FML

#13756412 (203)

I agree, your life sucks (15525) - you deserved it (44454)

On 11/07/2010 at 8:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out I have a daughter. How did I find out? She added me on Facebook. FML

#7591761 (239)

I agree, your life sucks (39012) - you deserved it (11780)

On 01/26/2010 at 4:26pm - kids - by Nick (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14 year old boy. FML

#1617373 (545)

I agree, your life sucks (66844) - you deserved it (180373)

On 05/04/2009 at 2:12am - love - by Iman (man) - United States (California)

Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

#226342 (993)

I agree, your life sucks (293362) - you deserved it (57637)

On 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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