Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

myoukei

Online | Search for a member

myoukei

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7723
  • Number of comments : 151
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 29 posted

About myoukei : I'm a dreamer, writer, and an armature artist. I like rpgs (especially elder scrolls), making videogame-theamed jewelry, and working on my novel.

I use the app, so i will probably be late to reply to comments.

Sorry for any spelling errors in my comments!!!

myoukei's page activity

Visits<b>DrSkillz</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 2:32pm<b>NOTaDISTRACTION</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 5:40am<b>levention</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 4:57am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 12:57am<b>lakota201</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 2:34am<b>Ninjawalker115</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 9:41pm<b>xpheonix57</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 9:10am<b>CandyDawg</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 10:39pm<b>tehaustiebear</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 12:37pm<b>coolsoccer1234</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 10:44am<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 6:47am<b>edvin</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 4:54am<b>mathen</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 1:50am<b>kaykay9611</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 1:37am<b>stargazer091</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 12:24am<b>KazuTrumpet1512</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 11:58pm<b>mattlikesfunions</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 11:30pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 11:01pm

myoukei's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of myoukei's badges

myoukei's favorite FMLs

Today, after much self-doubt and awkwardness, I learned that I look amazing in a little black dress. Now I have to figure out what I'm going to tell my wife. FML

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

#20483320
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45436) - you deserved it (5932) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm - animals - by Kitten_Love - Sent from mobile version

Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

#20482313
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36831) - you deserved it (2409)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm - kids - by andy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML

#20481657
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38982) - you deserved it (7863)

On 01/27/2013 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I was on a ladder at work, fetching some stock from one of the storage shelves. Some teenage kid thought it would be fucking hilarious to grab the ladder and violently shake it. He hadn't bet on me being startled enough to fall off and fracture my elbow on the floor. FML

#20481589
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32665) - you deserved it (2094)

On 01/27/2013 at 4:59pm - health - by fucking teen cunts (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to slowly explain to my son that an "analogy" is a literary device, not a genre of porn. FML

#20481338
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26355) - you deserved it (2956)

On 01/27/2013 at 1:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML

#20479916
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31833) - you deserved it (3555)

On 01/26/2013 at 3:44pm - work - by FUCK THE PIGS (man) - United States (California)

Today, I told my boyfriend about my upcoming mouth surgery. He freaked out. Not because he's worried about me, but because I told him I will not be able to give him head for two weeks. FML

Today, I made a new friend: the cricket the doctor pulled out of my ear canal. FML

#20479072
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30921) - you deserved it (2963)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:53am - animals - by Ear Invasion - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my mom barged into my room at three in the morning, demanding to know where I'd been. I'd been in my room sleeping since ten o'clock. In that time she had called the police, all of my friends, and my ex-boyfriend, asking if I was with them. FML

#20479024
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33459) - you deserved it (2120)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by Sarah - United States

Today, while reading in the bath, I accidentally switched the shower on. Not wanting my book to get soaked, I threw it out of the tub. When I got out of the tub later, I found it had landed squarely in the toilet. FML

#20479000
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27254) - you deserved it (11325)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:03am - misc - by stelssy (woman) - United States

Today, at my 6-year-old son's birthday party, I had to explain to my boyfriend that it's not okay to use condoms as party balloons. FML

#20477498
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28023) - you deserved it (5749)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to buy a birthday present for my boyfriend. While buying him a sweater, the cashier tried to up-sale me by asking if my boyfriend wore briefs or boxers, because both were on sale. Not thinking, I blurted out, "I don't know, they just come off." FML

#20477493
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25644) - you deserved it (12332)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by awkwardturtle (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I met with my Bolivian friend, who's vacationing here for a few weeks. Eager to show him how welcoming we are in the USA, I took him home and introduced him to my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Bolivia? That's in Europe, right? We saved your asses in World War 2." FML

#20477083
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28239) - you deserved it (3511)

On 01/24/2013 at 8:13pm - misc - by oh ffs (man) - United States

Today, feeling lonely after my recent breakup, I put on my nicest clothes and went out clubbing with a few friends. I brought a guy back to my place, and we got intimate. It was going well, until he took off my push-up bra, then panicked and drunkenly asked, "Where'd they go?!" FML

#20477055
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25037) - you deserved it (48089)

On 01/24/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by chase (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: