Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

myoukei

Offline (7 hours ago) | Search for a member

myoukei

4Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13701
  • Number of comments : 162
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 34 posted

About myoukei : I'm a dreamer, writer, and an armature artist. I like rpgs (especially elder scrolls), making videogame-theamed jewelry, and working on my novel.

I use the app, so i will probably be late to reply to comments.

Sorry for any spelling errors in my comments!!!

myoukei's page activity

Visits<b>thatguynamedsky</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 6:16pm<b>Vintage_Cola</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 12:50pm<b>3051628</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 12:45pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 12:28pm<b>OhNoAGhost</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 12:05pm<b>PlainWhiteWalls</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 10:55am<b>Rainbow2Cloud</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 10:49am<b>PITSB</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 10:47am<b>jrmertz00</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 10:40am<b>pgmonster</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 10:35am<b>jaymartino86</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 10:32am<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 12:05am<b>IndicaPaincakes</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 10:07pm<b>wolfstar126</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 10:14am<b>Soninuva</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 10:38pm<b>Sethan01</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 8:57pm<b>FaduFai</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 11:12am<b>MissEris</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 2:07pm

Liked!<b>thatguynamedsky</b> - yesterday at 11:17pm<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 5:05am<b>Sethan01</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 2:57am<b>MissEris</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 8:08pm

myoukei's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of myoukei's badges

myoukei's favorite FMLs

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me from jail, expecting me to bail him out. He'd tried to buy a load of booze at the liquor store and came up short by ten cents. The cashier refused to be short-changed, and he figured the only reasonable reaction was to punch her in the face. FML

#20705783
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44717) - you deserved it (4185)

On 06/04/2013 at 4:31pm - misc - by no booze, no boyfriend (woman) - United States

Today, my cats were making a ton of noise rolling around and fighting over their toys, and I yelled for them to knock it off. When they looked up at me, their "toy" ran away. Not a toy, but a real mouse. It's been 2 hours, and I still can't find it. FML

#20705382
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40007) - you deserved it (10785)

On 06/04/2013 at 12:28pm - animals - by drkate25 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had to walk home in the rain because my mom didn't want to get her new car wet. FML

#20705347
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56897) - you deserved it (3655)

On 06/04/2013 at 12:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after finally seeing a psychologist about the death of my dad and spending the longest hour of my life confessing every thought I've experienced in the 6 years since his passing, my psychologist asked me if I was walking home or if my dad would be picking me up. FML

#20705144
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76971) - you deserved it (3657)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:35am - health - by irishbubble (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after finally seeing a psychologist about the death of my dad and spending the longest hour of my life confessing every thought I've experienced in the 6 years since his passing, my psychologist asked me if I was walking home or if my dad would be picking me up. FML

#20705144
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76971) - you deserved it (3657)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:35am - health - by irishbubble (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I received a death threat from some nutball accusing me of being part of some big government conspiracy called "Haarp." According to this psycho, I'm responsible for causing the recent tornadoes in Oklahoma. I'm just a small-time weatherman. FML

#20703997
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46854) - you deserved it (3383)

On 06/03/2013 at 7:13pm - misc - by fuck wannabe knowitalls (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend woke me at 5am, just to say how great it was that I could still sleep two more hours before leaving for work. FML

#20703976
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45255) - you deserved it (5142) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/03/2013 at 4:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - France (Aquitaine)

Today, my brother looked me dead in the eyes and said his life goal is to find a way to jizz on everyone in the world. I'm scared. FML

#20703677
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55786) - you deserved it (5036)

On 06/03/2013 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Poland (Kujawsko-Pomorskie)

Today, feeling the need to spice things up in our sex life, I dressed up in my husband's navy uniform jacket, hat, and a pair of heels. When he came into the room, he took one look at me and started laughing uncontrollably. FML

#20702628
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55509) - you deserved it (16868)

On 06/03/2013 at 12:41am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I asked my dermatologist why my acne has been getting worse, despite following her directions and spending hundreds of dollars on medicine. She just shrugged and told me they can't actually cure my acne. However, they can prescribe me a bunch of stuff and hope one works. FML

#20700784
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47261) - you deserved it (5051)

On 06/02/2013 at 6:53am - health - by WtfDidIPayYouForThen - United States (Florida)

Today, I accidentally hit someone's car while at the supermarket. I left a note, went shopping, and when I came back my windows were shattered, my tires were slashed and "f you" was written on my windshield. FML

#20700486
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46478) - you deserved it (14435)

On 06/02/2013 at 1:20am - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my parents were artists when they met. My mom said that I was one of their best projects yet. My sister, hearing what my mother said, broke my week-old PS3 in a rage. FML

#20699851
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48851) - you deserved it (3508)

On 06/01/2013 at 7:31pm - misc - by H1dd3n (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

#20698637
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68225) - you deserved it (19325)

On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML

#20698551
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57947) - you deserved it (4864)

On 06/01/2013 at 12:31am - health - by Mayyouneverfindpleasureinavagina (woman) - United States (California)

Today, thanks to an idiotic, "hilariously edgy" advert that screened in the very early evening, my 6-year-old son keeps repeating the phrase "I want a vasectomy" to everyone he sees. I've never received so many dirty looks in my life. FML

#20697858
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38493) - you deserved it (4193)

On 05/31/2013 at 6:25pm - kids - by theybitchaboutgnomesbutnotthis?? (man) - United Kingdom (Devon)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: