Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

myoukei

Search for a member

myoukei
  • Town/Country : New York
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3583
  • Number of comments : 133
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 29 posted

About myoukei : I'm a dreamer, writer, and an armature artist. I like rpgs (especially elder scrolls), making videogame-theamed jewelry, and working on my novel.

I use the app, so i will probably be late to reply to comments.

Sorry for any spelling errors in my comments!!!

myoukei's last visitors

Federgirlj_cat187omfgorlaithLeeBcosmicriverbuckdharmaNarttuiAlissaireply_wlyricsBBlahsterfri99

myoukei's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of myoukei's badges

myoukei's favorite FMLs

Today, my car was found with a smashed window and a torn-apart steering column, in order to hot-wire it. The thief didn't get away with my car, though. The engine was in the garage, where I've been working on it for two days. FML

Today, my daughter asked me the difference between "their" and "they're". This is the same child I've been spending thousands of dollars on to send to law school. FML

#21072333
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39065) - you deserved it (5327)

On 02/26/2014 at 4:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my pregnant wife's parents called me at work, saying she'd been crying inconsolably and wouldn't say what was wrong. After pleading with my boss, I rushed home. Turns out there was an "ugly" sofa in a TV ad and she felt it was "picking on ugly sofas". FML

#21070396
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42472) - you deserved it (3769)

On 02/24/2014 at 2:36pm - misc - by fuckmeitsgettingworse - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, a guy from work that I barely know gave me sunflowers for my birthday. He told me, "You mentioned they were your favorite." I mentioned it to my family at home a few days ago. FML

#21069947
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42618) - you deserved it (3482)

On 02/23/2014 at 11:18pm - love - by You Are My Sunshine (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking a dog at the animal hospital where I work when it pooped out a rag-like object. I told the doctor, who told me to clean it off to see what it was. It was a rainbow-colored thong. We have to give it back to the owner when they pick their dog up. FML

#21069925
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33837) - you deserved it (2445)

On 02/23/2014 at 11:01pm - animals - by crap - United States (Nevada)

Today, I've been forced to start packing to go on a vacation with my parents, because they say I've been studying too hard and need a break. I've hardly studied at all and was planning on making up for it all in the time I had left before finals. I'm screwed. FML

#21069416
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19751) - you deserved it (35462)

On 02/23/2014 at 2:00pm - misc - by goodbye cruel world (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was walking home, when a car heading the other way hit a traffic cone. I must have been an asshole in a previous life, because the universe decided to make sure the cone flew into the side of my head. The bystanders were shocked for all of two seconds before laughing. FML

#21068594
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40090) - you deserved it (3727)

On 02/22/2014 at 4:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was chilling out with my friend in a parking lot, when a police officer came up to the vehicle and suspiciously asked what we were up to. My friend sarcastically said, "Uh, doing drugs? Planning a drive-by? Haha!" We soon found ourselves in the back of a cop car. FML

#21067749
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33901) - you deserved it (15387)

On 02/21/2014 at 4:37pm - misc - by Cuntface McGee (man) - Romania (Cluj)

Today, I was back home from work drinking coffee when I heard someone open the door with a key. It was my boyfriend, who obviously didn't expect to see me home. We don't live together, and I never gave him a key. FML

#21067356
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44996) - you deserved it (3557)

On 02/21/2014 at 4:59am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Russian Federation (Lipetsk)

Today, I walked into my apartment and smelled something extremely repugnant. I asked my roommate what had happened and she said, "I didn't know how else to kill it!" She'd trapped a bat that was in our apartment, put it in the oven, and set it to 400 degrees. FML

#21067130
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47002) - you deserved it (3523)

On 02/20/2014 at 11:10pm - misc - by BakedBat (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, at my therapy appointment, I was spilling my guts to my therapist. When I'd finished, to get rid of the awkward silence, I asked, "I'm not crazy, right?" His response was, "That's bit of a loaded question." FML

#21066990
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33148) - you deserved it (5072)

On 02/20/2014 at 9:46pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was beating the hell out of one of the most useless employees ever. I mean really laying into him, all while telling him for the umpteenth time how to do his job right. Then my husband informed me I was hitting him in my sleep. FML

#21066977
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32494) - you deserved it (6026)

On 02/20/2014 at 9:31pm - work - by management - United States

Today, I was doing a science presentation about glucose. There was around 20 judges at the event who could've judged me, but instead I got judged by the only person in the whole entire world who doesn't know what glucose is and doesn't think it exists. FML

#21066140
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40325) - you deserved it (2630)

On 02/20/2014 at 12:27am - work - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I'm eight months pregnant with my second child. My 18-month-old son loves to watch my belly move when his baby brother moves. And then loves to smack my belly. It's going to be a long eighteen years. FML

Today, a customer at work pronounced the word "Asian" as "Ah-See-Awn" when ordering a salad. I wasn't allowed to say anything. FML

#21065187
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33033) - you deserved it (3416)

On 02/19/2014 at 1:24am - work - by PaneraSucks - United States (New Hampshire)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: