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myoukei

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myoukei
  • Town/Country : New York
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 June 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 669
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About myoukei : I'm a dreamer, writer, and an armature artist. I like rpgs (especially elder scrolls), making videogame-theamed jewelry, and working on my novel.

I use the app, so i can't get messages and will probably be late to reply to comments.

Sorry for any spelling errors in my comments!!!

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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myoukei's favorite FMLs

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML

#20497837
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46045) - you deserved it (7012)

On 02/08/2013 at 2:13am - intimacy - by mydadsgonnakillme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was dragged to a Super Bowl party. While there, the host's kid threw 3 cups of apple sauce at my feet, which then exploded and covered my jeans. 10 minutes later, the host's wife announced that she was pregnant with twins. All I could come up with was, "You're making more!?" FML

#20492510
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26354) - you deserved it (3991)

On 02/04/2013 at 12:15am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, the guy that I've liked for a while but never had the courage to talk to was wearing a TARDIS shirt. I jokingly asked, "Are you the Doctor?" His response was for me to "Go away, f***ing nerd." FML

#20492128
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27769) - you deserved it (3476)

On 02/03/2013 at 9:16pm - love - by guessnot (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on a date with a very cute girl. It went well, until I accidentally called the blueberries in her dessert Oran Berries. I sheepishly explained that they're a berry from the Pokémon universe, at which point she excused herself, never to return. FML

#20490478
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18370) - you deserved it (30294)

On 02/02/2013 at 4:20pm - love - by Brock (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, while trucking, I got stuck in traffic on a congested highway. After 15 minutes of mind-numbing boredom, I glanced down at the car beside me, only to witness the driver changing her tampon and flicking the old one onto the highway. I can't unsee this. FML

#20489402
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48225) - you deserved it (2813)

On 02/01/2013 at 8:01pm - intimacy - by thoughtidseenitall (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was on the treadmill at the gym, when I felt my pants start slipping. I tried to pull them up, but lost my balance and fell face-first onto the floor. When I go to my wedding tomorrow, half the guests will probably think I've exchanged my fiancé for Chris Brown. FML

#20489307
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23042) - you deserved it (2892)

On 02/01/2013 at 6:31pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil

Today, I told my parents that what I'd really like for my 21st birthday is the 1865 edition of the Memoirs of Saint-Simon in 22 volumes that I found online for $200, and have been wanting for months. They laughed and said, "Yeah, right. We'll get you an iPhone and perhaps you'll become normal." FML

#20488681
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27483) - you deserved it (7976)

On 02/01/2013 at 4:19am - misc - by HistoryFreak (woman) - France

Today, as a firefighter, we were called to assist the ambulance crew with lifting a deceased patient out of a house. Little did I know, he had been dead inside for 3 weeks, and was bloated and popped like a water balloon when we attempted to move him. My girlfriend made soup for the evening meal. FML

#20488428
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31546) - you deserved it (1345)

On 01/31/2013 at 11:39pm - work - by Fireguy92 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while checking out a couple at work, I handed them their receipt and wished them a good day. The woman promptly pulled her husband to the side, and whispered to him about how much of a "fucking idiot" I was for making the prices so high. I work at McDonald's. FML

#20488361
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22205) - you deserved it (1689)

On 01/31/2013 at 11:06pm - work - by stupidapperently (woman) - United States

Today, I got into an argument with my wife. We had gotten our son an Xbox and two games for his birthday. Since he was ungratefully bitching about it, I made him return it and donate the money to charity. He told her that I hit him, took his present and pawned it for beer. She doesn't believe me. FML

#20486592
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35651) - you deserved it (3901)

On 01/30/2013 at 6:23pm - kids - by XboxDad (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got into an argument with my wife. We had gotten our son an Xbox and two games for his birthday. Since he was ungratefully bitching about it, I made him return it and donate the money to charity. He told her that I hit him, took his present and pawned it for beer. She doesn't believe me. FML

#20486592
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35651) - you deserved it (3901)

On 01/30/2013 at 6:23pm - kids - by XboxDad (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was trying to sleep away a fever, when my grandma woke me up. She was sitting next to me, shoving gummy bears into my mouth until I started choking. She laughed, ran away, and denied everything. FML

#20486320
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27739) - you deserved it (2018)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:59pm - health - by cay - United States (New York)

Today, I went to my cousin's wedding. The groom walked over when the two of us were talking, took one good look at me, slapped me on the ass, and said, "You know, if I wasn't marrying Rose here, you'd be next." Yeah, about that: I'm a 16-year old guy. FML

#20485957
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30356) - you deserved it (3636)

On 01/30/2013 at 7:21am - love - by Denki (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, I learned it's a bad idea to text and smoke while drunk, because there is an increased risk of throwing your phone off the balcony and sticking your cigarette into your pocket. FML

#20485916
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9364) - you deserved it (38908)

On 01/30/2013 at 5:13am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my 5-year-old nephew had the most amazing idea: to play a game with my keys. He took out all ten keys individually and hid them around the house. So far it's been two hours and I haven't found a single one. FML

#20485810
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25618) - you deserved it (3125)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:03am - kids - by idislikeblanks (man) - United States (California)



Max Grünfeld's illustrated FML

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Monday 17 June 2013

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