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myoukei

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myoukei
  • Town/Country : New York
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 June 1995 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 587
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

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You have thumbed 5000 comments.

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You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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myoukei's favorite FMLs

Today, my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walked into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, covered in ketchup. She laughed when I began to scream. FML

#20460540
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34693) - you deserved it (3777)

On 01/15/2013 at 9:41am - kids - by Nightmare (woman) -

Today, as part of a charity project called Operation Valentine, I worked with 150 other volunteers to make care packages and Valentine's Day cards to send to the troops in Afghanistan, thanking them for their courage. My boyfriend called the cards "cheating" and now refuses to see me. FML

#20460276
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31576) - you deserved it (3170)

On 01/15/2013 at 2:23am - love - by helpme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mother came back from her trip to Vegas. Her breasts were obviously 2 letter sizes larger. I asked if she got a boob job and she denied it, saying that it's against her religion. She's an atheist, and a liar. FML

#20460160
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27103) - you deserved it (2116)

On 01/15/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by Brooke - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend returned home from a several week vacation with family. Instead of a happy reunion, I was terribly emasculated, publicly, for bringing flowers that "weren't as pretty as all the other couples' in baggage claim." FML

#20458802
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26887) - you deserved it (2267)

On 01/14/2013 at 10:47am - misc - by badenoughflowers - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked into the bathroom only to see my boyfriend sitting on the floor eating ice cream, crying. I'd say I was shocked, but this isn't the first time it's happened. FML

#20458512
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26503) - you deserved it (4692)

On 01/14/2013 at 3:24am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Montana)

Today, while making dinner I cut my finger badly with a knife. When I yelled for my dad to drive me to the hospital, he accused me of lying to get attention. He had to taste my blood before he decided it wasn't red-colored corn syrup. FML

#20458321
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29523) - you deserved it (2636)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:52am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to explain to my husband that the 5-second rule doesn't apply if you drop the floss into the toilet. FML

#20458013
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27538) - you deserved it (1961)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:36pm - misc - by PeeFlavouredFloss (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML

#20457945
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23409) - you deserved it (2074)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm - misc - by anon - United States (Ohio)

Today, as per usual, my mother went to see her psychic, who told her that one of her children is harbouring a "dark secret". Now we're all grounded until one of us confesses our obviously non-existent secret. FML

#20457387
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28696) - you deserved it (1537)

On 01/13/2013 at 4:02pm - misc - by daughter of a gullible cunt (woman) - Australia

Today, while reading an erotic story I was more excited that the author used a conjunctive adverb than the sexual content in the story. FML

#20456501
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19981) - you deserved it (7822)

On 01/13/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by frustrated - United States (Florida)

Today, while giving my girlfriend a back-rub, she moaned and commented, "If only you could fuck this well." FML

#20455279
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26615) - you deserved it (6189)

On 01/12/2013 at 12:57pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, while giving my girlfriend a back-rub, she moaned and commented, "If only you could fuck this well." FML

#20455279
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26615) - you deserved it (6189)

On 01/12/2013 at 12:57pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I found out that my dad, thinking it was an advertisement, threw away a letter from the college I applied to. FML

#20454916
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28531) - you deserved it (1607)

On 01/12/2013 at 4:52am - misc - by gdog10122 - United States

Today, I was yet again asked to show my hall pass. I'm 23 and work at a middle school. I've worked here for the last five months, so not only do I look 13 years old, I'm also not memorable enough for my own coworkers to recognize me. FML

#20454196
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30733) - you deserved it (2411)

On 01/11/2013 at 8:11pm - work - by Can'tAgeOrMakeFriends (woman) - United States

Today, one of my paintings was accepted into a local art gallery. It would've been a dream come true, had my "best friend" not submitted it under her own name and taken all the credit. FML

#20453750
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32056) - you deserved it (1915)

On 01/11/2013 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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