Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

myoukei

Offline (yesterday at 8:31pm) | Search for a member

myoukei

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7893
  • Number of comments : 153
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 30 posted

About myoukei : I'm a dreamer, writer, and an armature artist. I like rpgs (especially elder scrolls), making videogame-theamed jewelry, and working on my novel.

I use the app, so i will probably be late to reply to comments.

Sorry for any spelling errors in my comments!!!

myoukei's page activity

Visits<b>Manosapo</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 11:46pm<b>DrSkillz</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 2:32pm<b>NOTaDISTRACTION</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 5:40am<b>levention</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 4:57am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 12:57am<b>lakota201</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 2:34am<b>Ninjawalker115</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 9:41pm<b>xpheonix57</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 9:10am<b>CandyDawg</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 10:39pm<b>tehaustiebear</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 12:37pm<b>coolsoccer1234</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 10:44am<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 6:47am<b>edvin</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 4:54am<b>mathen</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 1:50am<b>kaykay9611</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 1:37am<b>stargazer091</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 12:24am<b>KazuTrumpet1512</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 11:58pm<b>mattlikesfunions</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 11:30pm

myoukei's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of myoukei's badges

myoukei's favorite FMLs

Today, while my hometown mayor becomes a world-famous crackhead and douche-bag, here in the UK it has come to this: when people hear my accent and ask me if I'm American, it's less embarrassing just to say, "Yeah", rather than admit I'm Canadian. FML

#20958357
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37304) - you deserved it (6321)

On 11/15/2013 at 2:05am - misc - by unproud (man) - United Kingdom (Luton)

Today, my boyfriend took me home for the first time. His place was covered in Insane Clown Posse stuff, even the toilet bowl. He's an undercover Juggalo. FML

#20958067
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38025) - you deserved it (4249)

On 11/14/2013 at 10:08pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was accused of stealing when I dropped a $20 bill in front of my boss. His logic: I'm too poor to have a $20 bill and there's no way it was a tip, since our customers are "so stingy". It was a tip and it was going to get me through the rest of the month. He won't give it back. FML

#20957216
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48892) - you deserved it (2668)

On 11/14/2013 at 2:18am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I tried to put the little girl I babysit in timeout for lying to me. I was about to sit her down when she made a mad dash for the basement stairs, slipped on the wood floor, and fell down them. She told her parents and everyone at the ER that I had thrown her down the stairs. FML

#20956092
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54211) - you deserved it (3201)

On 11/13/2013 at 6:08am - kids - by little_star78 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I asked a co-worker why he was wearing sandals, as they are not allowed under our strict dress code. He got extremely angry with me and stormed off. Ten minutes later, I got called into our boss' office. Apparently, he told her that I walked up to him and asked to suck his toes. FML

#20956059
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40373) - you deserved it (3554)

On 11/13/2013 at 4:00am - work - by feetfreak (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized how amazing I've become at faking orgasms: I made up everything from the noises of my juices to pure, blissful climax over the phone to my husband. He came; I finished putting laundry away. FML

#20955991
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45965) - you deserved it (12094)

On 11/13/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by CanWeAllGetOne - United States (Texas)

Today, working as a cashier, I had a customer come through and ask to purchase a bag of ice. I asked, "Eight pound or twenty pound?", referring to the clearly marked weight of the bags. He replied, "What's the difference?" FML

#20955463
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34391) - you deserved it (2857)

On 11/12/2013 at 6:56pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, while taking an order over the phone for the customer at work, I began to hear slight moans. The moans gradually became faster and louder, until climax was achieved and I realized I was being used for phone sex. FML

#20955245
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42494) - you deserved it (3420)

On 11/12/2013 at 3:29pm - work - by long day - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend's ex moved into the apartment beneath us. She's already called the cops on us for a noise complaint twice. We were sleeping. It's going to be a long year. FML

#20955154
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42371) - you deserved it (2417)

On 11/12/2013 at 2:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my sister introduced our parents to her new boyfriend. He's my boyfriend, and he told me he was going to be out of state for a few weeks on business. FML

Today, the day before I'm supposed to leave for a long-anticipated trip to Europe, my mother admitted that she's never paid for it. She only told me she did so I would stop hinting that I wanted to go. I gave up Christmas for this trip. FML

Today, I found out that shirt sizes don't get longer, they get wider. Being 6ft4, every shirt I try on makes me look like a cheap stripper. FML

#20954733
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39708) - you deserved it (2865)

On 11/12/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by Pongy (man) -

Today, I was mentioning to a coworker how there was a huge lull today in business. A young coworker then turns to me and says in a snooty tone, "I think you mean a 'lol', it's pronounced L-O-L." FML

#20953649
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42585) - you deserved it (2809)

On 11/11/2013 at 5:36am - work - by shut up. - New Zealand

Today, my husband and I went for our 20 week scan and found out we're having a girl. The first thing he said to me was, "The next one better be a boy or I'm leaving you". FML

#20952357
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49672) - you deserved it (4424)

On 11/10/2013 at 5:28am - kids - by Naomi - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I got a call from my husband asking me to bail him out from jail. He was arrested after being caught having sex with a waitress in a restaurant bathroom. FML

#20951750
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62548) - you deserved it (4590)

On 11/09/2013 at 6:30pm - intimacy - by f (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: