Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

myoukei

Offline (4 hours ago) | Search for a member

myoukei

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 14535
  • Number of comments : 167
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 35 posted

About myoukei : I'm a dreamer, writer, and an armature artist. I like rpgs (especially elder scrolls), making videogame-theamed jewelry, and working on my novel.

I use the app, so i will probably be late to reply to comments.

Sorry for any spelling errors in my comments!!!

myoukei's page activity

Visits<b>thefmlman2011</b> - 10 hours ago<b>toshaleigh</b> - yesterday at 8:07pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 10:25pm<b>DrSkillz</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 4:50pm<b>jinxy333</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 1:38pm<b>Kazze</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 4:21am<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 1:30am<b>shea627</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 3:18pm<b>therosalina</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 9:26am<b>saralou626</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 6:32pm<b>Ghilliebro</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 4:32pm<b>clickme</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 2:13pm<b>MisSum182</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 2:02pm<b>NOTaDISTRACTION</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 10:59am<b>Scryll</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 10:52am<b>silentlyhannah</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 9:46am<b>tiger1</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 7:12am<b>alissa412</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 12:11am

Fucked!<b>therosalina</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 3:26pm<b>thatguynamedsky</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 11:17pm<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 5:05am<b>Sethan01</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 2:57am<b>MissEris</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 8:08pm

myoukei's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of myoukei's badges

myoukei's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that the generous gift from my boyfriend of a new iPhone was only given so he could use the "find my phone" function to make sure I'm always where I say I am each day. I'm being stalked by my own boyfriend. FML

#21028727
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51314) - you deserved it (8458)

On 01/15/2014 at 1:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Italy (Toscana)

Today, I had to skip class to attend a truancy court hearing. FML

#21027645
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33743) - you deserved it (16756)

On 01/14/2014 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my wife and I were watching a football game. While someone was about to score, she started screaming, "Go!" and "Come on! You can do it! Go baby, go!" My first thought was that I wished I could still make her scream like that. FML

#21026614
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53532) - you deserved it (11389)

On 01/13/2014 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out that whenever my ex-wife is late getting the kids to school, she tells them to tell their teachers they were with me, and forges my name on the sign-in sheet. Missing homework? Dad's house. Forgot to bring something important? Ditto. The school thinks I'm a horrible parent. FML

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

#21025946
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53723) - you deserved it (32549)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

#21025234
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56799) - you deserved it (5796)

On 01/12/2014 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend told me that she is pregnant. I asked how it could be possible, since she's on birth control. She said she didn't know her antibiotics would interfere with it. She's a pharmacist. FML

#21024822
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59937) - you deserved it (8158)

On 01/11/2014 at 7:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, we were playing charades at school. My word was "head", so I pointed to my face. Nobody on my team got it. But they did guess, "Ugly?!" FML

#21024059
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42912) - you deserved it (4588)

On 01/10/2014 at 11:02pm - misc - by kyyle - United States (Illinois)

Today, I joked with a pregnant girl in a state juvenile correctional facility where I work that eating a lot of candy would damage the unborn baby's teeth. Without batting an eye, she responded that she would simply "eat some toothpaste after the candy." FML

Today, I was at a basketball game. Sitting in the bleachers, I looked over at my friend and said, "Number 33 has a really cute butt." The man in front of us turned around, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "Thanks." Number 33's dad was a very proud father. FML

#21017330
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46850) - you deserved it (12694)

On 01/05/2014 at 12:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML

#21016853
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58057) - you deserved it (7843)

On 01/04/2014 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by fuckmuppeter512 (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I've had my tenth "Christmas" dinner since Christmas last took place. My mum has gone nuts and keeps playing Christmas music, making these dinners, and refusing to let me take down the Christmas decorations. My dad is too whipped to save us from this hell. FML

#21016807
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45317) - you deserved it (4358)

On 01/04/2014 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland

Today, I did a bike ride and run with a gent I'm serious about. On the run, I had a big lead until he passed me up saying, "I'm going to marry you." Puzzled that he would propose and then sprint away leaving me trailing, he clarified at the finish. His words: "I'm going to bury you." FML

#21014028
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38640) - you deserved it (4948)

On 01/02/2014 at 8:17am - love - by Babs - United States (California)

Today, I was T-boned at an intersection. My wife got pissed when I didn't immediately check on her, but rather the other driver. That other driver was my daughter. FML

#21012945
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55412) - you deserved it (4936)

On 01/01/2014 at 1:21pm - love - by Crashed - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend found an old nude of me on his best friend's PS3. I had no idea this guy existed until we moved in with him. FML



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: