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YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, I went to my cousin's wedding. The groom walked over when the two of us were talking, took one good look at me, slapped me on the ass, and said, "You know, if I wasn't marrying Rose here, you'd be next." Yeah, about that: I'm a 16-year old guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28682) - you deserved it (2883)
On 01/30/2013 at 7:21am - love - by Denki (man) - China (Beijing)
Today, I learned it's a bad idea to text and smoke while drunk, because there is an increased risk of throwing your phone off the balcony and sticking your cigarette into your pocket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9348) - you deserved it (38820)
On 01/30/2013 at 5:13am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, my 5-year-old nephew had the most amazing idea: to play a game with my keys. He took out all ten keys individually and hid them around the house. So far it's been two hours and I haven't found a single one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25500) - you deserved it (3121)
On 01/30/2013 at 2:03am - kids - by idislikeblanks (man) - United States (California)
Today, my mother "checked in" to rehab on Facebook. The same rehab that told her to hand over her smartphone. The dumbass was smart enough to steal my phone and dumb enough to get it confiscated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20638) - you deserved it (1680)
On 01/29/2013 at 10:18pm - health - by motherless - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I blew a huge gum bubble. My cat was on my lap and decided to shove her face in the bubble. There's gum all over her, and I still have scars from the last time I tried bathe her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18761) - you deserved it (6856)
On 01/29/2013 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)
Today, I saw a lady who had fainted. I ran over to help, only to find out that she was unstable and had a knife in her hand. She was pointing it at me, and growled threateningly every time I tried to move away. It took the cops an hour to defuse the situation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28605) - you deserved it (2052)
On 01/29/2013 at 4:48am - misc - by thegirlofthedad (woman) - India (Maharashtra)
Today, after much self-doubt and awkwardness, I learned that I look amazing in a little black dress. Now I have to figure out what I'm going to tell my wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30772) - you deserved it (14316)
On 01/29/2013 at 12:28am - intimacy - by ohfuckwaffles (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37406) - you deserved it (4146) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm - animals - by Kitten_Love - Sent from mobile version
Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (29812) - you deserved it (1427)
On 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm - kids - by andy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29335) - you deserved it (4984)
On 01/27/2013 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I was on a ladder at work, fetching some stock from one of the storage shelves. Some teenage kid thought it would be fucking hilarious to grab the ladder and violently shake it. He hadn't bet on me being startled enough to fall off and fracture my elbow on the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27841) - you deserved it (1766)
On 01/27/2013 at 4:59pm - health - by fucking teen cunts (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I had to slowly explain to my son that an "analogy" is a literary device, not a genre of porn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20113) - you deserved it (1832)
On 01/27/2013 at 1:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I told my boyfriend about my upcoming mouth surgery. He freaked out. Not because he's worried about me, but because I told him I will not be able to give him head for two weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29912) - you deserved it (4758)
On 01/26/2013 at 2:18am - intimacy - by Lauren324 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I made a new friend: the cricket the doctor pulled out of my ear canal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24178) - you deserved it (1860)
On 01/26/2013 at 12:53am - animals - by Ear Invasion - United States (New Mexico)
Today, my mom barged into my room at three in the morning, demanding to know where I'd been. I'd been in my room sleeping since ten o'clock. In that time she had called the police, all of my friends, and my ex-boyfriend, asking if I was with them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27693) - you deserved it (1409)
On 01/26/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by Sarah - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
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