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myoukei

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myoukei
  • Town/Country : New York
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 June 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 671
  • Number of comments : 62
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About myoukei : I'm a dreamer, writer, and an armature artist. I like rpgs (especially elder scrolls), making videogame-theamed jewelry, and working on my novel.

I use the app, so i can't get messages and will probably be late to reply to comments.

Sorry for any spelling errors in my comments!!!

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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myoukei's favorite FMLs

Today, the kids I babysit hid from me. While I was looking for them, I stepped on multiple strategically-placed Lego bricks. When I yelped from the pain, the kids jumped out and threw soccer balls in my face. FML

#20556944
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31615) - you deserved it (3348)

On 03/23/2013 at 7:47pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, after I had changed my number to get away from my abusive ex, my mom decided to give him my new one. She insists that I need to give him another chance. FML

#20556707
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44262) - you deserved it (2112)

On 03/23/2013 at 4:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my husband showed up late to my mother's funeral. He swaggered in, happily finishing off a half-eaten taco. His excuse for why he was so cheerful: "She was an in-law, honey." Good to know I married a piece of shit in disguise. FML

#20556485
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33559) - you deserved it (4309)

On 03/23/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML

#20556322
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41348) - you deserved it (5143)

On 03/23/2013 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML

#20556205
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37696) - you deserved it (2813)

On 03/23/2013 at 9:25am - kids - by kindergarten teacher - United States (California)

Today, a small fly flew straight up into my nose. I spent 10 minutes trying to blow/scratch/pick it out to no avail. I can still feel it moving. FML

#20556028
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33021) - you deserved it (2022)

On 03/23/2013 at 4:17am - misc - by WTFLY (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, while making love to my boyfriend for the first time, I moaned his name. He freaked out over how I wasn't over my ex, and angrily left. They have the same name. FML

#20555878
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45003) - you deserved it (5183)

On 03/23/2013 at 12:43am - intimacy - by nraecher (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my psycho abstinence-only sex ed teacher claimed condoms give 50% protection at most against pregnancy. I couldn't help but correct her. She apologized for her "mistake", saying, "It's just that we're not ALL sluts, Kara." Now everyone thinks I'm a raging whore. FML

#20555528
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34834) - you deserved it (5212)

On 03/22/2013 at 8:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I walked into an exam after having stayed up 20 straight hours studying. The professor looked at me and muttered, "Don't bother, I'm failing you either way." FML

#20552400
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35861) - you deserved it (3488)

On 03/20/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Tired (man) - United States

Today, I was talking to my boss and he said I was awesome. He went to fist bump me and I missed. FML

#20552081
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23843) - you deserved it (7376)

On 03/20/2013 at 10:31am - work - by missedfistbump - United States

Today, for the sixth time in a row, I was driving my kid to school and he made me late for work. Why? He was whacking off instead of getting ready. FML

#20551973
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34508) - you deserved it (3702)

On 03/20/2013 at 7:07am - intimacy - by Why son, why? (man) - United States

Today, as always, I'm dating one of the few girls who, without fail, always finishes first when we get intimate. She's also one of those girlfriends who doesn't want to continue once she's done. FML

#20542189
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35910) - you deserved it (4909)

On 03/13/2013 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by WhyDoINeedAName - Canada (Alberta)

Today, our dog jumped on the bed while my fiancé and I were having sex, and let out the most horrific fart. My fiancé, like a gentleman, held my nose closed while he continued banging me. FML

Today, I was taking a patient's blood pressure, and listening for his pulse with my stethoscope. I couldn't hear anything, so I adjusted the cuff and tried again. Still no pulse. He pointed out that my stethoscope was the wrong way around and sneered, "You been smokin' the reefer, boy?" FML

#20535043
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10548) - you deserved it (22914)

On 03/07/2013 at 7:35pm - work - by no sir I have not (man) - United States

Today, my boss yelled at me for visiting Facebook on my work computer. He says that since I can't be trusted, I'll be supervised from now on. I was uploading pictures to the company's Facebook page, which I have to do once a week as part of my job. FML

#20534670
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30973) - you deserved it (1465)

On 03/07/2013 at 1:12pm - work - by arknvl (man) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)



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Monday 17 June 2013

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