About myoukei : I'm a dreamer, writer, and an armature artist. I like rpgs (especially elder scrolls), making videogame-theamed jewelry, and working on my novel.
I use the app, so i can't get messages and will probably be late to reply to comments.
Sorry for any spelling errors in my comments!!!
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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
The Thumb returns
You have thumbed 5000 comments.
Today, I found out that what my husband meant by "we should try swinging" is "I really want to have sex with this one friend of yours, and if you so much as make eye contact with any guy I'm going to totally flip out and threaten to kill him and you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38944) - you deserved it (3925)
On 03/26/2013 at 8:07am - intimacy - by SwinginSolo (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend, who moved in about a month ago, decided he wanted to move back out. Why? Because I don't keep my place clean enough for him. This, coming from the same man who refuses to wash or clean anything because "that's what women are for." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30450) - you deserved it (8415)
On 03/26/2013 at 12:15am - love - by ShouldBeSingleSoon (woman) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, whilst texting my boyfriend on the train, I noticed the woman sitting next to me staring intently at my phone. After letting my boyfriend know, he sent a message saying, "Are we gonna involve the dog again? Last night was fun." She gasped and screamed that I'm a "twisted dog-humping bitch." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32051) - you deserved it (4591)
On 03/25/2013 at 8:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, during a sex ed lesson, we were given a lecture on pregnancy and abortion from the school nurse. Throughout the session she kept repeating, "Of course, Sophie knows ALL about this." The nurse happens to know that my dad's a gynaecologist. That's not what everyone else in the year thinks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35691) - you deserved it (1620)
On 03/25/2013 at 5:53pm - misc - by Soph (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, at a romantic dinner my boyfriend was treating me to, the waiter brought a "Will you marry me?" cake out with candles and sparklers. I probably should have checked that they'd brought it to the right table before dramatically screaming "Yes!" and jumping into my boyfriend's arms. They hadn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32224) - you deserved it (4545)
On 03/25/2013 at 5:45pm - love - by franky (woman) - Germany (Niedersachsen)
Today, my friend asked to borrow my new laptop to email his college professor. When he returned it, it had a virus on it, and I had to fish out two pubic hairs that were sticking out between the keys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32353) - you deserved it (5133)
On 03/25/2013 at 2:25pm - misc - by grossed out - United Kingdom (Peterborough)
Today, I was at my job, waiting tables. A fellow server and myself were given a party of 14 Bible thumpers. They left us $9.00 and a mini Bible after awesome service, telling us we did a great job. Unfortunately, Religion doesn't pay my car payment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27421) - you deserved it (4320)
On 03/25/2013 at 4:48am - money - by PrayingForMoney - United States (California)
Today, my cat learned how to open doors. Ever since then she's been running up to my room, opening my door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27296) - you deserved it (3079)
On 03/25/2013 at 3:18am - animals - by Apes (woman) - United States (California)
Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26061) - you deserved it (5128)
On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)
Today, a few months after my co-worker had stopped wearing her engagement ring, I decided to put on the moves and start flirting with her. I soon found out that her fiancé had died, and that she's nowhere near over him, despite her brave face. I feel like a total asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37565) - you deserved it (19423)
On 03/24/2013 at 5:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I gave my son a fork, so I could try teaching him how to eat with one. So far, he's been doing all the teaching. He's taught me that if I get anywhere near him when he has a fork, I'll get shanked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27080) - you deserved it (4052)
On 03/24/2013 at 11:56am - kids - by Gixie (woman) - Ghana (Greater Accra)
Today, I spent three hours painstakingly installing and configuring some parental control software on my 11-year-old son's laptop after I caught him watching porn. Barely an hour after returning the laptop, I caught him watching yet more porn on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25421) - you deserved it (9422)
On 03/24/2013 at 6:30am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I finally came out to my family as a lesbian. My grandma then told me I'm just going through a phase because I finally realized I'm not pretty or skinny enough to get a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33552) - you deserved it (5751)
Today, I bought an expensive razor that's supposed to be great. My roommate asked if she could borrow it, and as her legs just looked like they needed touching up, I said sure. After a strangely long amount of time, she came back, thanked me and left. Her legs were still hairy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30777) - you deserved it (1693)
On 03/24/2013 at 1:30am - misc - by bleach (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I was complaining to my husband about a busty but vapid celebrity, and he replied, "She doesn't need brains, honey, she has boobs. You wouldn't understand." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26504) - you deserved it (4351)
On 03/24/2013 at 1:14am - love - by Beestings (woman) - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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