This member hasn't filled in the description.
The Thumb returns
You have thumbed 5000 comments.
The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, my mom called me a "heartless bitch" for eating the last Hot Pocket. This is coming from a woman who, just last week, faked having cancer to get out of a speeding ticket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27648) - you deserved it (257)
On 02/17/2013 at 7:24pm - misc - by DontGetSlapped - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27647) - you deserved it (3810)
On 02/17/2013 at 7:11pm - love - by daniel55 (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, while at church, I received a text from my girlfriend, saying, "It's not working. We're over." Not only was my phone not on silent mode, I was sitting directly beside my now ex-girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26336) - you deserved it (2576)
On 02/17/2013 at 5:44pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Hungary (Szeged)
Today, I went shopping with my two-year-old nephew. He threw a tantrum in the middle of the store because I would not show him my "boobies". A man came up to us and said I should do what my nephew wanted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28251) - you deserved it (3115)
On 02/17/2013 at 3:02am - kids - by Lesser (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22588) - you deserved it (4245)
On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, whilst on a phone interview with a college I really want to go to, my mother picks up the other line and shouts into the phone "She's not going to college, she's lazy and she'll only disappoint you." The interviewer hung up before I could say anything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33387) - you deserved it (2199)
On 02/15/2013 at 10:50am - misc - by parentalissues (woman) - United States
Today, I walked past a few of my coworkers sitting outside smoking. As I got a whiff of the smoke, I coughed. They immediately started to defend their habit, and I was told to "mind my own fucking business." I wasn't trying to be rude; I'm actually allergic to cigarette smoke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27502) - you deserved it (3131)
On 02/15/2013 at 12:53am - health - by youmindyourownbusiness - United States (Illinois)
Today, I had to explain to my white girlfriend that dating me doesn't give her the right to call my mother the n-word. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31827) - you deserved it (6274)
On 02/14/2013 at 11:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I had to yet again explain to the guy I live with that just because you can't see dirt, it doesn't mean it's clean. And so letting his dog lick the plates is NOT the same thing as washing up. He won't listen to me, and he uses my plates. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23216) - you deserved it (2536)
On 02/14/2013 at 8:08pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I got my very first yeast infection. Thinking she would help me, I went to my mom. Instead she began yelling about how I'm lying and it's an STD and I don't believe in the power of Jesus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25559) - you deserved it (1663)
On 02/12/2013 at 6:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my girlfriend and I both developed food poisoning from last night's sushi. Our apartment has one bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22672) - you deserved it (2499)
On 02/12/2013 at 1:43pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, after spending six months completely repainting and redecorating our new home, I finally finished the last touches and went to remove the masking tape. Off came the tape, along with huge blotches of plasterwork. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19800) - you deserved it (5012)
On 02/12/2013 at 1:04pm - misc - by bblubblerfisch (woman) - Austria (Wien)
Today, after spending six months completely repainting and redecorating our new home, I finally finished the last touches and went to remove the masking tape. Off came the tape, along with huge blotches of plasterwork. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19800) - you deserved it (5012)
On 02/12/2013 at 1:04pm - misc - by bblubblerfisch (woman) - Austria (Wien)
Today, after spending six months completely repainting and redecorating our new home, I finally finished the last touches and went to remove the masking tape. Off came the tape, along with huge blotches of plasterwork. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19800) - you deserved it (5012)
On 02/12/2013 at 1:04pm - misc - by bblubblerfisch (woman) - Austria (Wien)
Today, my maid of honor, who offered to take care of my wedding dress before the D-Day, left it near her open window during heavy rain. My dress is now ruined, and she's backed out due to stress. I'm supposed to be getting married tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27653) - you deserved it (2807)
On 02/12/2013 at 12:41pm - misc - by Meaghan (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
