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YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39654) - you deserved it (4884)
On 03/23/2013 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)
Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36276) - you deserved it (2252)
On 03/23/2013 at 9:25am - kids - by kindergarten teacher - United States (California)
Today, a small fly flew straight up into my nose. I spent 10 minutes trying to blow/scratch/pick it out to no avail. I can still feel it moving. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32951) - you deserved it (2022)
On 03/23/2013 at 4:17am - misc - by WTFLY (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, while making love to my boyfriend for the first time, I moaned his name. He freaked out over how I wasn't over my ex, and angrily left. They have the same name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43534) - you deserved it (5149)
On 03/23/2013 at 12:43am - intimacy - by nraecher (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my psycho abstinence-only sex ed teacher claimed condoms give 50% protection at most against pregnancy. I couldn't help but correct her. She apologized for her "mistake", saying, "It's just that we're not ALL sluts, Kara." Now everyone thinks I'm a raging whore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34708) - you deserved it (5203)
On 03/22/2013 at 8:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I walked into an exam after having stayed up 20 straight hours studying. The professor looked at me and muttered, "Don't bother, I'm failing you either way." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35791) - you deserved it (3480)
On 03/20/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Tired (man) - United States
Today, I was talking to my boss and he said I was awesome. He went to fist bump me and I missed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22870) - you deserved it (5863)
On 03/20/2013 at 10:31am - work - by missedfistbump - United States
Today, for the sixth time in a row, I was driving my kid to school and he made me late for work. Why? He was whacking off instead of getting ready. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33547) - you deserved it (3678)
On 03/20/2013 at 7:07am - intimacy - by Why son, why? (man) - United States
Today, as always, I'm dating one of the few girls who, without fail, always finishes first when we get intimate. She's also one of those girlfriends who doesn't want to continue once she's done. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35087) - you deserved it (4897)
On 03/13/2013 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by WhyDoINeedAName - Canada (Alberta)
Today, our dog jumped on the bed while my fiancé and I were having sex, and let out the most horrific fart. My fiancé, like a gentleman, held my nose closed while he continued banging me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36315) - you deserved it (7344)
On 03/10/2013 at 9:40am - intimacy - by cremyfrozentreat - United States (Florida)
Today, I was taking a patient's blood pressure, and listening for his pulse with my stethoscope. I couldn't hear anything, so I adjusted the cuff and tried again. Still no pulse. He pointed out that my stethoscope was the wrong way around and sneered, "You been smokin' the reefer, boy?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (10519) - you deserved it (22840)
On 03/07/2013 at 7:35pm - work - by no sir I have not (man) - United States
Today, my boss yelled at me for visiting Facebook on my work computer. He says that since I can't be trusted, I'll be supervised from now on. I was uploading pictures to the company's Facebook page, which I have to do once a week as part of my job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30896) - you deserved it (1462)
On 03/07/2013 at 1:12pm - work - by arknvl (man) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)
Today, my psychopathic ex-girlfriend spray-painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van, knowing damn well I have to park it in front of an elementary school on a daily basis to pick up my daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34696) - you deserved it (3339)
On 03/05/2013 at 7:07pm - kids - by cjw - United States
Today, I parked next to a police officer's car in a bad part of town. When I got out, I saw a bag of pot on the ground between the cop's car and mine. When I pointed it out to him, he insisted it was mine and interrogated me to the point of tears. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30637) - you deserved it (3892)
On 03/05/2013 at 12:08am - misc - by goodgrief (woman) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, I took a week off work because my father passed away. I was at the funeral home making arrangements when I overheard the owners complaining about how their insurance agent had left them to fend for themselves. I'm their insurance agent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22820) - you deserved it (2040)
On 03/04/2013 at 10:38pm - work - by KathleenSchuler - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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