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mynameis1339

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mynameis1339

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 22 July 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 408
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About mynameis1339 : FML is a good way to kill some time

mynameis1339's page activity

Visits<b>dyingforpussy</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 10:50am<b>pimp_named_mitch</b> - the 08/05/2013 at 2:46am<b>MemeVillage</b> - the 12/21/2012 at 6:16am<b>Mrman10</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 3:06pm<b>eata</b> - the 08/18/2011 at 9:38pm

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mynameis1339's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my favorite all you can eat buffet. The cook tapped my shoulder and told me to stop eating. FML

#17410703
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26077) - you deserved it (14191)

On 08/08/2011 at 7:58pm - health - by Kathryn - United States (New York)

Today, in one fell swoop, my testicles and spirits were simultaneously crushed into submission by the girl I like. FML

#17389169
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25595) - you deserved it (4261)

On 08/06/2011 at 5:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend admitted that on his last visit, he snuck into the laundry and stole a lacy black thong he assumed was mine. It wasn't. It was my dad's. FML

#17380404
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34716) - you deserved it (3349)

On 08/05/2011 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I had to pay a $150 late fee because my landlord didn't receive the rent check. My boyfriend had addressed the envelope to himself and put the landlord's as the return address. FML

#17379762
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23181) - you deserved it (3520)

On 08/05/2011 at 5:41pm - money - by sunflower226 - United States

Today, my roommate demanded that I dance naked for him as a birthday present. When I declined, he offered to pay me. When I declined again, he stormed off to pout in his room and played really loud depressing music. We're both guys and I have 11 months left on my lease with him. FML

#17373472
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40196) - you deserved it (3237)

On 08/05/2011 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Creeped_out_n_stuck (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

#17338982
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42930) - you deserved it (14364)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)

Today, my 17 pound cat fell from a counter. It wouldn't have been a big deal if he didn't try to use my leg as a tree to cling onto on the way down. FML

#17312573
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26828) - you deserved it (4384)

On 07/30/2011 at 7:58pm - animals - by Backinzi - United States (Iowa)

Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML

#17206347
354 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40972) - you deserved it (10093)

On 07/21/2011 at 5:24pm - love - by toni405 - United States

Today, we found out why we were getting notes on our door telling us to "move out or else." As my mom works for the government and we have a direct-TV dish on our roof, our neighbor thinks we were sent to listen to his phone calls and read his mind. We were here before he was. FML

#17154480
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28417) - you deserved it (2293)

On 07/17/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by SonOfaSpy (man) - United States

Today, I discovered my new plug-in air freshener smells exactly like my ex-boyfriend's cologne. My friends noticed this, and nobody will believe me when I say it smelled different on the scratch-and-sniff. Now I'm considered a creep. A nostalgic, obsessed creep. FML

#17126072
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26451) - you deserved it (5503)

On 07/15/2011 at 7:10pm - love - by Creep (woman) - United States (Puerto Rico)

Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML

#17113139
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14473) - you deserved it (63412)

On 07/14/2011 at 9:51pm - kids - by anon (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my tonsils swelled to roughly the size of golf balls. My mom refuses to take me to the hospital because she's convinced I got it from kissing someone, and until I "fess up", she's not budging. FML

#17109448
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35082) - you deserved it (2721)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:21pm - health - by Eden - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my tonsils swelled to roughly the size of golf balls. My mom refuses to take me to the hospital because she's convinced I got it from kissing someone, and until I "fess up", she's not budging. FML

#17109448
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35082) - you deserved it (2721)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:21pm - health - by Eden - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my neighbour's boiler broke and flooded his home. To solve the problem, the water company shut off the neighbourhood's water supply while they fixed his boiler. I am now unable to shower, and I smell like a zoo animal. FML

#17107286
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23409) - you deserved it (3633)

On 07/14/2011 at 12:24pm - misc - by failure (woman) - Russian Federation (Saint Petersburg City)

Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML

#17080549
528 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20260) - you deserved it (52248)

On 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by 44haley44 - United States



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