mynameis1339

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mynameis1339

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 22 July 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 697
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About mynameis1339 : FML is a good way to kill some time

mynameis1339's page activity

Visits<b>bseo</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 1:32pm<b>dyingforpussy</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 10:50am<b>pimp_named_mitch</b> - the 08/05/2013 at 2:46am<b>MemeVillage</b> - the 12/21/2012 at 6:16am<b>Mrman10</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 3:06pm<b>eata</b> - the 08/18/2011 at 9:38pm

mynameis1339's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

mynameis1339's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my favorite all you can eat buffet. The cook tapped my shoulder and told me to stop eating. FML

by Kathryn / 08/08/2011 at 7:58pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, in one fell swoop, my testicles and spirits were simultaneously crushed into submission by the girl I like. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2011 at 5:34pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend admitted that on his last visit, he snuck into the laundry and stole a lacy black thong he assumed was mine. It wasn't. It was my dad's. FML

by Anonymous / 08/05/2011 at 6:57pm / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Intimacy

Today, I had to pay a $150 late fee because my landlord didn't receive the rent check. My boyfriend had addressed the envelope to himself and put the landlord's as the return address. FML

by sunflower226 / 08/05/2011 at 5:41pm / United States / Money

Today, my roommate demanded that I dance naked for him as a birthday present. When I declined, he offered to pay me. When I declined again, he stormed off to pout in his room and played really loud depressing music. We're both guys and I have 11 months left on my lease with him. FML

by Creeped_out_n_stuck / 08/05/2011 at 12:46am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

by ohcrap / 08/02/2011 at 12:58am / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, my 17 pound cat fell from a counter. It wouldn't have been a big deal if he didn't try to use my leg as a tree to cling onto on the way down. FML

by Backinzi / 07/30/2011 at 7:58pm / United States (Iowa) / Animals

Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML

by toni405 / 07/21/2011 at 5:24pm / United States / Love

Today, we found out why we were getting notes on our door telling us to "move out or else." As my mom works for the government and we have a direct-TV dish on our roof, our neighbor thinks we were sent to listen to his phone calls and read his mind. We were here before he was. FML

by SonOfaSpy / 07/17/2011 at 9:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered my new plug-in air freshener smells exactly like my ex-boyfriend's cologne. My friends noticed this, and nobody will believe me when I say it smelled different on the scratch-and-sniff. Now I'm considered a creep. A nostalgic, obsessed creep. FML

by Creep / 07/15/2011 at 7:10pm / United States (Puerto Rico) / Love

Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML

by anon / 07/14/2011 at 9:51pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, my tonsils swelled to roughly the size of golf balls. My mom refuses to take me to the hospital because she's convinced I got it from kissing someone, and until I "fess up", she's not budging. FML

by Eden / 07/14/2011 at 4:21pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health

Today, my tonsils swelled to roughly the size of golf balls. My mom refuses to take me to the hospital because she's convinced I got it from kissing someone, and until I "fess up", she's not budging. FML

by Eden / 07/14/2011 at 4:21pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health

Today, my neighbour's boiler broke and flooded his home. To solve the problem, the water company shut off the neighbourhood's water supply while they fixed his boiler. I am now unable to shower, and I smell like a zoo animal. FML

by failure / 07/14/2011 at 12:24pm / Russian Federation (Saint Petersburg City) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML

by 44haley44 / 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm / United States / Intimacy