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mylifesucks_fml

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  • Title : Miss
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  • Number of visits : 727
  • Number of comments : 79
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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mylifesucks_fml's favorite FMLs

Today... after meeting my girlfriend's family and trying my hardest to impres them... she told me that they came up with a nickname for me. My new name is "Matt the Doormat." FML

#20087864
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18082) - you deserved it (2780)

On 09/25/2012 at 8:13am - misc - by oreoblizzard619 (man) - United States

Today..!! mah boyfriend an I broke up after three yeres!! I cummed home an when mah dad asked wat was wrong..!! I told him!! His frst reaction was..!! "Well damn it!! Who'll go fishing with me now?" real FML

#19948729
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24543) - you deserved it (2454)

On 07/17/2012 at 3:19am - love - by lovealways22 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

I Was In The Shower... When I Heard My Daughter Scream And Shout... "Mommy... Mommy! Help! Come Quick!" I Panicked And Rushed Downstairs Without Even Looking For A Towel To Cover Myself... All So I Could Fine Out She'd Just Gotten A Piece Of Dirt On Her Shoe. Mega FML

#19881978
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22535) - you deserved it (2515)

On 07/02/2012 at 5:17pm - kids - by Sh*t (woman) - Venezuela (Distrito Federal)

Today , mah boyfriend an I were in bd making out!! He then trid to unhook mah bra!! After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully , he shoutd ( Fuck you , bra! ) before hiding his face in the pillows!! FML

#19877341
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33245) - you deserved it (4807)

On 07/01/2012 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my daughter's hamster pulled the water bottle off the glass, so I decided to super-glue the bottle back on. We came back an hour later to see if it had stuck, only to fine both the bottle and rodent glued to the glass. FML

#19875784
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8056) - you deserved it (25426)

On 07/01/2012 at 11:59am - animals - by mommabuser -

Today, I found out just how easy it is to be launched against the wall and sucker-punched into oblivion by a 200-pound former Marine turned professional body-builder. I discovered this after I told mah fiancée's dad that we were expecting a baby. big fat FML

#19867923
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25329) - you deserved it (4193)

On 06/29/2012 at 7:57pm - health - by fuckjuggalos (man) - United States (Oregon)

TODAY, I REALIZED JUST HOW MUCH OF A BITCH I AM WHEN I GROUNDED MY SON 4 NOT TELLING ME WHAT HE GOT ME 4 MY BRTHDAY. FML

#19861407
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6252) - you deserved it (80853)

On 06/28/2012 at 4:29pm - kids - by MeanMother - United States (Missouri)

Today, I woke up to a punch in the balls. FML

#19860691
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23763) - you deserved it (3947)

On 06/28/2012 at 1:36pm - misc - by whoslade (man) - United States

Today, mah grandmother said she's noticed that I've been very angry lately. She cummed to the conclusion that I "haven't been laid enough" and mah boyfriend is "not doing his job." Thanks Grandma. FML

#19855906
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25271) - you deserved it (4294)

On 06/27/2012 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by RatCityChick - United States (Washington)

TODAY, I WAS ASSIGNED TO WORK ON A HUGE PROJECT WITH MICHAEL. MICHAEL REFERS TO HIMSELF IN THE THRD PERSON, CONSTANTLY MUMBLES UNINTELLIGIBLY TO HIMSELF, DOESN'T SMILE, LAUGH OR MAKE EYE CONTACT, AN REFUSES TO ADDRESS ME DRECTLY. I'LL BE STUCK WITH HIM 4 ABOUT FOUR MONTHS. FML

#19855807
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20538) - you deserved it (1971)

On 06/27/2012 at 12:53pm - work - by NoMagicMike (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today... I got a cramp while swimming. It took the lifeguard 5 minute to stop flirting with a girl before trying to help me. FML

#19850221
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23998) - you deserved it (3105)

On 06/26/2012 at 11:08am - misc - by EdgardoP - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at a job interview, my interviewer bent forward an I admired his ass. When he turned, I couldn't tell if he caught me or not. At the end of the interview he shook my hand in congratulations of getting the job, then said "Yes, I do work out." I have to see him everyday now. FML

#19848904
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8965) - you deserved it (27521)

On 06/26/2012 at 2:18am - work - by cmck932012 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I Fell Asleephile On The Toilet At Work. When I Woke Up, I Tried To Quietly Sneak Back To My Desk, Only To Be Caught By My Boss. He Immediately Sent Me Packing And Gave His "best Wishes" For Me In The Unemployment Line. FML

#19835247
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9028) - you deserved it (27399)

On 06/23/2012 at 6:21pm - work - by XoXonedirectionXoXo (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today , as a romantic gesture , mah boyfriend gifted me an origami vagina. FML

#19833560
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26008) - you deserved it (4306)

On 06/23/2012 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Ireland (Cork)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

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