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Today, my son's hamster died. It was overweight and got stuck in its plastic tube. My 6 year old son came downstairs to me smashing a plastic tube with a dead hamster in it on the kitchen table. He thinks I killed it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19937) - you totally deserved it (2477)
On 10/27/2009 at 3:35pm - misc - by freylero - United Kingdom (Greater London)
Today, while sitting with my son, an ice cream cone landed on my head from out of no where. I look up to see three children on the balcony above us yelling, "Look we hit the fat lady!" They ran away laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22311) - you totally deserved it (2980)
On 10/22/2009 at 11:47am - misc - by mvgirl - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my house got robbed, while I was upstairs taking a dump. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29898) - you totally deserved it (3479)
On 10/20/2009 at 6:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I told my daughter how her eyes look exactly as pretty as my wife's. She told me that she loved the way my eyeballs stick out of my face, just like Elmo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23290) - you totally deserved it (2349)
On 10/03/2009 at 8:33am - kids - by dessaye (man) - Singapore
Today, I tried to flirt with my girlfriend since I'm really busy and we can't always be together. I tell her online that I think she's hot and she responds "Keep talking I have to pee". FML
I agree, your life sucks (18515) - you totally deserved it (3411)
On 09/29/2009 at 12:38am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I was walking with my girlfriend when a little guy walked up and flirted with her. I'm a pretty weak guy and he looked weaker, so I gave him a little push and said "Back off". He's actually not weak at all. I've got a black eye and a girlfriend who won't stop laughing to prove it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8258) - you totally deserved it (22368)
On 09/27/2009 at 2:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I decided to surprise my husband in the shower. I got in and we were talking and goofing around and I stuck out my chest and sucked in my stomach being stupid and my husband says "Wait! Do it again! That's how you looked when I first met you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23788) - you totally deserved it (6900)
On 09/25/2009 at 2:24am - love - by WOWreally (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was planning on breaking up with my girlfriend of five years in two days time. She just mailed me a care package that said, "I'd die without you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24769) - you totally deserved it (7566)
On 09/24/2009 at 12:52am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, it was raining. I was out walking with my girlfriend, and decided it would be cute if we bit of dancing in the rain. As I was swinging her round, I swung her head against a lamp post. She broke up with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27255) - you totally deserved it (11896)
On 09/08/2009 at 6:46am - love - by Charlie (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was at the mall with my little brother. I saw him touching some expensive objects, so I slapped his arm. I noticed he wasn't my brother when he started crying and his real mom slapped me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8471) - you totally deserved it (31723)
On 08/09/2009 at 3:28am - kids - by mochiko (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (88724) - you totally deserved it (19192)
On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)
Today, I babysat 3 year old twins. They have a huge dry erase board hanging inbetween their beds. After they fell asleep I drew a very detailed and large drawing of a penis. When I went to erase it I realized it was in Sharpie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22690) - you totally deserved it (242942)
On 03/15/2009 at 1:47pm - kids - by babysitter (woman) - United States (New York)
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