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mylifestoryy

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mylifestoryy
  • Town/Country : US
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 28 March 1990 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 1318
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About mylifestoryy : 7 FML's denied? I don't even remember sending any in lol

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mylifestoryy's favorite FMLs

Today, I was talking to this guy I like. He's very private and hides all his photos and wall posts on Facebook. Or so I thought, turns out he has me on a restricted friends list, titled "Creepers." FML

#6746062
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7691) - you deserved it (15459)

On 12/14/2009 at 12:03am - love - by creeper (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at a party where I ate bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML

#6298765
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16746) - you deserved it (29759)

On 11/14/2009 at 8:37am - misc - by swedishdude (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60653) - you deserved it (15379)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my friend snuck up on me and yelled, "Gotcha!" I screamed and dropped a gallon of blood-red paint on my new, white kitchen floor. Now it looks like I've murdered someone in my kitchen. FML

#4876384
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35943) - you deserved it (3639)

On 08/28/2009 at 2:11am - misc - by kitchencrime (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was at a concert and the guy who was selling the drinks tripped and fell down the stairs, landing on the floor next to me and the drinks went all over. I went to make sure he was okay and helped pick up the drinks. After assuring me he was okay, he gave me a free soda. It exploded. FML

#4875760
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31816) - you deserved it (11478)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:39am - misc - by blinkme (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom told me she was getting tired of that smell of marijuana in the house. So I confess and tell her I will never bring it home again. She was talking about my neighbors. FML

#4874504
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8961) - you deserved it (7784)

On 08/28/2009 at 12:42am - misc - by Dumbweed (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I swerved to avoid hitting a dog that ran in front of my car. The dog was fine but I hit a road sign, ripped off my rearview mirror, and cracked my passenger side window. When I got out to examine the damage to my car, the dog growled at me. FML

#4500553
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35967) - you deserved it (4580)

On 08/13/2009 at 12:49pm - animals - by animalover - United States (Georgia)

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494
813 comments

I agree, your life sucks (113722) - you deserved it (71760)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I woke up with a hangover after an intense night out. I decided to look at my camera to figure out what happened the night before. All my pictures were deleted except one video of me dancing to Lollipop by Lil Wayne, and giving a lapdance and head to my giant plush rat. FML

#2454603
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8742) - you deserved it (49692)

On 05/31/2009 at 1:48am - misc - by crunkdrunk (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my last task for the day as a high school janitor was to power-wash the concrete area where the graduation ceremony will take place. Tired and bored, I drew a huge penis with the power hose. Right before I was going to wash it off, the machine broke. Graduation is tomorrow. FML

#2350763
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15007) - you deserved it (65112)

On 05/27/2009 at 7:10pm - work - by waterproblem (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I thought it would be funny to bother my friend Emily. I kept punching her. She asked if I wanted to fight. I agreed because she's a 15 year old skinny girl and I'm 17 year old buff guy. She beat the crap out of me until I cried. FML

#2234853
419 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13681) - you deserved it (110360)

On 05/24/2009 at 5:49am - misc - by AyoitsSteveo (man) - United States (California)

Today, was my wedding night. We had decided to wait until marriage to have sex. When I undressed and smiled at my new wife, she burst into tears and cried, "please don't make me do this." FML

#2200863
532 comments

I agree, your life sucks (197276) - you deserved it (20883)

On 05/23/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by honeymoondisaster (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my brother came out to our family as being gay. My mother starting crying because "She wanted grandchildren." I told her that I was planning on having children. She started crying harder. FML

#2095201
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60807) - you deserved it (3349)

On 05/19/2009 at 9:21pm - kids - by bopbop (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was coaching a little league soccer game. I was telling one of my players to go cover another kid. I said "go cover the little yellow kid!" because he happened to be wearing a yellow shirt. He also happened to be Asian. I then got death stares from his family members. FML

#2009898
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50491) - you deserved it (17277)

On 05/17/2009 at 9:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)



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