About myheadisBUSy : Hey. I'm Mitch. A cynical, sarcastic asshole with some common sense thrown in. Don't ask me about my name, it was a temporary thing.
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myheadisBUSy's favorite FMLs
Today, my neighbor had a word with me for being "loud in the bedroom" last night. I haven't had any action for two years now, but I was too happy that she thought I'd got lucky to tell her the truth. So what was I really doing last night? Trying to sing like Christina Aguilera. FML
by I must suck at singing / 02/17/2014 at 7:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my 12-year-old daughter glued her left eyelid shut with fake eyelash glue. After spending 4 hours in the ER, I asked her why she did it. "I wanted to get Blake to notice me," she said. Blake is our neighbor's convict son. FML
by AnnoyedSister / 12/30/2013 at 5:28pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
Today, a woman started giving me grief because we didn't have any Boxing Day sales. As I explained to her that dollar stores don't usually have sales, she tried to lamp me. It ended by her getting dragged out of the store. FML
by Anonymous / 12/27/2013 at 1:06am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
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- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, someone at work put their used, bloodied tampon applicator back in its wrapper, and into the… Today, I found out that the neighborhood call-girl my husband and I secretly joke about is the same… Today, I went to get the Apple store, my Mac had been making a grinding noise from the fan. The guy…