About myheadisBUSy : Hey. I'm Mitch. A cynical, sarcastic asshole with some common sense thrown in. Don't ask me about my name, it was a temporary thing.
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myheadisBUSy's favorite FMLs
Today, my neighbor had a word with me for being "loud in the bedroom" last night. I haven't had any action for two years now, but I was too happy that she thought I'd got lucky to tell her the truth. So what was I really doing last night? Trying to sing like Christina Aguilera. FML
by I must suck at singing / 02/17/2014 at 7:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my 12-year-old daughter glued her left eyelid shut with fake eyelash glue. After spending 4 hours in the ER, I asked her why she did it. "I wanted to get Blake to notice me," she said. Blake is our neighbor's convict son. FML
by AnnoyedSister / 12/30/2013 at 5:28pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
Today, a woman started giving me grief because we didn't have any Boxing Day sales. As I explained to her that dollar stores don't usually have sales, she tried to lamp me. It ended by her getting dragged out of the store. FML
by Anonymous / 12/27/2013 at 1:06am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
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- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…
- Today, one week after my girlfriend berated me for not being invested enough in our relationship, I… Today, the guy I've been seeing bought me a nice bottle of wine and cooked dinner for me. Later, we… Today, I walked into my dorm room, only to witness my roommate shaving her vag over my trashcan. FML