Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

mygreenhoodie

Search for a member

mygreenhoodie

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1172
  • Number of comments : 120
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About mygreenhoodie : Don\\\\\\\'t worry bout it

mygreenhoodie's page activity

Visits<b>fuckthepolice12</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 12:52am<b>54MU31</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 1:43am<b>ThirteenThirteen</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 3:44am<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 3:26pm<b>battlehamster</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 2:32pm<b>awesomesausage</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 1:24pm<b>allyiscute1</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 7:20pm<b>Zach_attack_</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 11:31am<b>RicklePickle</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 7:28pm<b>zoegirl_455</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 5:03pm<b>omgwhattt</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 12:03am<b>LexiDaBae</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 7:44am<b>silon5</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 5:54am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 7:49pm<b>boomboom838</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 9:26pm<b>StateFarm98</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 4:48pm<b>joefrazier</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 5:38pm<b>ThatGuy7769</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 10:47pm

mygreenhoodie's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

mygreenhoodie's favorite FMLs

Today, is the anniversary of my cat's death, so I went to visit her grave in the pet cemetery. Someone had spray-painted "Your cat sucks" on her grave. FML

#16350161
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47863) - you deserved it (10615)

On 05/25/2011 at 10:48pm - animals - by nrelavender - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was mugged. The guy mugging me was eating a banana. FML

#15917217
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33937) - you deserved it (6997)

On 04/25/2011 at 8:11am - misc - by wtfisthisworldcomingto -

Today, it's been 5 years I've been working for a man that won't admit he has Tourette's. He sits at his desk, twitching his head and hissing like a snake. He's also randomly said things like 'nipples', 'Jessica Simpson', 'potato peeler', etc. I feel like it's become my job to warn new employees. FML

#15858383
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31733) - you deserved it (4437)

On 04/20/2011 at 11:25am - work - by ShakeRattleHiss (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband of 30 years told me that he thought we should 'just be friends'. FML

#15793085
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60184) - you deserved it (4327)

On 04/15/2011 at 7:38am - love - by ZaraAce (woman) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said "That was my daughter." FML

#14622916
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31780) - you deserved it (3388)

On 01/18/2011 at 3:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up to all 4 of my wheels stolen from my car. The thieves were kind enough to leave the car resting on wooden blocks and bricks. FML

#14347909
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23697) - you deserved it (2208)

On 12/26/2010 at 6:36pm - misc - by JennieA -

Today, another man proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes. FML

#14246751
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51449) - you deserved it (4389)

On 12/18/2010 at 11:13am - love - by timor (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, there were reports of a drunk and disorderly male, and I arrived at the scene only to discover a drunk guy having explosive diarrhoea in a photo booth. He turned to me and shouted "God save the Queen!" It's then that I remembered it was my job to do something about it. FML

#13444115
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31386) - you deserved it (3231)

On 10/14/2010 at 9:42am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Reserved

Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML

#13026235
418 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31910) - you deserved it (28458)

On 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I discovered that my best friend of 3 years has me in her phone as "Stupid Bitch". FML

#7718053
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27900) - you deserved it (3935)

On 01/30/2010 at 7:32pm - misc - by hahahawoww (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently copied my key before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering: “He looks like Jesus.” FML

#6842444
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40238) - you deserved it (3188)

On 12/20/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML

#5286193
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28658) - you deserved it (5094)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, while watching The Many Adventures of Winnie-the-Pooh with my 5 year old, I realized why the kangaroo's name is Kanga, and why her son's name is Roo. Kanga-Roo. Get it? Yeah. I didn't until today. I'm 47. FML

#3430057
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21782) - you deserved it (49258)

On 07/02/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by slightlyslow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod and leaves. FML

#2932416
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74644) - you deserved it (5543)

On 06/16/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by Tim (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



Juliette Bubulle's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Juliette's illustrated FML
  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

Friday 29 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: