Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

myaccount235

Offline (the 09/12/2014 at 9:21pm) | Search for a member

myaccount235

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 278
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About myaccount235 : Just think of me as your friendly, neighborhood lurker

myaccount235's page activity

Visits<b>Masturcheef</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 2:45am<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/22/2013 at 12:44am

myaccount235's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

myaccount235's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML

#21200680
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52063) - you deserved it (7812)

On 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm - love - by oh shit (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a girl asked me out on a date to some hot springs, about 2 hours away. After a mile hike, the springs were finally in sight. She then slipped and cut her shin open. I had carry her the mile back and drive her the 2 hours to the ER, where her parents, whom I'd never met, were waiting. FML

#21156317
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47743) - you deserved it (4194)

On 05/29/2014 at 7:46pm - love - by jonchavez - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I saw a pair of eyes looking at me from my closet. Realizing it must be my cat, I called her. She immediately came out from under my bed. I can't find anything in my closet. FML

#21155508
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58970) - you deserved it (4558)

On 05/29/2014 at 2:46am - animals - by Idk (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my girlfriend that I love her. She panicked and blurted out our S&M safeword. FML

#21152151
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46352) - you deserved it (6406)

On 05/26/2014 at 11:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming "What the fuck?!" FML

#21151127
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47416) - you deserved it (7217)

On 05/25/2014 at 12:09pm - misc - by great 1st impression (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I was feeling adventurous and decided to freeball it to school. As I went to sit down during first class, I managed to sit on my own balls, scream, then collapse on the floor gasping. My teacher thought I was screwing around and gave me detention. FML

#21104415
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32495) - you deserved it (17964)

On 04/04/2014 at 1:26pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, Christmas changed my life. Last year I had a boyfriend to cuddle with on Christmas; this year I have a body pillow of an anime character. FML

#21004509
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37311) - you deserved it (6545)

On 12/25/2013 at 2:46am - love - by lonely otaku (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML

#20963410
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55610) - you deserved it (8452)

On 11/19/2013 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by oops999 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got my girlfriend to play Smash Bros Brawl with me. As it was her first time, I set up handicaps to give her at least a shot at winning. She won, quite handily. A little irritated at this, I took off the handicaps and tried again. She beat me even faster. FML

#20847705
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39007) - you deserved it (23226)

On 08/21/2013 at 11:17am - misc - by Loser (man) - United States

Today, I went downstairs a little after midnight to grab a snack, and in the dark hallway, I clearly saw a small child walk into the kitchen. I was freaked out, but I followed him in. There was nobody in the room. I'm now too scared to sleep, and am seriously considering moving house. FML

#20841635
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54770) - you deserved it (4576)

On 08/17/2013 at 12:27pm - misc - by fsfs (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML

#20796032
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60259) - you deserved it (4381)

On 07/21/2013 at 4:54pm - misc - by notenoughunderwearintheworld (man) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

#20773595
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75986) - you deserved it (3698)

On 07/10/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Wtf (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my wife uttered the soul-crushing words, "But we're married now, why would we have sex?" FML

#20706140
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84116) - you deserved it (8041)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by ._. (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, while at my aunt's funeral, my grandma who has terrible memory loss asked me whose funeral we were at. I had to explain to her that her daughter had died. FML

#20702720
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81414) - you deserved it (3453)

On 06/03/2013 at 1:32am - misc - by Me - United States (Illinois)

Today, as I was lying on my bed with one of my arms hanging from the side, I felt something sniff my hand from underneath. I don't have any pets. FML

#20688489
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56655) - you deserved it (3894)

On 05/27/2013 at 12:05am - animals - by scared-straight - United States



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: