Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

my_usagi

Search for a member

my_usagi

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 20 April 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6175
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About my_usagi : Skittles:)

my_usagi's page activity

Visits<b>Tezoma</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 11:11pm<b>slavefeet</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 8:09am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 9:35pm<b>max367</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 9:03am<b>xDochx</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 11:21pm<b>Bobissmall</b> - the 11/30/2011 at 2:39pm<b>sweetsourangel</b> - the 09/12/2011 at 2:57pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 07/25/2011 at 8:35pm<b>cammi629</b> - the 04/07/2011 at 9:13am

my_usagi's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

my_usagi's favorite FMLs

Today, I set my alarm half-an-hour earlier so I could masturbate. That's how horny and single I am. FML

#19129332
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20882) - you deserved it (24617)

On 02/21/2012 at 3:10am - intimacy - by desperate905 - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I received more affection from my wife in a video game than I ever have in real life. FML

#19128091
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21306) - you deserved it (3846)

On 02/21/2012 at 12:01am - love - by bloodshedblack - United States (Colorado)

Today, I tried to find myself a friend on Craigslist. FML

#19122192
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23431) - you deserved it (7751)

On 02/20/2012 at 11:19am - misc - by shea234 - United States

Today, my friend and I got into such a heated debate the police had to be called. The debate was about Whitney Houston. FML

#19120522
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7482) - you deserved it (28735)

On 02/20/2012 at 2:41am - misc - by OhMyWhitney - United States (Illinois)

Today, my car key clicker wouldn't let me in. After a few frustrating minutes, I realized that, besides electronic capabilities, it's also an actual key that fits in a hole to unlock my door. FML

#19119927
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5988) - you deserved it (35464)

On 02/20/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was talking to my grandpa while he was gardening outside. Suddenly I feel this hard, salty thing fly into my mouth and I spit it out. It turned out to be a beetle. My grandpa takes one look at the beetle and says, "Well, at least that poor bug finally got you to shut up." FML

#19119481
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22436) - you deserved it (5858)

On 02/20/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by vw (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my desk is perfectly placed so that my boss can shoot me with a Nerf gun from his office. FML

#19118212
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26488) - you deserved it (3494)

On 02/19/2012 at 9:42pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while in Walmart, I noticed an old man who had been following me for about five minutes. I politely pulled over with my cart and smiled at him so he could pass. He then said with a creepy smile, "So it's your turn to stare at my butt now?" It's the most attention I've gotten in weeks. FML

#19117584
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28598) - you deserved it (2826)

On 02/19/2012 at 8:14pm - love - by Nicole - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend sang "happy birthday" to my vagina. It was my birthday last month and he forgot, but he remembered the date of the first time he went down on me. FML

#19113419
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29954) - you deserved it (4110)

On 02/19/2012 at 6:37am - intimacy - by me - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was showing off my sexy new lingerie set to my boyfriend. While we were getting frisky, he got really into things and ripped it completely off my body, destroying it. It cost me $110. FML

#19109811
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26703) - you deserved it (17723)

On 02/18/2012 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by Lilah - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was talking to my husband about a work colleague, whose boyfriend is always sending her flowers and fawning over her. I mentioned how I've never been treated like that. He glanced up from his video game and said, "Shit, Mel. Get a boob job then." FML

#19103032
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29734) - you deserved it (7439)

On 02/17/2012 at 9:04pm - love - by Mel Ancholy (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was so broke and hungry that I went to Olive Garden and faked being stood up, just so I could eat their breadsticks. FML

#19101207
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35261) - you deserved it (5466)

On 02/17/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by 97 (woman) - United States

Today, I was so broke and hungry that I went to Olive Garden and faked being stood up, just so I could eat their breadsticks. FML

#19101207
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35261) - you deserved it (5466)

On 02/17/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by 97 (woman) - United States

Today, I went out on a first date. He insisted we go to McDonald's and split a Happy Meal because he "didn't want to waste any money on a first date." FML

#19098700
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31178) - you deserved it (4081)

On 02/17/2012 at 4:44am - love - by Cheap N Happy (woman) - United States

Today, while working as a receptionist at a health clinic a woman came to settle her account. Before she left, she held out her closed palm and asked if I could put something in the bin for her. I held out my hand and watched many bits of chewed fingernails land in my palm. FML

#19095888
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23467) - you deserved it (2294)

On 02/16/2012 at 8:29pm - work - by Tay - Australia (New South Wales)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: