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my_names_nico

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  • Number of visits : 744
  • Number of comments : 13
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Visits<b>mattloch</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 4:22am

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my_names_nico's favorite FMLs

Today, I was talking to my guy friend about prom. I told him I was turned down by 7 guys. So he said "Well, you could always ask me." I then said "Do you want to go to prom with me?" His response was "Nope...now that's 8!" FML

#650429
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (138309) - you deserved it (25858)

On 03/27/2009 at 8:38pm - love - by rejected (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my friend and I were filming football practice and talking about what guys on the team were attractive and who we would want to get it on with. We didn't realize that the camera was recording everything that we said. The tape was played to the entire team the next day. With sound. FML

#600956
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22997) - you deserved it (115510)

On 03/25/2009 at 3:31pm - misc - by Lady_Luck (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I gave a campus tour to a group of high school seniors. As I was showing off the dorms, one student asks, "Are these beds sturdy enough for threesomes?" Before I could respond, another kid shouts, "How would he know, I bet the only action he gets in bed is from his left hand." She's correct. FML

#553783
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98133) - you deserved it (10287)

On 03/23/2009 at 2:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I decided to introduce my girlfriend to my parents by telling them that we were gonna have a very special guest for dinner. While my mom was preparing the meal she asked, "What does he like?" I'm straight. My parents thought different. FML

#407714
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81769) - you deserved it (6766)

On 03/17/2009 at 3:25am - love - by isaacBENNETT (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to get my midterm essay grade thinking I couldn't have made lower than a B. Got to class and my douchebag professor gave me an F. He wrote "Best essay I read, would've been an A if it was the right topic." I wrote on the Industrial Revolution, instead of the Scientific Revolution. FML

#303227
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23022) - you deserved it (78969)

On 03/13/2009 at 2:08pm - misc - by Bamamomma01 (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my teacher confiscated my cell phone for text messaging. He said he would give it back if the next text that I would receive was important. I prayed the guy I've been texting didn't send the dick pic he said he was going to. He did. FML

#160435
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27345) - you deserved it (94957)

On 02/28/2009 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by textfail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my teacher confiscated my cell phone for text messaging. He said he would give it back if the next text that I would receive was important. I prayed the guy I've been texting didn't send the dick pic he said he was going to. He did. FML

#160435
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27345) - you deserved it (94957)

On 02/28/2009 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by textfail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my guy friend and I were in his dorm room watching a movie when he started kissing me. Things heated up so we moved things over to his bed. He was on me when a hand shoots down from his top bunk. His roommate had been up there the whole time and he wanted a high-five. So they high-fived. FML

#125499
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81930) - you deserved it (20416)

On 02/24/2009 at 6:32pm - intimacy - by Menareidiots (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I drove into my school. Literally drove into my school. FML

#121869
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19756) - you deserved it (48920)

On 02/24/2009 at 8:43am - misc - by shilpajayseanfan (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I drove into my school. Literally drove into my school. FML

#121869
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19756) - you deserved it (48920)

On 02/24/2009 at 8:43am - misc - by shilpajayseanfan (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after class I was chatting with my teacher, a really cool and stylish old black guy. I tell him he reminds me of one of those soul dudes from those 70s movies, right down to the pimp-walk. He tells me he walks that way because he was beaten for drinking out of the wrong fountain as a kid. FML

#115273
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20998) - you deserved it (46251)

On 02/23/2009 at 5:11pm - misc - by catfish - United States (Texas)

Today, in front of the entire family, I yelled at my mom and told her she wasn't a good parent. She responded with "Well, at least I had friends when I was your age." FML

#62325
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17430) - you deserved it (46003)

On 02/17/2009 at 6:33pm - misc - by loser (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML

#2696
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15479) - you deserved it (67666)

On 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by Boredom - United States

Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML

#2696
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15479) - you deserved it (67666)

On 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by Boredom - United States

Today, I need to go to the toilet. Thinking that everyone has left work, I decide that, since I AM a jedi, my penis ought to be my Light saber. All of a sudden I hear a familiar voice: “At least someone is having fun!” It was my boss. FML

#523
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7639) - you deserved it (28684)

On 12/15/2008 at 10:58pm - work - by lopez - Sent from mobile version



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