my_names_nico

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my_names_nico

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1754
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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my_names_nico's page activity

Visits<b>kayzers</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 12:27pm<b>mattloch</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 4:22am

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my_names_nico's favorite FMLs

Today, I was picking up my little sister from school and while waiting I decided to have a smoke. I was caught and was told to go to the principal's office. I'm 23. FML

by oldschool / 01/22/2010 at 9:10pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, a man I don't know came up to me and started screaming about how "all you damn Mexicans were stealing American's jobs" and he stormed off. I'm Native American, and I'm pretty sure we've been here longer. FML

by hardtotell / 01/21/2010 at 7:45pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, the guy that I've recently became close to texted me, wanting to hook up. He's very cute and I was definitely interested, so I agreed. The drive to his house lasted longer than the actual sex. He lives less than five minutes away. FML

by wasntworththedrive / 01/20/2010 at 1:43am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I was riding my dorm elevator from the 5th floor to the 1st by myself. Since the elevator is really slow, I pulled my pants and underwear down just for kicks. Just then, the door opened to let a girl on at the 4th floor. FML

by embareassed / 01/20/2010 at 12:27am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in the middle of having sex with my girlfriend. I told her that I loved her. She asked me how much wind-shield wiper blades cost. FML

by Upbrakie / 01/12/2010 at 8:09am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I woke up on the coldest morning of the year to discover that the gas fireplace has run out of propane, and there is no water because the pipes are frozen. While trying to locate the frozen pipe, I forgot to let the dog out, and she peed on the carpet. FML

by BW / 01/03/2010 at 11:04am / United States (South Carolina) / Animals

Today, I searched myself on Facebook. I have a fan page made by some girl in Wisconsin. She has pictures of me on it. Can you say stalker? FML

by Anonymous / 10/25/2009 at 8:21pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was paintballing when I got shot in the stomach and winded. As I was gasping for breath on the ground, someone came up and shot me point blank in my crotch. FML

by sore / 10/21/2009 at 4:27am / Australia (South Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was pretending to be a monkey for a "documentary". The branch snapped and I fell out of the tree and onto a car roof. It was after school, I fell onto the dean's BMW. The video was on facebook before I regained consciousness. FML

by jane / 10/09/2009 at 10:04am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, the gas station right in front of my apartment had people listening to loud music all night. I have this 3 hour test at 7:30am and didn't get any sleep. Worst of all, here in Brazil, calling the police won't help a thing. Instead of actually helping, they'll stop and join the party. FML

by stupidpolicia / 09/25/2009 at 4:33am / Brazil (Distrito Federal) / Miscellaneous

Today, my family gathered to pray. It was my brother's turn to pray and he ended with this, "...and help Chev that he does not become the disappointment everyone expects him to be. Amen." I looked on in shock as my entire family nodded and said "Amen" in agreement. Hi, I'm Chev. FML

by jaskyriddims / 09/16/2009 at 3:58pm / Dominica (Saint George) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to text the girl I've had a crush on to ask her on a date. I got back the reply, "Error message 3265: Number No Longer In Swrvice." Not only can she not spell, when I looked it up, "error 3265" doesn't even exist. FML

by ZSL / 08/17/2009 at 5:41pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I had a girl come over to my house that I had been texting for four days. I asked her what she wanted to do and she replied "take a nap". Becoming really excited I lead her to my bedroom and went to the hiding spot for my condoms, she was serious about the nap. FML

by hugedissapointment / 08/09/2009 at 8:43am / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I had a girl come over to my house that I had been texting for four days. I asked her what she wanted to do and she replied "take a nap". Becoming really excited I lead her to my bedroom and went to the hiding spot for my condoms, she was serious about the nap. FML

by hugedissapointment / 08/09/2009 at 8:43am / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I sold a customer some beer. He then asked to see the manager, and told me he was a 19 year old undercover cop. My knee jerk reaction was to panic and curse aloud, before realizing he was balding, toothless, probably 50, certainly not a cop, and laughing at me for being such a gullible moron. FML

by Anonymous / 08/02/2009 at 3:23pm / United States (Georgia) / Work