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my_names_nico

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  • Number of visits : 920
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>mattloch</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 4:22am

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my_names_nico's favorite FMLs

Today, I was reading a crappy "How to spice up your marriage" book with my husband for laughs. One of the ideas was for the guy to whip his knob out, stand behind his girl and say "Can you say that into the microphone?" Now he does it every chance he gets, and I fall for it EVERY TIME. FML

#16542323
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12203) - you deserved it (40208)

On 06/07/2011 at 3:50am - intimacy - by Kate (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I annoyed my friend by texting him 'meow' over and over at random times of the day because when he's drunk he meows in his sleep. Apparently a great way to get back at me was to tell my parents I wasn't a virgin and that I got high on Wednesday. He had pictures to prove it for both. FML

#15442777
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22106) - you deserved it (62664)

On 03/23/2011 at 12:40am - intimacy - by Fcuked (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML

#15334821
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15949) - you deserved it (47543)

On 03/16/2011 at 9:01am - work - by Almostfunny (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got a call from my long distance girlfriend. She's about a month pregnant. I haven't seen her in person for six months, but she still insists it's mine. I don't know which would be worse: her lying or her being that stupid. FML

#15321178
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54178) - you deserved it (5167)

On 03/15/2011 at 11:50am - love - by notthedad (man) - China

Today, I got a call from my long distance girlfriend. She's about a month pregnant. I haven't seen her in person for six months, but she still insists it's mine. I don't know which would be worse: her lying or her being that stupid. FML

#15321178
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54178) - you deserved it (5167)

On 03/15/2011 at 11:50am - love - by notthedad (man) - China

Today, I had a seizure. My dad responded by saying it always happens with my disease. I never have had a disease. Now I have to wait for my dad to stop yelling at my mom about not telling me, so I can ask what I have in the first place. FML

#15296523
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43019) - you deserved it (2726)

On 03/13/2011 at 7:08pm - health - by aldfgadfklbg (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I cheated on my math exam. I still failed. FML

#15122545
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10689) - you deserved it (66691)

On 02/26/2011 at 1:49am - misc - by hopeless (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that I have enough driving skills to manage to hit a pothole and have two of my tires go flat. FML

#14954062
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10669) - you deserved it (16444)

On 02/13/2011 at 12:30am - misc - by FlatTire - United States (Colorado)

Today, I braved the winter weather conditions to get to a clinic for a prescription anti-diarrhea medication. When I arrived to find it closed, I turned around to walk to my car where I slipped on the ice. The impact made me simultaneously bruise my elbow and shit myself. FML

#14660867
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32592) - you deserved it (3205)

On 01/21/2011 at 10:13am - health - by chelseaface (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my parents found several drawings of a dinosaur girl in various bondage equipment posing seductively in my purse. The drawings weren't mine, nor do I have any idea where they came from, but my parents now think I'm a freak. FML

#14022064
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27523) - you deserved it (3487)

On 11/29/2010 at 9:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my cute co-worker asked if he could use my computer. I told him my password and went to the bathroom. When I came back he said he'd finished. I tried to log in, but my password wouldn't work. I then noticed a post-it note on the desk saying, "Stop stalking me and I'll change the password back." FML

#13959673
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8814) - you deserved it (35161)

On 11/24/2010 at 8:18am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my best friend was fired from the place we both work at because she's a bad employee. After they fired her she said, "If I go, I'm taking my best friend with me." So they fired me too. I actually liked that job. FML

#13958382
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33146) - you deserved it (3677)

On 11/24/2010 at 3:45am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my best friend was fired from the place we both work at because she's a bad employee. After they fired her she said, "If I go, I'm taking my best friend with me." So they fired me too. I actually liked that job. FML

#13958382
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33146) - you deserved it (3677)

On 11/24/2010 at 3:45am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my fiancé admitted to me that the only reason he's attracted to me and asked me to marry him is because I look and act like his favorite anime character. FML

Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After several minutes of freaking out and explaining on how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was best thus far. FML

#13787466
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48482) - you deserved it (17711)

On 11/10/2010 at 5:28am - health - by youreajoker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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