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my_names_nico

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  • Number of visits : 924
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>mattloch</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 4:22am

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Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML

#17874410
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25803) - you deserved it (6103)

On 09/30/2011 at 10:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while waiting in line at Gamestop, another customer and the cashier started chatting about how Pokémon is for kids, and anyone over 10 who's into it is weird. Embarrassed, I put the new Pokémon game back on the shelf and snuck out of the store. FML

#17830762
562 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29100) - you deserved it (17310)

On 09/25/2011 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my school voted for a Pokémon theme for this year's homecoming. FML

#17773811
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33352) - you deserved it (16818)

On 09/18/2011 at 5:16pm - misc - by ohgodwhy - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went out on my back patio at night to skinny dip. I live on the intracoastal, and as I was walking towards my pool, the police were doing a random search. From a boat with a spotlight. At least their whistles told me they liked the birthday suit I had on. FML

#17749646
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19906) - you deserved it (8409)

On 09/15/2011 at 3:42am - misc - by Japaroni - United States

Today, I went to the DMV for my second attempt to get my license. I did everything perfectly, stayed at the speed limit, did my three-point turn flawlessly, and parked nicely. The lady failed me because I wasn't using the stick shift right. My car doesn't have a stick shift. FML

#17746591
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31438) - you deserved it (2604)

On 09/14/2011 at 8:13pm - misc - by dmvfail - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I bought a book by a #1 bestselling author, hoping it would distract me from having my manuscript rejected, as well as learn what made their book so successful. Now I realize I need to say stuff like, "I wish I had great boobs (hehe... boobs)" to get my works published. FML

#17696779
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22468) - you deserved it (2837)

On 09/08/2011 at 2:03pm - misc - by WishIWasAWriter (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I got my first handjob. She ripped out a pube. It hurt so bad my eyes teared up. She asked what was wrong and not wanting to make her feel guilty I had to tell her it was "Just so good." FML

#17659578
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36092) - you deserved it (9420)

On 09/04/2011 at 5:36am - intimacy - by southernluxe - United States

Today, I tried to scare a new college friend by sneaking up behind her wearing a mask. It worked. And so did her lightning fast reflexes developed from multiple martial arts championships. My 2 cracked ribs, broken nose and bruised ballsack can now be added to her list of achievements. FML

#17649868
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10291) - you deserved it (47161)

On 09/03/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by only1bigdogme - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I have been released from jail because my idiot friends decided to get me a surprise hooker for my birthday. Turns out "Candy" was actually an undercover cop. My friends ditched me. I was the only one arrested. FML

Today, I was at a music festival, watching one of my favorite bands. The security guys were throwing water into the crowd to cool us down. I saw some about to be thrown by another fan, so I stood with my mouth open to catch some of it. I ended up with a face full of hot piss. FML

#17643298
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29522) - you deserved it (18421)

On 09/02/2011 at 9:45am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my daughter turned Emo. FML

#17640475
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48007) - you deserved it (18428)

On 09/01/2011 at 11:44pm - kids - by nyaahaha - United States

Today, while playing with bubble wrap, I dislocated my thumb. FML

#17628790
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22485) - you deserved it (13150)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:02am - health - by Bigpoppa0507 - Canada

Today, it's been a year since I've been with my girlfriend, and I think that I hate more things about her than I like. For instance, how she likes to throw furniture at me. FML

#17611164
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25755) - you deserved it (9324)

On 08/29/2011 at 8:46am - love - by True Story - Canada

Today, I walked in on my new college roommate holding his cock. He said "Hi I'm Jeffrey, and this is Jeffrey junior" while directing attention towards his penis. It's going to be a long semester. FML

#17574583
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34976) - you deserved it (2584)

On 08/25/2011 at 1:26am - intimacy - by InAnAwkwardSituation - United States (New York)

Today, I started my new job as a teacher. Worried about how I looked, I asked a coworker if I looked okay. She said, "You look fine. Just like a normal high school kid." I spent the next half hour convincing her that I was not a student, but a teacher. FML

#17569578
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24746) - you deserved it (3171)

On 08/24/2011 at 4:33pm - work - by Meagan smith - United States (Colorado)



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