my_names_nico

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my_names_nico

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1555
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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my_names_nico's page activity

Visits<b>kayzers</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 12:27pm<b>mattloch</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 4:22am

my_names_nico's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

my_names_nico's favorite FMLs

Today, like every day since my birth, my name is Spreme. Yeah, you probably have trouble pronouncing it correctly too. FML

by Nico / 11/12/2011 at 10:42am / France / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend has a new obsession: grabbing my junk and whispering in my ear the song, "Baby, Imma Be Your Motivation." Problem? I get an instant boner and she only does it in public, because it's "funny as hell." FML

by InstantHardOn / 11/07/2011 at 11:43pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was the 19th wheel at a party. Yes, I counted. FML

by Tom / 11/01/2011 at 1:01am / United States / Love

Today, I went to the hospital with a broken hand. They gave me a cast and some prescription pain medication. The only problem is that the bottle of medication is child-proof, I live alone and I can't open it with one hand. FML

by charlotte9338 / 10/23/2011 at 7:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I was at a shooting range with my father. The target was a creepy poster of a man. My father said, "This one is for your boyfriend." Perfect groin shot. FML

by Mrs. Terrified / 10/23/2011 at 7:08pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, I was sitting in my room while my mom was talking to my uncle. I had my door open. She said "Yeah my son doesn't know I have his phone password. Girls nowadays are real sluts." FML

by Anonymous / 10/23/2011 at 1:30am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the doctor for a physical. I've been sitting in the doctor's bathroom for 10 minutes now, trying to think of how to tell him I accidentally tripped and spilled my urine sample on the carpet. FML

by socal000 / 10/20/2011 at 8:04am / United States / Health

Today, I thought I'd be helpful and pick up my Dad's car from the repairs shop for him while he was at work. So, on my own, I hopped in my car and I drove the 15 minutes out to the shop. Only upon arriving did I consider the situation I'd put myself in. FML

by BackAndForth / 10/18/2011 at 12:27am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had to escort some dumbass teenager from Home Depot after I found him masturbating in one of the model washrooms. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2011 at 12:30pm / Reserved / Intimacy

Today, in the senior class I teach, I asked my students who had traveled outside of the country, excluding Canada and Mexico. One student raised his hand and proudly stated, "Arizona". He wants to be a doctor. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2011 at 2:42am / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, my dad came to confiscate my phone. I stuck it in between my boobs so he wouldn't be able to see it. He said, "Honey, your breasts aren't big enough to hide that." FML

by G / 10/08/2011 at 1:03pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2011 at 12:17pm / Canada / Intimacy

Today, I showed my boyfriend a calendar, marked with the number of times we've had sex over the past month. Then followed by a calendar of the month before, which had almost triple the number of hits. I had to point out that our stats need to improve. FML

by friskeyk14 / 10/04/2011 at 3:04am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I came back home to find that my house had been robbed, one week after my neighbors. I was walking around my neighborhood to see if anything was suspicious, and discovered that my neighbors had put up a sign, reading: "Rob the neighbors, THEY don't have a security system." FML

by TheAnnoyedNeighbor / 10/03/2011 at 2:08am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was trying to find my first message on Facebook. When I was reaching the bottom, I saw a message from my old crush. It contained a paragraph confessing her love for me and asking me to write back. Don't know how I missed that one. FML

by lostlove / 09/30/2011 at 10:57pm / United States (Missouri) / Love