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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, like every day since my birth, my name is Spreme. Yeah, you probably have trouble pronouncing it correctly too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35703) - you deserved it (2801) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my girlfriend has a new obsession: grabbing my junk and whispering in my ear the song, "Baby, Imma Be Your Motivation." Problem? I get an instant boner and she only does it in public, because it's "funny as hell." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30018) - you deserved it (5789)
On 11/07/2011 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by InstantHardOn (man) - United States
Today, I was the 19th wheel at a party. Yes, I counted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26324) - you deserved it (3212)
On 11/01/2011 at 1:01am - love - by Tom - United States
Today, I went to the hospital with a broken hand. They gave me a cast and some prescription pain medication. The only problem is that the bottle of medication is child-proof, I live alone and I can't open it with one hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23137) - you deserved it (1755)
On 10/23/2011 at 7:32pm - health - by charlotte9338 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was at a shooting range with my father. The target was a creepy poster of a man. My father said, "This one is for your boyfriend." Perfect groin shot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19667) - you deserved it (2877)
On 10/23/2011 at 7:08pm - love - by Mrs. Terrified - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I was sitting in my room while my mom was talking to my uncle. I had my door open. She said "Yeah my son doesn't know I have his phone password. Girls nowadays are real sluts." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21503) - you deserved it (5921)
On 10/23/2011 at 1:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I went to the doctor for a physical. I've been sitting in the doctor's bathroom for 10 minutes now, trying to think of how to tell him I accidentally tripped and spilled my urine sample on the carpet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19443) - you deserved it (3101)
On 10/20/2011 at 8:04am - health - by socal000 (man) - United States
Today, I thought I'd be helpful and pick up my Dad's car from the repairs shop for him while he was at work. So, on my own, I hopped in my car and I drove the 15 minutes out to the shop. Only upon arriving did I consider the situation I'd put myself in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6287) - you deserved it (36564)
On 10/18/2011 at 12:27am - misc - by BackAndForth (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I had to escort some dumbass teenager from Home Depot after I found him masturbating in one of the model washrooms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30872) - you deserved it (2108)
On 10/14/2011 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Reserved
Today, in the senior class I teach, I asked my students who had traveled outside of the country, excluding Canada and Mexico. One student raised his hand and proudly stated, "Arizona". He wants to be a doctor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23378) - you deserved it (2553)
On 10/14/2011 at 2:42am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, my dad came to confiscate my phone. I stuck it in between my boobs so he wouldn't be able to see it. He said, "Honey, your breasts aren't big enough to hide that." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11150) - you deserved it (27798)
On 10/08/2011 at 1:03pm - misc - by G - United States (California)
Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31629) - you deserved it (7635)
Today, I showed my boyfriend a calendar, marked with the number of times we've had sex over the past month. Then followed by a calendar of the month before, which had almost triple the number of hits. I had to point out that our stats need to improve. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18011) - you deserved it (12175)
On 10/04/2011 at 3:04am - intimacy - by friskeyk14 - United States (California)
Today, I came back home to find that my house had been robbed, one week after my neighbors. I was walking around my neighborhood to see if anything was suspicious, and discovered that my neighbors had put up a sign, reading: "Rob the neighbors, THEY don't have a security system." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27126) - you deserved it (2391)
On 10/03/2011 at 2:08am - misc - by TheAnnoyedNeighbor - United States (New York)
Today, I was trying to find my first message on Facebook. When I was reaching the bottom, I saw a message from my old crush. It contained a paragraph confessing her love for me and asking me to write back. Don't know how I missed that one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31597) - you deserved it (5066)
On 09/30/2011 at 10:57pm - love - by lostlove (man) - United States (Missouri)
Monday 17 June 2013
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