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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 603
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About my_name_is_earl : "Hi I'm Arielle and uh I don't think I've ever eaten a fish" " you're an inspiration to us all" yeah I just quoted Finding Nemo :) Im really awkward.. I asked my mom if I could hyphen my name to Awkward-Arielle.. She said no. But I still introduce myself as such.. Ya still reading? Uhh about me: grade A goofball and its a 100% guarantee that I will make you smile or your money back, Im attending a college in the fall can't tell you, buttttt I'm going to study Chemistry and go to Pharmacy school which I'm stoked about :) I like to live by the motto "there's no such thing as strangers only friends you haven't made yet" so feel free to message me

my_name_is_earl's page activity

Visits<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 5:59am<b>Bonngoo</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 1:35pm<b>Jae7</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 12:18am<b>ratman775</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 3:09pm<b>Arni792</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 9:03pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 11:32am<b>fk18</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 2:29pm<b>baseballdude1283</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 4:08am<b>hare</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 2:01pm<b>SadMansSandwich</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 5:24pm<b>ninjuh_wingman</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 3:22am<b>NoMore_CoolNames</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 7:35am<b>olpally</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 2:54am<b>swimgirl712</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 12:12am<b>winston_salem</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 2:23pm<b>Soninuva</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 8:03am<b>Sockturtle</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 7:42am<b>Saone</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 4:53pm

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my_name_is_earl's favorite FMLs

Today, I agreed to lend my daughter's inflatable pool to my neighbor for the day. Barely an hour later, I witnessed his son jump off their balcony, missing the pool by inches. He's now in hospital, and my neighbor has sworn to sue me, saying I'm responsible because the pool is mine. FML

by getmeoutofthiscountry / 07/19/2013 at 3:06pm / United States / Kids

Today, my water broke. I called my mom, who had agreed to watch my other two kids while I went to the hospital. When I asked her to come over, she just said, "Sorry, now isn't a good time." FML

by Upset Mommy / 07/14/2013 at 12:32am / United States / Health

Today, I was packing up my stuff about to go home. I shut off my MacBook but was still pretending to work for the last few minutes, typing on the keyboard. A good way through, I realized my co-worker sitting across from me could see that the Apple logo was off. FML

by awk1 / 06/17/2013 at 8:55pm / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

by hinting / 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I went to a new bar with friends. After arriving I became extremely gassy; I planned a smooth release during the loud music. Little did I know the bar occasionally dips its music to hear the guests singing. When the music turned off all eyes turned to me. FML

by nomwar / 06/17/2013 at 9:55am / United States / Health

Today, my boyfriend bought another expensive bong to go with the one he bought last month, along with his new phone, airsoft gun, and various other things he's blown our money on this year. He's bought nothing to prepare for our son, though, who's due next month. FML

by InconsiderateMuch / 06/16/2013 at 2:11pm / Canada (Alberta) / Money

Today, I heard my roommate moaning my name in the shower. FML

by idontwanttoknow / 06/16/2013 at 7:37am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I went to pick up my 6-year-old son from his friend's house. They were having a great time, and he didn't want to leave. So, while I wasn't looking, he superglued both his hands to their kitchen table. FML

by firestar772 / 06/12/2013 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML

by Anonymous / 05/19/2013 at 2:33pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, in the doctor's waiting room, a little boy asked me for a cookie. I told him that I didn't have any. He replied, "But my mom says that ladies with big butts always have cookies in their handbags." FML

by grossesfesses / 05/15/2013 at 2:58am / France (Picardie) / Miscellaneous

Today, as usual, my mom got shitfaced and started berating me for something. This time, it was for missing a therapy appointment. Not only am I unable to drive, it was her appointment. For her alcoholism. FML

by the only sober one / 05/15/2013 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Health

Today, while driving my grandma home from a family dinner, I had to pull into a gas station, because my tank was almost empty. She became convinced that someone would kidnap her while I went to pay, and eventually threatened to blow us up by tossing her lighter at the gas pumps. FML

by fuckingjesusgran / 05/07/2013 at 6:13pm / Bosnia and Herzegovina (Federation of Bosnia and Herzego) / Transportation

Today, after being nearly homeless and couch-hopping for the last few months, I finally signed a 1-year lease. When I got home, I was surprised to see a picture of my new complex on the front page of the newspaper. It turns out that they are fighting a serious bedbug infestation. FML

by creepycrawley247 / 04/30/2013 at 10:50pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's my wedding day. I have a cold sore that makes me look like The Joker. Make-up won't cover it and the emergency medicine my doctor gave me only irritates it more. My future husband asks, "Why so serious?" and laughs whenever he sees me. Fantastic. FML

by sharibaby / 04/30/2013 at 5:26pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting into the mood with my boyfriend. Ten minutes into it, I told him to "teach me a lesson." His response: "I ain't no teacher." FML

by unforgettablee / 04/29/2013 at 3:08am / United States (California) / Intimacy