Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About mwmessedupl : My life is probably the most fucked up thing possible, I'm diagnosed with epilepsy, food allergies to corn and rice, & I have a very unknown disease called EIA, where i basically get anaphylaxis if i do strenuous excercise.
Okay so i was over at my aunts house during my parents second honey moon, and i promised my six year old cousin i would play hide seek with her so we did i rushed to find a hiding spot in my older cousins bedroom daron (he wasnt home at the time so i hid underneath his bed. Then before I know it i have size 18 feet in my face, he decides to go to bed after work!, and nicole got bored and stopped looking for me so i was stuck under his feet all night. Since i slept in there on his couch no one noticed i was gone
If you wanna tell me your opinion on it email me at: email@example.com,
I check it like twice a week so don't think you'll get a quick response
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was in the supermarket and I see this little boy trying to reach for something on the top shelf. I go over to him and ask if his mom knows where he is. The boy turns around. He was actually a very angry midget. FML
Today, I forgot to take my wallet off the roof of my car and drove away, onto the highway. A man behind me began flashing his lights and waving his arms. I thought he was freaking out because I cut him off. I flipped him off. He was trying to tell me that all my money was flying down the road. FML
Today, I was driving home from school, when I saw this girl I like walking home. Trying to be polite, I pulled over and asked if she wanted a ride. After my offer, I was rejected as she said "No, I'm actually already home," and walked up the nearest driveway... MY driveway. FML
Today, I was working as a manager of the local movie theater. This six year old came in with no parents or anyone else. When I asked him where his parents were he looked at me and said, "Shut up white boy, I don't have to listen to your shit." I just got told by a six year old. FML
Today, I had hooked up with this girl and had finally lulled her asleep. I didn't want to stay so I quietly managed to get my clothes back on and get out the door without waking her. I made it all the way out of her building and to my car before I realized I had forgotten my keys. FML
Today, one of our regular customers came in and was telling me he bought an assault rifle. I told him not to go off his meds and shoot up the store, as a joke. Later, my manager told me that the guy is on antidepressants and was discharged from the military for being "mentally unfit." FML
Today, I was going through my old MSN conversations. I then realized that when I first got MSN, I didn't know that messages you sent after people went offline would be delivered to them when they signed in. I used to type 'I love you' to my crush after every time he went offline. FML