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mwali02

Offline (19 hours ago) | Search for a member

mwali02

71Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 610
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About mwali02 : Nursing
Student
Either working or studying, laughing at FMLs in between.

Nice to meet you... :)

mwali02's page activity

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mwali02's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of mwali02's badges

mwali02's favorite FMLs

Today, I waited tables for the first time at my new restaurant job. I asked a group of older men what they would like. One replied, "A slice of that ass". I'm 19 and a guy. FML

#21413610
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30743) - you deserved it (2775)

On 05/21/2015 at 4:41pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while teaching my class, I hooked my laptop up to the projector and put on a documentary. I left it playing and went to the toilet. When I came back the whole class was talking to my mother. She must've Skyped me while I was gone and someone answered the call. FML

#21409928
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32363) - you deserved it (7065)

On 05/14/2015 at 8:42am - work - by HiddlePuff - Australia

Today, my grandpa told me he was going to be eating out tonight, and I asked at which restaurant. He replied "Your gran's room." and winked. I didn't need that mental image, at all. FML

#21409445
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30599) - you deserved it (2833)

On 05/13/2015 at 12:00pm - misc - by -_- (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a guy asked me for my number. Now I deeply regret giving it to him, because he won't stop sending me Bible quotes and pictures of Jesus. FML

Today, I started work cleaning a customer's pool. I think her husband watches too much porn because he keeps glaring at me from the windows, and I overheard him telling his wife that he knows what's "going on" and that he's "not gonna let it happen". FML

#21397916
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29741) - you deserved it (2102)

On 04/22/2015 at 11:44am - work - by cock blocked (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my boyfriend when he started squeezing me as if I were a ketchup bottle. He said he wanted my period to end quicker, and he honestly thought that would work. FML

Today, I got a large envelope from a college I applied to earlier. My mom, expecting big news, made my family gather round as I opened it. It ended up being a letter of rejection from not just that school, but all 3 campuses of the state college. FML

#21342027
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30439) - you deserved it (2329)

On 01/22/2015 at 12:22am - misc - by 1415926 - United States

Today, my wife slapped me for touching her boobs during sex. FML

#21296872
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47754) - you deserved it (4898)

On 11/11/2014 at 10:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend kept jiggling my fat rolls while we were cuddling. I was annoyed, and I told him he could at least go for my boobs instead. He instantly replied, "But these are bigger..." FML

#21293369
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37006) - you deserved it (8413)

On 11/06/2014 at 12:14pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned that the house I've been living in and paying rent for the past two months was never advertised as vacant. I learned this when the actual homeowners walked in, and called the police for an "intruder." FML

#21291174
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35985) - you deserved it (3022)

On 11/03/2014 at 10:54am - money - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, I went into an exam room to do a check-up on one of my patients. I told the little girl's mother that she needed her flu shots. When the girl heard this, she took an apple out of her pocket and threw it at me. FML

#21267077
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33368) - you deserved it (3940)

On 09/28/2014 at 3:26pm - health - by jazzie7719 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got a call from a girl I dated long ago, who cheated on me and got pregnant by another guy, or so we thought. Turns out it isn't his, and she is taking me to court for child support. FML

#20986260
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50237) - you deserved it (7264)

On 12/09/2013 at 12:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, upon hearing of the death of Nelson Mandela, I posted a link on Facebook to the South African children's hospital in his name and donated. I was completely ignored whilst my newsfeed became clogged by my middle-class friends with "RIP Nelson Mandela" and photos of Morgan Freeman. FML

Today, my boss's obese bully of a grandson had a seizure. Being the only physician around, I had to rush in to tend to him. Except it wasn't a seizure as such. My daughter had found my taser and used it on him. FML

#20971381
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46024) - you deserved it (4844)

On 11/26/2013 at 2:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)



Juliette Bubulle's illustrated FML

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FML's blog

  • Juliette's illustrated FML
  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

Friday 29 May 2015

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