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Today, I was writing a huge paper for a class as our last grade. My dog starts scratching himself. He hit the power button on the computer. Nothing was saved. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29931) - you totally deserved it (24532)
On 05/25/2009 at 3:45pm - misc - by duderboi99 (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I snuck out of my house in the middle of the night. I ran into my dad carrying wine into another house. I didn't assume he was cheating until he saw me and said "I won't tell if you don't tell, please don't tell your mother". FML
I agree, your life sucks (56490) - you totally deserved it (2161)
On 05/25/2009 at 10:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was watching tv on the couch. My mom then kicked me off so she could lie down. Exhausted, I asked if I could sit at the end. She said no. A minute later she called the dog to come sit with her. As I was sitting on the ground, my mom told me to move because "the dog can't see the TV." FML
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On 05/24/2009 at 2:05pm - misc - by holly (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33319) - you totally deserved it (12139)
On 05/23/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by Tootsy_Roll_Pop (man) - United States
Today, my cat kept sneezing all morning so I took her to the vet. $150 later and the vet says she's fine. I get home and the noise starts up again. My automatic air freshener spray sounds just like my cat sneezing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10135) - you totally deserved it (31224)
On 05/20/2009 at 5:07am - misc - by catlover (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I adopted a dog from the local shelter. I put the dog in the car and he was shedding everywhere, but I was ok with that because he was my dog. As I pulled into the parking lot, the dog began to poop in the backseat of my car. When I got him out of the car, he ran off. $100 for him to poop and run away. FML
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On 05/19/2009 at 10:17pm - misc - by Debra2005 - United States (Texas)
Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About 2 minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML
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On 04/14/2009 at 10:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I found my dog, who had been missing for over a month, at the local pound. Clearly it was my dog, she responded to her name and cried when she saw me. However, the woman there told me I could not simply take her, I had to follow through with all policies. I paid $250 to adopt my own dog. FML
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On 04/12/2009 at 1:55pm - misc - by anbrown6 - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my biology teacher told me that every Friday we should wear a hideous shirt to count down the last days of freshman year. So when Friday came around we decided to have a contest for most hideous shirt. I won. I forgot to wear a hideous shirt. FML
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On 04/04/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I accidentally dropped my phone in the toilet. I automatically dove my hand in and ran out of the stall with it. As I dried it, some girls were laughing. I assumed that they were laughing because my phone fell in the toilet. Then I noticed my pants were still down. FML
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On 04/03/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by tmac (woman) - United States
Today, my mom and sister both told me that they don't like when I come visit with my boyfriend. They love my boyfriend and think he's great, it's me they have a problem with. FML
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On 04/03/2009 at 2:40pm - misc - by littleone37 (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I got in my car. When I sat down, I realized a cat had got in the back seat. The cat startled me so I jumped out and slammed the door. Locking myself out. I watched the cat scratch my seats up for an hour. I'm highly allergic to cats. I can't get in my own car without breaking out in hives. FML
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On 04/03/2009 at 1:23am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my cell phone broke. It wouldn't even turn on. I went online to access my account so that I could order a new phone. I couldn't remember my password. The phone company had an option of "forgot my password". Upon clicking I get a message saying "Your password will be sent to your phone". FML
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On 04/02/2009 at 1:07pm - misc - by nhanley1 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I overheard a conversation two of my friends were having about Homer, so I interjected with a quip about a Simpson's episode I had seen before. They were talking about the poet. I'm an AP literature student. FML
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On 03/31/2009 at 1:12am - misc - by apenglishstudent (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was at my bosses house for a company BBQ. Earlier I had taken muscle relaxants to calm my lower back pain. After a few drinks it was clear the alcohol and medication did not mix. I woke up few hours later to find out I had stripped naked and jumped into the 4 foot cake before passing out. FML
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On 03/30/2009 at 6:17pm - work - by Donzai (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
