About murmurssss : Hear this please, watch as your heart speeds up endlessly. Look for the stars as the sun goes down. Each breath that you take has a thunderous sound...everything, everything's magic.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I woke up screaming after a nightmare about clowns, which wouldn't be too bad if I hadn't been surrounded by coworkers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10627) - you deserved it (20188)
On 03/11/2011 at 11:05am - work - by scaredofbozo -
Today, whilst having sex, my husband screamed out a man's name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43771) - you deserved it (4114)
On 01/22/2011 at 8:00am - intimacy - by fmlalways - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)
Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24757) - you deserved it (15688) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to take our first shower together. When he came into the room, he had swimming trunks on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27956) - you deserved it (3891)
On 12/31/2010 at 1:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous -
Today, I told my parents that I wanted a little brother. My dad apparently thought it would be funny to tell me that my mom just swallowed my little brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47351) - you deserved it (6502)
On 11/13/2010 at 2:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24813) - you deserved it (21135)
On 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, I met a girl who's the whole package: brains, beauty, shared interests, great personality, single, and into me. Too bad I married my bitchy, depressive high school girlfriend who said she'd kill herself if I didn't. Sometimes, she still tells me she'll do it if we divorce. I believe her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36848) - you deserved it (18245)
On 12/09/2009 at 8:27am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my greatgrandpa came over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, he pooped himself. My family went through the rest of the meal acting like we hadn't noticed to avoid embarassment. As it was coming to an end, my sister came home and immediately yelled, "Ew! Did someone poop?" He cried. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35019) - you deserved it (1927)
On 12/09/2009 at 2:39am - misc - by PoorGramps - United States (Texas)
Today, I was spending time with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. I started tearing up and telling him that I feel like he never has time for me anymore. He responded with, "I'm hungry." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24027) - you deserved it (6879)
On 10/26/2009 at 1:25pm - love - by hanzastfu (woman) - United States (California)
Today, the weird receptionist at the hotel I'm staying at asked me if I needed an extra blanket because I "looked cold in my sleep last night". FML
I agree, your life sucks (53928) - you deserved it (2058)
On 09/24/2009 at 5:50am - misc - by scaredtosleep (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I realized that the shorts I have been wearing all day say "Juicy" on the ass. My name is John. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9702) - you deserved it (36974)
On 09/08/2009 at 9:33pm - misc - by JuicyJohn (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, at work, a woman came up to the counter and asked if we made sweet and sour chicken. Before I could answer, she told me a really long recipe and said "I expect to see this on the menu next time I come in, or I will complain to the manager about your lousy work ethic". I work at Starbucks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59736) - you deserved it (2741)
On 07/05/2009 at 1:21am - work - by Barista (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I had a really cute waitress at lunch. I decided to leave my number and a $50 bill for a $15 check. When I left the restaurant I realized I still had the $50 but a $1 bill was missing from my wallet. I've been getting threatening text messages all day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12469) - you deserved it (45752)
On 04/06/2009 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an airhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the girl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (73150) - you deserved it (24455)
On 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (55603) - you deserved it (324206)
On 02/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by Noname - United States (Michigan)
Monday 20 May 2013
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