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mtrevino122

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mtrevino122

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  • Number of visits : 141
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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mtrevino122's favorite FMLs

Today, a guy in my class was talking about himself. He started his story with, "When I was little, I was a ginger." I replied without thinking, "Is that why you got put up for adoption?" Him being adopted was the actual story he wanted to tell. FML

#21246134
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16675) - you deserved it (35505)

On 08/26/2014 at 11:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, it's my fourth day of my trip to the USA. I've actually started keeping count of the number of times people get confused because I was born in South Africa and yet am not black. Current count: 9. FML

#21245756
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36090) - you deserved it (3203)

On 08/26/2014 at 12:22pm - misc - by WTF, guys? - United States (California)

Today, my sister felt guilty and told me about the changes she secretly made to my résumé months ago. She'd put "doing your mom" and "corporate espionage" as my hobbies, and "Justin Bieber's pussy waxer" as a previous job. No wonder I'm still unemployed. FML

#21244565
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36994) - you deserved it (6977)

On 08/24/2014 at 5:50pm - work - by fuck you, tasha (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I witnessed my karate instructor whimper and practically piss himself as a guy walked up to him in the street and demanded his wallet. What a total waste of hundreds of dollars' worth of lessons. FML

#21244527
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31047) - you deserved it (3555)

On 08/24/2014 at 4:45pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, some random bloke introduced himself at a bar by asking to fuck me. I got tongue-tied trying to say both "fuck off" and "please go away". I ended up telling him to "Please fuck away." FML

#21242424
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36163) - you deserved it (6615)

On 08/21/2014 at 12:36pm - misc - by royallymessedup -

Today, I went on my first date in 8 years. While we were looking at the menu, the guy said: "So if you're vegetarian, why're you so fat?" FML

#21241880
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40667) - you deserved it (6789)

On 08/20/2014 at 6:14pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my 24-year-old, unemployed brother stole all of my food money and went out with his friends. His punishment from our parents? He has to pay me back when he gets a job. My stomach has to wait. FML

#21241750
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38875) - you deserved it (2580)

On 08/20/2014 at 2:59pm - money - by HungryStudent (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I'm getting married. I have a big poofy white dress and, oh yes, the shits. Here's hoping I can make it down the aisle without rushing off to the toilet. FML

#21241662
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38866) - you deserved it (2816)

On 08/20/2014 at 1:01pm - love - by ithinkicanmakeit - Canada (Alberta)

Today, two children decided it would be fun to try to ding-dong-ditch me. I never answered the door as I saw them running away. They did it a couple of times before getting bored. That's when they decided it would be fun to come into my house instead. FML

#21240389
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39409) - you deserved it (4229)

On 08/18/2014 at 8:10am - kids - by I hate children - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I asked my husband to tell me something nice about myself. He thought for a few moments, then said, "Uh, you shit quietly." FML

#21239720
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40020) - you deserved it (5600)

On 08/17/2014 at 12:40pm - love - by ugh thanks - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out my girlfriend has been cheating on me. When I told my sister, she just smiled, held up a closed fist, and said "Look at the number of fucks I give!" She then raised a finger, said "Oops. Finger spasm!" then lowered it again. FML

#21238375
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42238) - you deserved it (4133)

On 08/15/2014 at 6:09pm - love - by meltdowninrels (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I made fun of a girl singing passionately along to a song on her radio while in traffic next to me. She decided that her chocolate milkshake would make a good addition to my brand new seat covers. FML

#21237592
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14879) - you deserved it (70383)

On 08/14/2014 at 5:54pm - misc - by oops - United States (California)

Today, I asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He smiled broadly and said "A porn star!" FML

#21237548
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37472) - you deserved it (5968)

On 08/14/2014 at 4:44pm - kids - by cahsecuel (woman) - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, I hooked up with a girl at a club, and we had sex. She just lay there like a corpse the whole time. It got so bad, I ended up faking an orgasm and blaming the lack of semen on a botched vasectomy. She actually believed it. What the hell? FML

#21235982
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38568) - you deserved it (9042)

On 08/12/2014 at 4:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37586) - you deserved it (23043)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)



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