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msrachelmarie

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msrachelmarie

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  • Number of visits : 314
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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msrachelmarie's favorite FMLs

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, I ran into a good friend at work. I work at a jail. She doesn't. FML

#21211411
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47511) - you deserved it (409)

On 07/16/2014 at 11:51pm - misc - by Is that..? - United States (Colorado)

Today, the couple who had written the offer we had accepted for our house withdrew it because apparently when they came by for the home inspection, my next door neighbor's teenage son tried to sell them heroin. FML

Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML

#21206318
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39464) - you deserved it (7669)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:38pm - animals - by and god shat (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48101) - you deserved it (6367)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my sister ran into my room unannounced while I was on webcam with a potential employer. Before I could react, she looked at my screen, said "Damn, he's fucking hot." and flashed him. FML

#21191852
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51428) - you deserved it (4618)

On 06/28/2014 at 8:26pm - work - by justno - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on a date with the girl I like, to see The Fault In Our Stars. She didn't cry, but I did. Twice, hard. FML

#21187944
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46392) - you deserved it (11620)

On 06/25/2014 at 1:45pm - love - by fredfredburger (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, as a recruiter, I had an interview with a promising candidate for an open position at my company. The interview was going well until the candidate interrupted me halfway through to take a selfie. FML

#21187434
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43521) - you deserved it (3713)

On 06/25/2014 at 1:10am - work - by Sam - United States (California)

Today, I went to a seamstress to be fitted for my wedding dress and left with a pierced nipple. FML

#21187386
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44281) - you deserved it (5266)

On 06/25/2014 at 12:29am - misc - by pierced. - United States (Nevada)

Today, I lost my dog while hiking. After searching the trails for an hour and a half, he was by the car. FML

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51445) - you deserved it (4282)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my coworker was telling me about his mom, when he asked about mine. I told him that I've never met my mom, because she died during my childbirth. It's a very painful subject for me, but all the same, my coworkers have decided they'll now only address me as "Tyrion". FML

#21178277
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42802) - you deserved it (3815)

On 06/17/2014 at 4:30pm - misc - by the lannisters send their retards - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was babysitting a little girl. I let her play with a box of old Star Wars toys to keep her occupied while I quickly went to use the bathroom, and when I returned she was making the 15 or so figures have a massive orgy, sex sounds included. FML

#21171266
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41905) - you deserved it (4727)

On 06/11/2014 at 6:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I took a look at my 9-year-old daughter's diary, thinking it would be full of cute stuff. Instead, it was full of hateful rants against me and my husband, as well the boys at her school, who she called gay because none of them ever hit on her. It seems I've failed as a parent. FML

#21171186
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43629) - you deserved it (17274)

On 06/11/2014 at 5:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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