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msrachelmarie

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msrachelmarie

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  • Number of visits : 428
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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msrachelmarie's favorite FMLs

Today, I volunteered to tutor a 17-year-old girl in science. I had to explain in detail of what the real Big Bang theory was, as she only knew about the show. Later, I heard I was reported by her because apparently, "I was trying to convert her to Scientology." I now know why she needed a tutor. FML

Today, I went on a first date. Everything was going well until he asked me, "So, what's the biggest thing you've stuck up your vag?" FML

#21281604
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32764) - you deserved it (2594)

On 10/20/2014 at 5:28am - intimacy - by bye loser (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent". I got pranked by myself. FML

#21281163
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27265) - you deserved it (7023)

On 10/19/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by Deadpool434 (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I started my job selling perfume in a department store. I decided to be creative and sprayed a little perfume towards the first person who walked by. She had an allergic reaction, and an ambulance had to be called. FML

#21281002
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18510) - you deserved it (35768)

On 10/19/2014 at 10:24am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend, but I was so nervous that I had a panic attack, fainted and split my head open. My girlfriend then fainted at the sight of the blood. An onlooker had to call an ambulance for both of us. FML

#21280696
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33427) - you deserved it (3332)

On 10/18/2014 at 9:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while on vacation, my parents called to inform me that my best friend had died in a car accident. Why? To trick me into tearfully confessing my love for him. It worked. FML

#21272324
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47109) - you deserved it (3860)

On 10/06/2014 at 9:14pm - love - by whywouldyoudothat - United States (Arizona)

Today, I asked a passenger what he wanted to drink. When he said marijuana, I started making pot jokes. He really asked for mineral water. I was given a drug test when we landed. FML

#21269829
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29740) - you deserved it (10248)

On 10/02/2014 at 9:55pm - work - by stewardess - United States (Texas)

Today, my little sister had her second son. She is 31 and she named her sons after her favorite television characters, Sam and Dean Winchester. She has made it her life goal to make sure her husband never finds out. FML

#21269654
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29923) - you deserved it (3791)

On 10/02/2014 at 4:29pm - kids - by mykodu - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I thought I was finally over my anxiety problem, and confidently went to my first ever job interview. Halfway through, the manager tells me that if I didn't stop being so nervous, he couldn't give me the job. I cried. FML

#21269405
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36629) - you deserved it (4131)

On 10/02/2014 at 4:56am - work - by rejected - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I was taking a table's order. After I finished, the guy told me, "Just FYI, I'm not a tipper." Trying to lighten up the situation, I replied, "It's amazing how many people forget I handle their food." He complained to the manager that I'd threatened him. FML

#21268536
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37725) - you deserved it (7573)

On 09/30/2014 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML

#21261392
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39619) - you deserved it (3572)

On 09/19/2014 at 6:38pm - health - by tbree - United States (California)

Today, I went on a blind date. My date would respond to me by saying "retweet" and "favorite" when she thought something was relatable. FML

#21261017
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40258) - you deserved it (3510)

On 09/18/2014 at 11:15pm - love - by clairebear104 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, some assface hacked my recently deceased friend's Facebook account. The person changed my friend's location to "Hell", then posted a status saying how hot the weather was, and replied "I wish :'(" to someone who'd said my friend was in a better place now. FML

#21257037
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43152) - you deserved it (2710)

On 09/12/2014 at 5:11pm - misc - by he's not the one going to hell (man) - Australia

Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML

#21255419
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41927) - you deserved it (11673)

On 09/09/2014 at 11:16pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to find a huge zit directly between my two eyebrows. My friends have started calling me "The North Star." FML

#21253662
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34878) - you deserved it (3235)

On 09/07/2014 at 11:55am - health - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)



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