About mspoutylips : I like to kill time on FML.
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mspoutylips's favorite FMLs
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house and sat around while he played video games. He turned to me and could see I was annoyed. Then he told his friends on XBox Live that he needed a 10 minute break to have sex with me. FML
by Anonymous / 02/19/2011 at 12:22am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/04/2011 at 12:42am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/22/2010 at 8:09am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying "It's waiting for you." She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying "It's waiting for you too." FML
by Anonymous / 12/07/2010 at 1:32pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by fail / 12/05/2010 at 1:35am / United States (North Carolina) / Love
Today, I thought my house was being broken into in the dead of night. Frightened, I dismounted a floor lamp as a make-shift weapon and crept through the house, channelling my inner Ellen Ripley. It turned out to be the wireless printer with a paper jam. FML
by Anonymous / 11/15/2010 at 12:08am / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home from a four day trip. Apparently, my cat thought I was gone for good and is now very unhappy that I'm home. I know this because she has been positioning herself between me and my husband all night, and hisses every time I try to touch him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML
by JLD / 10/11/2010 at 12:34am / United States (Georgia) / Love
Today, I saw a spider crawling on my new roommate's cheek, so I told her to stand still so that I could flick it off. Several long seconds of flicking made me realize that it wasn't a spider at all. I had been flicking her hairy mole. FML
by jabba / 10/05/2010 at 5:01pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals
by canispankthat / 10/01/2010 at 7:07am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I was walking outside when I saw my best friend about 100 meters away. I began running towards her, arms flailing, screaming out a tribal battle cry. It wasn't until I was nearly on top of her that I realised it was someone else. FML
by ellinor / 09/17/2010 at 4:33pm / Sweden (Jonkopings Lan) / Miscellaneous
by itchybollos / 09/16/2010 at 5:04am / Australia / Miscellaneous
by nickim756 / 09/12/2010 at 10:29pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by Zippermania9 / 08/10/2010 at 8:14pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by toomuchlove / 08/02/2010 at 7:32pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight. Doubting our relationship, I asked him seriously if he loved me. He looked thoughtful, gathered me in his arms and said, "If I say yes, will you be less pissed?" and then tried to stick his hand down my pants. FML
by BadLuckinLove / 07/07/2010 at 6:56am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…