About mspoutylips : I like to kill time on FML.
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mspoutylips's favorite FMLs
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house and sat around while he played video games. He turned to me and could see I was annoyed. Then he told his friends on XBox Live that he needed a 10 minute break to have sex with me. FML
by Anonymous / 02/19/2011 at 12:22am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/04/2011 at 12:42am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/22/2010 at 8:09am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying "It's waiting for you." She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying "It's waiting for you too." FML
by Anonymous / 12/07/2010 at 1:32pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by fail / 12/05/2010 at 1:35am / United States (North Carolina) / Love
Today, I thought my house was being broken into in the dead of night. Frightened, I dismounted a floor lamp as a make-shift weapon and crept through the house, channelling my inner Ellen Ripley. It turned out to be the wireless printer with a paper jam. FML
by Anonymous / 11/15/2010 at 12:08am / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home from a four day trip. Apparently, my cat thought I was gone for good and is now very unhappy that I'm home. I know this because she has been positioning herself between me and my husband all night, and hisses every time I try to touch him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML
by JLD / 10/11/2010 at 12:34am / United States (Georgia) / Love
Today, I saw a spider crawling on my new roommate's cheek, so I told her to stand still so that I could flick it off. Several long seconds of flicking made me realize that it wasn't a spider at all. I had been flicking her hairy mole. FML
by jabba / 10/05/2010 at 5:01pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals
by canispankthat / 10/01/2010 at 7:07am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I was walking outside when I saw my best friend about 100 meters away. I began running towards her, arms flailing, screaming out a tribal battle cry. It wasn't until I was nearly on top of her that I realised it was someone else. FML
by ellinor / 09/17/2010 at 4:33pm / Sweden (Jonkopings Lan) / Miscellaneous
by itchybollos / 09/16/2010 at 5:04am / Australia / Miscellaneous
by nickim756 / 09/12/2010 at 10:29pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by Zippermania9 / 08/10/2010 at 8:14pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by toomuchlove / 08/02/2010 at 7:32pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight. Doubting our relationship, I asked him seriously if he loved me. He looked thoughtful, gathered me in his arms and said, "If I say yes, will you be less pissed?" and then tried to stick his hand down my pants. FML
by BadLuckinLove / 07/07/2010 at 6:56am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
- 1Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…