mspoutylips

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mspoutylips

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 30 July 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1406
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About mspoutylips : I like to kill time on FML.

mspoutylips's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 10:21am<b>scottwaite</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 3:54am<b>Camwentz</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 2:00am<b>Droneman</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 12:55am<b>Mukuro</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 7:09am<b>thatoneguy12304</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 11:08pm<b>miianah1</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 8:01pm<b>7Maverick</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 11:25pm<b>ex_omer</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 5:58am<b>hendy34</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 12:21am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 4:37pm<b>Demonking</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 6:20pm<b>golden_warrior</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 3:26pm<b>UnicornNinjas</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 10:38pm

Fucked!<b>Mukuro</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 1:09pm<b>thatoneguy12304</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 5:08am

mspoutylips's FML badges

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mspoutylips's favorite FMLs

Today, I started to fall in love with my wife again. We are in the middle of a divorce. FML

by badass / 08/13/2011 at 3:25am / United States / Love

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML

by -_- / 08/12/2011 at 8:05pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, at my job as a movie theater attendant, my boss finally eased up and let me sit in on one of the movies. One woman kept laughing out loud every other line. After ten minutes of her braying like a dying horse, I got up and had her ejected from the theater. I'm a terrible person. FML

by power corrupts... / 08/07/2011 at 4:29pm / Czech Republic (Plzensky kraj) / Work

Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML

by hero to zero / 07/04/2011 at 12:09pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I went to visit my great grandma. I saw that her dog had this red fluid on his ear, so I asked my grandma about it. She said she put red finger nail-polish in his ear so she could tell the difference between 'all' of her dogs. She only has one dog. FML

by emegemerald / 07/04/2011 at 12:13am / United States / Animals

Today, I was so hungover, I started yelling at inanimate objects. My mom walked in on me calling my cereal a "worthless piece of shit sent from the bowels of Hell." FML

by Cowgirl_Up37 / 07/02/2011 at 4:54pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML

by hadtocleanthemess / 06/28/2011 at 8:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2011 at 9:55am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML

by Anonymous / 06/26/2011 at 2:12am / United States (Indiana) / Transportation

Today, I spent fifteen minutes looking for my phone in my car before I realized I was using it as a flashlight. FML

by Username / 06/09/2011 at 2:30pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I gave a girl answers to a test. She said she would give me something pleasurable in return. She gave me a Twinkie, saying, "I know how much fat people love twinkies." FML

by pyroman1127 / 05/16/2011 at 3:34pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, as a prank, a friend and I tied a 10 dollar bill to a fishing line, and yanked it away from people as they reached for it. It was going really well until one of our victims pulled a knife and chased us around the block. FML

by Jackassed / 05/12/2011 at 1:53pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML

by Cecilly2010 / 04/28/2011 at 11:53am / Animals

Today, a kid with severe Down's came into my workplace, as he does every day. He's has an obsession with me, sitting at a table, staring and taking photos of me all day. His parents have no problem with this, because they think it's a miracle that he can focus so much attention on me for so long. FML

by notimpressed / 04/26/2011 at 3:25pm / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Miscellaneous

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Geek