Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

mspoutylips

Search for a member

mspoutylips

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 30 July 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 521
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About mspoutylips : I like to kill time on FML.

mspoutylips's page activity

Visits<b>miianah1</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 8:01pm<b>7Maverick</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 11:25pm<b>ex_omer</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 5:58am<b>hendy34</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 12:21am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 4:37pm<b>Demonking</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 6:20pm<b>golden_warrior</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 3:26pm<b>UnicornNinjas</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 10:38pm

mspoutylips's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of mspoutylips's badges

mspoutylips's favorite FMLs

Today, I started to fall in love with my wife again. We are in the middle of a divorce. FML

#17457372
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37495) - you deserved it (16339)

On 08/13/2011 at 3:25am - love - by badass - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML

#17453333
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39475) - you deserved it (4122)

On 08/12/2011 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by -_- - United States

Today, at my job as a movie theater attendant, my boss finally eased up and let me sit in on one of the movies. One woman kept laughing out loud every other line. After ten minutes of her braying like a dying horse, I got up and had her ejected from the theater. I'm a terrible person. FML

#17398453
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28234) - you deserved it (10457)

On 08/07/2011 at 4:29pm - work - by power corrupts... (woman) - Czech Republic (Plzensky kraj)

Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML

#16972351
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28688) - you deserved it (13421)

On 07/04/2011 at 12:09pm - health - by hero to zero - United States (New York)

Today, I went to visit my great grandma. I saw that her dog had this red fluid on his ear, so I asked my grandma about it. She said she put red finger nail-polish in his ear so she could tell the difference between 'all' of her dogs. She only has one dog. FML

#16967772
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28181) - you deserved it (2235)

On 07/04/2011 at 12:13am - animals - by emegemerald - United States

Today, I was so hungover, I started yelling at inanimate objects. My mom walked in on me calling my cereal a "worthless piece of shit sent from the bowels of Hell." FML

#16950938
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10208) - you deserved it (43073)

On 07/02/2011 at 4:54pm - misc - by Cowgirl_Up37 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML

#16895004
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29717) - you deserved it (3757)

On 06/28/2011 at 8:35am - animals - by hadtocleanthemess (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML

#16879378
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60392) - you deserved it (7438)

On 06/27/2011 at 9:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML

#16860650
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38749) - you deserved it (15595)

On 06/26/2011 at 2:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I spent fifteen minutes looking for my phone in my car before I realized I was using it as a flashlight. FML

#16579288
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14477) - you deserved it (55602)

On 06/09/2011 at 2:30pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I gave a girl answers to a test. She said she would give me something pleasurable in return. She gave me a Twinkie, saying, "I know how much fat people love twinkies." FML

#16207509
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25261) - you deserved it (34716)

On 05/16/2011 at 3:34pm - misc - by pyroman1127 - United States (Utah)

Today, as a prank, a friend and I tied a 10 dollar bill to a fishing line, and yanked it away from people as they reached for it. It was going really well until one of our victims pulled a knife and chased us around the block. FML

#16144015
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13173) - you deserved it (52546)

On 05/12/2011 at 1:53pm - misc - by Jackassed - United States (New York)

Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML

#15962479
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44288) - you deserved it (4759)

On 04/28/2011 at 11:53am - animals - by Cecilly2010 -

Today, a kid with severe Down's came into my workplace, as he does every day. He's has an obsession with me, sitting at a table, staring and taking photos of me all day. His parents have no problem with this, because they think it's a miracle that he can focus so much attention on me for so long. FML

#15935397
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34420) - you deserved it (5925)

On 04/26/2011 at 3:25pm - misc - by notimpressed (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36694) - you deserved it (31277)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)



FML's blog

  • AD_e's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang ! It's Friday once more and time for us to go on a magical mystery tour around the brain of yet another illustrator. This week, things have happened around the world that were so depressing, I don't…

Monday 18 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: