About mspoutylips : I like to kill time on FML.
Profile completed
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, while spooning my spouse, I was awakened in the wee hours by a huge, junk-rattling fart. This has happened numerous times since she became a vegetarian. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22714) - you deserved it (2495)
On 11/02/2011 at 1:06am - misc - by steve-o - United States
Today, while parking, I accidentally hit my landlord's daughter's brand new car. I made a huge dent in the side door. I thought nobody was home, so I quickly went to my room. Turns out they were having a barbecue outside and saw the whole thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5184) - you deserved it (32363)
On 10/31/2011 at 4:30am - misc - by j3r3zana16 (woman) - Canada
Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (14284) - you deserved it (40968) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Virginiedetibo - France
Today, I had to escort some dumbass teenager from Home Depot after I found him masturbating in one of the model washrooms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30766) - you deserved it (2104)
On 10/14/2011 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Reserved
Today, after getting dumped by my boyfriend, I tried to find comfort in one of my closest friends. He embraced me while I struggled against tears, and after a few moments of silence said, "Hey, you know what? I would fuck you anytime. Anytime." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25919) - you deserved it (6929)
On 10/13/2011 at 3:19am - intimacy - by scewable (woman) - United States (California)
Today, a highly intoxicated man came into my workplace and complained that the medicine that I'd prescribed for his dog almost choked him. I work at Blockbuster. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21407) - you deserved it (1520)
On 10/09/2011 at 11:30pm - work - by Username - United States (Texas)
Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive mother-in-law came up. He assured me he'd talk to her and straighten things out. Apparently this means posting on her Facebook wall threatening to "pimp-slap a bitch" if she doesn't get her "fat ass out of family business". FML
I agree, your life sucks (19513) - you deserved it (2292)
On 10/07/2011 at 10:40pm - misc - by ...... (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26103) - you deserved it (4336)
On 09/15/2011 at 3:34am - health - by Scott - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend proposed by painting his chest with "marry me?" and an arrow going down. The ring was attached to his penis with a string. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34227) - you deserved it (4751)
On 09/14/2011 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by ohmaigawd (woman) - Argentina
Today, my grandmother pulled down her pants and screamed, "Kiss my ass" in the middle of a packed restaurant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24887) - you deserved it (2405)
On 09/05/2011 at 9:00am - misc - by Brie - United States (Georgia)
Today, my grandmother pulled down her pants and screamed, "Kiss my ass" in the middle of a packed restaurant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24887) - you deserved it (2405)
On 09/05/2011 at 9:00am - misc - by Brie - United States (Georgia)
Today, I got my first handjob. She ripped out a pube. It hurt so bad my eyes teared up. She asked what was wrong and not wanting to make her feel guilty I had to tell her it was "Just so good." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28906) - you deserved it (7064)
On 09/04/2011 at 5:36am - intimacy - by southernluxe - United States
Today, my grandmother refused to wear clothes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23194) - you deserved it (1604)
On 09/01/2011 at 1:29am - misc - by bob - United States
Today, I wanted to show my teenage daughter what we did when I was her age. We used to breakdance, so I stuck on a Grandmaster Flash track, and tried some old moves on the living room floor. I spun out of control, smacked my head into a wall and pulled a back muscle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8777) - you deserved it (31519)
On 08/19/2011 at 3:13am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, the guy at Subway asked if I wanted to make my sandwich a footlong. I'm not sure what came over me, but before I realized what I was saying, I'd told him that I couldn't handle 12 inches. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20663) - you deserved it (6989)
On 08/14/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by Username - United States (New York)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
