This member hasn't filled in their description.
mschmuty's FML badges
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
mschmuty's favorite FMLs
Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML
by Zekrome / 05/05/2014 at 3:53am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by melmel / 05/05/2014 at 1:07am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML
by Flip / 05/02/2012 at 1:06am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Love
Today, my boyfriend was inside a cell phone store talking to a sales guy while I waited outside. I sent him a text, not realizing that the guy was using his phone to call customer service. A topless photo of me shows up on his phone when I text him. The sales guy looked. Twice. FML
by LLCoolBean / 03/03/2011 at 3:32am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, my cousin told me that the stop signs outlined with a white line were optional. Later, a cop pulled me over, when I asked why he said, "You ran that stop sign back there." I explained what my cousin had told me and he looked at me funny and replied, "All stop signs have a white outline." FML
by Anonymous / 07/08/2009 at 9:34pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous
- « Previous page
- Next page »
- Today, my girlfriend said she would give my penis a name: Gonzales. I asked why she wanted to name… Today, I was riding the subway when a beautiful topless girl walked into my car and sat directly in… Today, I had to convince my husband that I'm not having an affair all because I refused to have sex…