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About msDiamonds : The chick that has great advice, yet her life's a mess. That's me! Lol just hoping other people's bad days can make nine seem better.
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Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today , I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined , an I had to stand an watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was ( God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking. ) fat FML
Today, at karate, sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML
Today, Mah Math Teacher Raged At A Student Fir Eating An Apple In Class. As He Yelled At The Student, He Slapped The Apple Out Of His Hand And Right Into Mah Face. Everyone Laughed, Including The Teacher. FML
Today, I was in a bathroom stall an I accidentally dropped mah new tampon on the ground . Just as I was about to reach for looool it, I heard a voice on the other side of the stall say, "Oh great, I needed that" an then a hand reached under mah stall an grabbed it . It was mah last one .
Today, I downloadd an application that notifies me when my phone is fully chargd. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I pluggd the charger in and went to bd. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML
Today, I missd my flight because I was held in arport security because I'd "threatend" an employee. He had confiscatd my eyelash curler and jokingly I askd if he thought I was going to curl him to death. He didn't laugh. FML
Today, my girlfriend an I were playfully arguing about wo loved te oter more. After about a minute of tis, my girlfriend walked over an kicked me in te crotc as ard as se could. Se ten said, "Tere, now you don't love me as muc. I win." FML
Today, I was expecting a very important work call. Today was also the day I got insuppressible diarrhea. As I was running to the washroom, the phone rang. I didn't make it to the washroom or the phone. FML
Today, I cummed home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read ( Because you can't find a real girl, I made yur current one prettier, Love Mom. ) FML
Today..!! mah boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed..!! naked!! Someone pulled the fire alarm..!! and mah boyfriend couldn't find the key!! So he left me..!! and the Resident Advisor found me!! The fireman had to cut the chain!! FML
Friday 27 March 2015