About mrtjawesome : I am a folkstyle and freestyle wrestler, and am an agriculture specialist, if you want to know about me, i am relaxed usually and believe in the statement "the solution to everything is to work harder." I am a gamer in part and hard worker in another. Lifting weights is also a part of my schedule, as well as shooting sports.
mrtjawesome's FML badges
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
You’ve watched 5 FML videos on the website, and commented on them.
mrtjawesome's favorite FMLs
Today, my wife and I went to our friend's house to play some pool. While playing, a Cicada started to fly towards my face, so I flipped my pool stick over and swatted at it with the fat end of the stick. I hit the bug. However, with the skinny side I hit myself in the snow-globes. FML
by Chris / 04/04/2012 at 10:50pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, I started my brand new job. I was late because while repairing my favorite pair of high heels, I got superglue in my eye. They had to scrape my cornea and I have to wear an eye patch. I'm now the "new pirate" in the office. FML
by Anonymous / 04/04/2012 at 9:41pm / United States (Georgia) / Work
Today, I was so baked out of my mind that I argued with my parakeet over who farted. I could be wrong, but I think I lost the argument. Worse still, my boyfriend had been standing in the doorway long enough to hear everything, even me farting. FML
by woohoo420 / 04/04/2012 at 12:14pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Telemarket / 04/04/2012 at 6:58am / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Miscellaneous
Today, I'm recovering from colon surgery. They gave me codeine as pain relief, which has made me constipated. I'm currently sat on the toilet, trying to push out what feels like a small child wrapped in barbed wire out without busting my stitches. FML
by screaming monkey / 04/04/2012 at 6:13am / United Kingdom (Windsor and Maidenhead) / Health
Today, I had to call the Australian Passport office to track my passport. Turns out they lost it in the mail. A week ago, I got my dream job as a flight attendant. Without a passport they won't accept me. I lost my dream job before I even started it. FML
by Anonymous / 04/04/2012 at 3:51am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work
Today, depressed about a recent break-up with my long-term boyfriend, I bought a book about moving on after a relationship ends. The cashier placed some standard promotional fliers in my bag during check-out. Once home, I pulled out the fliers. They were for a married couples retreat. FML
by heartsick / 04/04/2012 at 1:43am / United States (Iowa) / Love
by Anonymous / 04/04/2012 at 12:48am / United States / Miscellaneous
by gaagaa / 04/03/2012 at 11:53pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I noticed a strange lady following me around in the mall. After a while I began to get creeped out, so I confronted her. Apparently she has to make sure everything she buys is better than what I buy. After a long silence she said, "What? You never noticed me before?" FML
by Eliza / 04/03/2012 at 11:40pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Scarred / 04/03/2012 at 11:27pm / United States (Michigan) / Animals
by Ralph / 04/03/2012 at 11:02pm / United States (North Carolina) / Health
by potatoebee / 04/03/2012 at 2:19pm / United States (South Carolina) / Kids
Today, I posted on Facebook saying I'm in a new relationship. One of my buddies said, "You're cheating on Jill?" My girlfriend saw this and went completely nuts, not giving me a chance to explain that "Jill" is just a euphemism for your hand. FML
by jackmehoffa / 04/03/2012 at 2:10pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
Today, I went to McDonalds and ordered a happy meal with a girl's toy. The high school girls behind the counter said I was too old to be served one, and I had to go home and explain to my sick daughter why she didn't get her toy. FML
by Anonymous / 04/03/2012 at 1:48pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
- Today, things started to heat up in the bedroom. Not in a sexual way, though; the lamp caught fire.… Today, being useless at thinking of gifts, I asked my boyfriend what he wants for Christmas. I said… Today, my dad told me he had been seeing someone for a while and has decided to marry her. When I…