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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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mrstomkaulitz

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mrstomkaulitz
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 464
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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mrstomkaulitz's FML badges

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mrstomkaulitz's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML

#14244389 (94)

I agree, your life sucks (23773) - you deserved it (2727)

On 12/18/2010 at 4:11am - love - by anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, while on my honeymoon with my new wife, I tried to be romantic by installing a clapper to the lights in our room. As things progressed, the noise of our love making triggered the lights on and off repeatedly. She began to laugh and we ended up just calling it an early night. FML

#14234823 (134)

I agree, your life sucks (21945) - you deserved it (9363)

On 12/17/2010 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my toddler stood up in the shopping cart and fell giving himself a black eye. Later while at a restaurant he tried to stand up in his highchair. I quickly blurted out "Sit down! Do you want another one of those?" while pointing at his eye. Now the waiter wont stop glaring at me. FML

#14209243 (110)

I agree, your life sucks (29755) - you deserved it (7069)

On 12/15/2010 at 12:42am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, while I was working at McDonald's, a man and his wife ordered a Sundae. I gave the guy his sundae and realized I'd forgotten something. I said, "One second sir. Let me grab your nuts." I realized what I said when his wife gave me the death glare. FML

#14169295 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (22009) - you deserved it (5923)

On 12/11/2010 at 7:06pm - work - by stifledbyyou (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML

#14164412 (243)

I agree, your life sucks (26776) - you deserved it (45858)

On 12/11/2010 at 9:44am - kids - by parentfail (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, while driving home, I was so lonely I turned on my GPS, even though I knew the way, so it would feel like I had someone to talk to. It made me feel better. FML

#13854444 (150)

I agree, your life sucks (26319) - you deserved it (4422)

On 11/15/2010 at 4:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, it was my dad's birthday. As a joke, I got him one of those big erasers that say, "FOR BIG MISTAKES." He opened it, tried to erase me with it, then said, "It doesn't work." and left. FML

#13481671 (134)

I agree, your life sucks (14078) - you deserved it (17280)

On 10/17/2010 at 2:28am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I heard two of my students having a conversation. One asked what state Arizona was in, and the other replied Canada. I teach sixth grade social studies and they weren't joking. FML

#12837057 (311)

I agree, your life sucks (24180) - you deserved it (5702)

On 08/31/2010 at 10:50am - kids - by teacher (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my dad walked in on me singing "Bohemian Rhapsody", while spinning in circles with the cat in my arms. I thought I was home alone. FML

#12797830 (167)

I agree, your life sucks (8533) - you deserved it (17029)

On 08/29/2010 at 12:54am - animals - by Hobbsie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me over breakfast. In the afternoon I got to smile at him prettily for hours because he was the photographer in a session neither of us could get out of. FML

#12677890 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (22220) - you deserved it (1872)

On 08/22/2010 at 3:24am - love - by lee (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I fell down the stairs while reading the 'mind your step' sign. FML

#12606847 (200)

I agree, your life sucks (17484) - you deserved it (9548)

On 08/18/2010 at 3:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)

Today, I turned the shower on the hottest setting so it would warm up quickly. I started to sing and dance around the bathroom. I got too carried away and pelvic thrusted the water, which I hadn't turned back down. FML

#12513717 (184)

I agree, your life sucks (4819) - you deserved it (30034)

On 08/14/2010 at 2:27am - health - by Fire_Crotch (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my youngest son thought that RedBull actually gave him wings. What it actually gave him was a trip to the ER and 7 stitches. It also gave me a meeting with social services. FML

#11493383 (258)

I agree, your life sucks (32425) - you deserved it (5416)

On 06/27/2010 at 9:30am - kids - by DaddyZ (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized that not only am I still an unpublished author, but I can't even get an FML posted after submitting several in the last year. FML

#9042400 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (23353) - you deserved it (4717)

On 03/13/2010 at 8:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which my boyfriend of 8 months shot me through the heart whilst laughing as I screamed 'I Love You'. After I told him about this, he took me into his arms as I cried, stroked my back and said, 'What kind of gun was it?' FML

#9019177 (291)

I agree, your life sucks (21169) - you deserved it (4688)

On 03/12/2010 at 8:17am - love - by justlittleoldme (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)