mrslewis

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Offline (the 06/10/2015 at 5:56am)

mrslewis

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3351
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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mrslewis's page activity

Visits<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 2:47pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 2:49pm<b>KhaleesiDannie</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 4:34pm<b>yenze</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 4:47pm<b>vet1</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 11:45pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 3:01am<b>duma191</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 3:18am<b>kindleh09</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 7:21pm<b>boultzboi</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 9:12pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 1:33am<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 12:53pm<b>earlybird69</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 11:03am<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 4:09pm<b>maytylar</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 3:41pm<b>duffmani</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 3:36pm<b>Matheo</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 3:26pm<b>baseball27LD</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 1:56pm<b>strangenesslover</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 10:10am

Fucked!<b>vet1</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 5:46am<b>boultzboi</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 3:12am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 7:33am<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 10:09pm<b>duffmani</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 9:36pm<b>Matheo</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 9:27pm<b>baseball27LD</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 7:56pm

mrslewis's FML badges

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The Mixer

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mrslewis's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my friend's house for the first time. As I was pulling up, I called him and asked him if I could use his bathroom. He told me to just go in the back and use it, so i did. As i'm sitting on the toilet, someone knocks on the door and asks me who I am. It wasn't my friend's house. FML

by whitewater_al / 07/10/2009 at 5:22pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was in my new boyfriend's apartment for the first time. As I was flipping through his photo albums, I came across one full of disturbingly candid pictures of me. I found some as early as my trip to the state fair, three years ago. I met my boyfriend two months ago. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2009 at 3:18pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally got the courage to tell my parents that I'm gay. My mom said "Yeah, we know." When I asked how they knew, my dad, without looking up from the tv, said, "We've been monitoring your Internet history." FML

by Asterisk1009 / 06/29/2009 at 1:41am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend told me that semen was inflammable. Later at night I jacked off into a sock and then, excitedly, tried to lit the sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very much not inflammable. Naked, I shook my sock in the air so it would extinguish while my semen splashed out all over my room. FML

by notinflammable / 06/27/2009 at 12:41am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, I am currently grounded for three weeks, have no car, cell phone, or television privileges, and am not allowed to spend more than 10 minutes on the computer a day. The reason why: I was seven minutes past my 9'oclock curfew. I'm 18. FML

by creeped_out_ / 06/24/2009 at 5:34pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML

by ....... / 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I had a bath in the bathroom we are currently renovating. There's a big hole in the middle of the floor. When I got out of the bath, I swung one leg across the gap to get a towel from the rack. I drew back my leg and looked down to see my brother's hot friend staring up at me in horror. FML

by ilikeirishducks / 06/19/2009 at 9:51am / Italy / Miscellaneous

Today, as my boyfriend and I were messing around in his room he took off my underwear. As he was about to go down on me I spread my legs to help out then he looked up at me and said, "You got some toilet paper left behind." FML

by BarbieKen / 06/14/2009 at 12:14am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, as my boyfriend and I were messing around in his room he took off my underwear. As he was about to go down on me I spread my legs to help out then he looked up at me and said, "You got some toilet paper left behind." FML

by BarbieKen / 06/14/2009 at 12:14am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I made a patient really happy. I work in a long term care facility and was changing a woman's diaper. While cleaning her, I somehow managed to give her an orgasm with a warm wash cloth. FML

by Anonymous / 06/13/2009 at 2:40am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

by NoBalls / 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation

Today, I took a test as part of a job requirement. I took a sip from a bottle of juice, and the lady leading the test gave me a warning. I tried to explain that if I didn't, I would faint. She took the bottle and hid it. 15 minutes later I collapsed. She thought I was faking. I'm hypoglycemic. FML

by Casey / 06/11/2009 at 8:59am / Health

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

by badmom / 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

by badmom / 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, I found out just how thin the walls at my new student flat are. They are so thin in fact, that I can hear the creepy guy next door say my full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML

by SleepyKirsty / 06/09/2009 at 9:36am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Intimacy