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Today, I discovered that my mom is having an affair... with her cousin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46718) - you deserved it (2958)
On 08/05/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Drew - United States (Texas)
Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. While I was asleep, he drew a face on my stomach and when I woke up he was talking to it. He said it would be less weird if he was talking to my stomach with a face on it, representing the baby. According to him, our child is going to have a mustache. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14729) - you deserved it (18242)
On 06/14/2010 at 7:13pm - kids - by gibsonSG323 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, fifteen minutes after dinner was served, my blind date says "It's good that you're smart. Not to be rude, but most girls aren't. I mean, at some point, I'm going to pull my dick out of your mouth and then it's good if you have something interesting to say." Check please. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34457) - you deserved it (7049)
On 04/05/2010 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Hate2Date (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I found out how mature the guy I'm seeing is. After sex, he took the condom off and hit me in the face with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20917) - you deserved it (4519)
On 03/07/2010 at 9:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, a man I don't know came up to me and started screaming about how "all you damn Mexicans were stealing American's jobs" and he stormed off. I'm Native American, and I'm pretty sure we've been here longer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41885) - you deserved it (3028)
On 01/21/2010 at 7:45pm - misc - by hardtotell (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42743) - you deserved it (6374)
On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my boyfriend took me to meet his friends at one of his exclusive "clubs." Expecting it to be his old friends from college, I agreed to go. Apparently, I've been dating a member of the Ku Klux Klan for 2 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53900) - you deserved it (6264)
On 01/16/2010 at 4:24pm - love - by Awkward (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27909) - you deserved it (2492)
On 01/16/2010 at 3:19pm - health - by dire-rear (woman) - Singapore
Today, after months of trying, my wife of seven years told me she is finally pregnant. I'm going to be an uncle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53313) - you deserved it (2576)
On 01/06/2010 at 10:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, the guy I like called me, and my mom picked up. Just as it happened I slipped and fell in the shower and was sitting there moaning. The guy asked if he could speak to me, but my mom heard me and answered "Well, she is masturbating right now, but I'll tell her to call you later!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (18909) - you deserved it (1878)
On 12/28/2009 at 7:48pm - intimacy - by notexactly (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, I found out the gift card my friend gave me for Christmas actually has no money on it and was never purchased in the first place. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19499) - you deserved it (1403)
On 12/26/2009 at 3:48pm - misc - by DeannaMarie - United States (Florida)
Today, I had two surprises for my boyfriend who was at work. One was a dessert and the other was sexy lingerie. He chose the dessert. Then told me I was an idiot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12137) - you deserved it (3168)
On 12/26/2009 at 2:22am - intimacy - by boyfriendisatoss (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I sent my resume to a place where I hoped to work at. Since the job requires me to be doing work on the run, I put on it that I have a laptop. The only problem is that I always thought it was "labtop." I didn't learn the correct spelling until my daughter called me an idiot, she's 6. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4595) - you deserved it (27281)
On 12/21/2009 at 2:04am - work - by eliteslayer29 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20547) - you deserved it (5202)
On 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was studying for one of my finals that I had later in the week but decided to take a break and play around with my boyfriend in bed for a couple hours. We decided to 69 for the first time, and everything was going great until out of nowhere, I loudly farted in his face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17022) - you deserved it (8073)
On 12/14/2009 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by Gassy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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