Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

mrslewis

Search for a member

mrslewis
  • Town/Country : israel
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 789
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

mrslewis's last visitors

Larissa24VVasquezsoccerforlife_27Jamerina3BellaBelleHarshdfmlw0o0admoran20

mrslewis's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of mrslewis's badges

mrslewis's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to be adventurous and give my boyfriend head in the downstairs tv room. Just as he was about to cum I heard someone walking towards the door. I took my mouth off to get up and lock the door just as he came. Didn't make it to the door but my dad saw something he will never forget. FML

#13571310
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10101) - you deserved it (33840)

On 10/24/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by stickyface (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I found out my older brother put tanning lotion in the lotion I use to masturbate with. Now I have orange palms and an orange penis which won't go away for weeks. FML

#13278835
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16550) - you deserved it (40053)

On 10/01/2010 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by caughtorangehanded (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, someone whistled, so I turned around. The guy behind me then said: "Did you seriously think that it was meant for you?" FML

#13017861
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31720) - you deserved it (4192)

On 09/12/2010 at 10:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, my boyfriend told everyone I queef during sex. Even his parents are calling me "Cooter Pooter." FML

#12816242
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32478) - you deserved it (6108)

On 08/30/2010 at 2:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I walked in on my mom giving my dad head. Acting like I hadn't seen anything, I asked if I could use a towel sitting on the dresser. My mom said, "No, we're going to need that one." FML

#12803986
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25522) - you deserved it (5184)

On 08/29/2010 at 11:37am - intimacy - by bkay26 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

#12677495
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39216) - you deserved it (11945)

On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

#12663575
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44031) - you deserved it (14244)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I discovered that my mom is having an affair... with her cousin. FML

#12322753
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50907) - you deserved it (3657)

On 08/05/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Drew - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. While I was asleep, he drew a face on my stomach and when I woke up he was talking to it. He said it would be less weird if he was talking to my stomach with a face on it, representing the baby. According to him, our child is going to have a mustache. FML

#11198427
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17819) - you deserved it (24121)

On 06/14/2010 at 7:13pm - kids - by gibsonSG323 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, fifteen minutes after dinner was served, my blind date says "It's good that you're smart. Not to be rude, but most girls aren't. I mean, at some point, I'm going to pull my dick out of your mouth and then it's good if you have something interesting to say." Check please. FML

#9643258
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35339) - you deserved it (7089)

On 04/05/2010 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Hate2Date (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I found out how mature the guy I'm seeing is. After sex, he took the condom off and hit me in the face with it. FML

#8889344
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21565) - you deserved it (4565)

On 03/07/2010 at 9:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, a man I don't know came up to me and started screaming about how "all you damn Mexicans were stealing American's jobs" and he stormed off. I'm Native American, and I'm pretty sure we've been here longer. FML

#7482237
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47060) - you deserved it (3732)

On 01/21/2010 at 7:45pm - misc - by hardtotell (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

#7420693
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46054) - you deserved it (7426)

On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend took me to meet his friends at one of his exclusive "clubs." Expecting it to be his old friends from college, I agreed to go. Apparently, I've been dating a member of the Ku Klux Klan for 2 years. FML

#7380749
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55904) - you deserved it (6391)

On 01/16/2010 at 4:24pm - love - by Awkward (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML

#7379683
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28533) - you deserved it (2532)

On 01/16/2010 at 3:19pm - health - by dire-rear (woman) - Singapore



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: