This member hasn't filled in the description.
Profile completed
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, my younger brother decided it would be funny to put rubbing alcohol in my contact lens case while I had them soaking overnight. I didn't realize this until I put the first one in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28435) - you deserved it (1422)
On 09/19/2011 at 1:03am - misc - by redeye (woman) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, my little brother proudly informed me that he found a way to suck pool water up his asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27200) - you deserved it (2045)
On 08/16/2011 at 2:22am - kids - by Gross... (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was complimented on how big my penis was. I was complimented by the guy peeing next to me in the men's restroom at McDonald's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40461) - you deserved it (6546)
On 06/22/2011 at 4:13am - intimacy - by fmlguy382 - United States
Today, I was using the restroom when a little girl tried to open my stall. It was locked, so she slid under the door and tried to have a conversation with me while I was pooping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34296) - you deserved it (2635)
On 06/20/2011 at 6:42pm - misc - by shyshy96679 - United States
Today, I had to pick my parents up from jail. They thought it would be okay to have sex behind a bush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40044) - you deserved it (3367)
On 06/20/2011 at 11:57am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Texas)
Today, my husband bought me a bouquet of roses. They caused me to sneeze seven times in a row. That was the closest he's ever got me to an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30149) - you deserved it (6161)
On 06/20/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)
Today, my five year old daughter asked me what a divorce was. When I asked why she wanted to know, she replied with "Daddy wants one. He says you can have me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (54700) - you deserved it (2833)
On 06/05/2011 at 1:17am - love - by dumped - United States (Utah)
Today, I skipped school and stayed home without telling my parents. My mom came home on her lunch break with another man, and had sex in our living room. I'm stuck in my room, listening to my mom cheat on my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (90750) - you deserved it (9938)
On 05/14/2011 at 7:15am - intimacy - by ali grace - United States (Texas)
Today, I got back from vacation and walked in on my boyfriend and my brother in my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (91102) - you deserved it (6398)
On 04/03/2011 at 4:06am - intimacy - by Now Single - Reserved
Today, I got 2 creams for a skin condition. The one for my face says "Don't expose skin to sun after use of this product". The one for the rest of my body says "This product relies on exposure to the sun". In other words, I have to be outside as much as I can, naked and with a box on my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27597) - you deserved it (4809)
On 03/25/2011 at 8:22am - health - by FromNL (man) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)
Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14052) - you deserved it (64600)
On 03/17/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I found out that the candy bracelet my sister gave me a few days ago was actually a candy cock ring she'd used on her boyfriend just a few hours prior. Apparently, she didn't like the taste. I however, did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30790) - you deserved it (3412)
On 02/14/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)
Today, my boyfriend woke me up by playing with the string of my tampon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36959) - you deserved it (4694)
On 02/13/2011 at 4:32am - intimacy - by Eva - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was fingering me. After he left, my mum says to me "I wish my sex life was as interesting as yours." She had walked in and we hadn't even noticed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25514) - you deserved it (8728)
On 01/20/2011 at 4:39am - intimacy - by saddened97 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10776) - you deserved it (27392) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
