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mrslewis

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mrslewis
  • Town/Country : israel
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 788
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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mrslewis's favorite FMLs

Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML

#18418543
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50961) - you deserved it (5171) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/03/2011 at 11:24am - kids - by perenoel - France

Today, while cuddling up on the couch with my boyfriend, I asked him if this was his happy place too. He said, "Nah, it's in pussies." FML

#18165328
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27720) - you deserved it (8938)

On 11/05/2011 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by whatadisappointmnet (woman) - United States

Today, at work, my mouse cursor kept randomly moving all over the screen, and messed up an entire day's attempted work. As I was leaving, I overheard one of my co-workers saying he'd plugged a wireless mouse adapter into my computer, and had been trolling me all day. FML

#18156228
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31880) - you deserved it (3751)

On 11/04/2011 at 12:05pm - work - by tech_support (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, at work I asked a cute, albeit slightly large customer, her name. Being hard of hearing, I thought she said "Porky" and asked her about it. Turns out she'd said Courtney. FML

#18136317
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20140) - you deserved it (7107)

On 11/02/2011 at 3:12am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML

#18051286
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39426) - you deserved it (18404)

On 10/23/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by canucks_chick - Canada

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

#18039986
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15113) - you deserved it (28074)

On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my younger brother decided it would be funny to put rubbing alcohol in my contact lens case while I had them soaking overnight. I didn't realize this until I put the first one in. FML

#17777792
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32847) - you deserved it (1889)

On 09/19/2011 at 1:03am - misc - by redeye (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

#17638273
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31999) - you deserved it (4152)

On 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by mannydanny (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, my little brother proudly informed me that he found a way to suck pool water up his asshole. FML

#17487267
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30953) - you deserved it (2679)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:22am - kids - by Gross... (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was complimented on how big my penis was. I was complimented by the guy peeing next to me in the men's restroom at McDonald's. FML

#16794914
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44044) - you deserved it (6900)

On 06/22/2011 at 4:13am - intimacy - by fmlguy382 - United States

Today, I was using the restroom when a little girl tried to open my stall. It was locked, so she slid under the door and tried to have a conversation with me while I was pooping. FML

#16767931
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36098) - you deserved it (3158)

On 06/20/2011 at 6:42pm - misc - by shyshy96679 - United States

Today, I had to pick my parents up from jail. They thought it would be okay to have sex behind a bush. FML

#16761961
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44345) - you deserved it (3683)

On 06/20/2011 at 11:57am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband bought me a bouquet of roses. They caused me to sneeze seven times in a row. That was the closest he's ever got me to an orgasm. FML

#16757067
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34646) - you deserved it (7608)

On 06/20/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my five year old daughter asked me what a divorce was. When I asked why she wanted to know, she replied with "Daddy wants one. He says you can have me." FML

#16508942
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60527) - you deserved it (3538)

On 06/05/2011 at 1:17am - love - by dumped - United States (Utah)

Today, I skipped school and stayed home without telling my parents. My mom came home on her lunch break with another man, and had sex in our living room. I'm stuck in my room, listening to my mom cheat on my dad. FML

#16168666
372 comments

I agree, your life sucks (102964) - you deserved it (13930)

On 05/14/2011 at 7:15am - intimacy - by ali grace - United States (Texas)



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