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mrslewis

Offline (the 11/21/2014 at 4:04pm) | Search for a member

mrslewis

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1225
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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mrslewis's page activity

Visits<b>Colorcoded</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 2:09am<b>barneystinson45</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 10:14am<b>w0o0a</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 2:12pm<b>cwl727</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 7:50pm<b>msmama1985</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 11:09pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 3:14pm<b>VVasquez</b> - the 06/13/2013 at 7:28pm<b>soccerforlife_27</b> - the 06/13/2013 at 5:10pm<b>Jamerina3</b> - the 05/24/2013 at 4:07pm<b>BellaBelle</b> - the 05/23/2013 at 5:48pm<b>Harshdfml</b> - the 05/17/2013 at 5:01pm<b>dmoran20</b> - the 04/08/2013 at 5:11pm<b>StevenBrowne</b> - the 10/26/2012 at 11:54am

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mrslewis's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML

#126669
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (122527) - you deserved it (22221)

On 02/24/2009 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while working on a medical school application, I asked my mom what she thought my greatest challenge in life had been. She replied : "Trying to lose your virginity." FML

#122918
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73338) - you deserved it (5953)

On 02/24/2009 at 1:16pm - intimacy - by Dr. Virgin (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I accidentally walked in on my girlfriend masturbating so I said to her, "Need a hand with that?" to which she replied "I'm doing fine here on my own, don't ruin it." FML

#112379
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85879) - you deserved it (21417)

On 02/23/2009 at 8:14am - intimacy - by Anonn (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I'm playing basketball with my little brother. After jokingly blocking his shot, he turns to me and says "You're a bitch." He's 6. After asking where he heard that word, he responded with "Daddy calls you that when you're not around." FML

#112335
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (143989) - you deserved it (11839)

On 02/23/2009 at 7:51am - kids - by lifesucks4me - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I arrived at my parents house for dinner. When I got there, I noticed that they had gay pride flags hanging from the porch, and gay rights bumper stickers plastered to their cars. There was also a huge "We accept you, Nick" banner hanging from the garage. I'M NOT GAY! FML

#108815
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84340) - you deserved it (5632)

On 02/22/2009 at 10:04pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25 cents short of the fare. I walked home in the rain. FML

#97632
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (265126) - you deserved it (59776)

On 02/21/2009 at 5:11pm - love - by GD (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was doing a strip tease for my husband. He asked me to stop. FML

#84789
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84634) - you deserved it (17662)

On 02/20/2009 at 12:06am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I visited my brother in jail for the first time. I didn't know what to say so I blurted out : "Are you having fun ?" FML

#76277
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11642) - you deserved it (45114)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:06am - misc - by cynicalcindy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was masturbating on my inflatable air mattress that squeaks when you move. Suddenly, my mom busted in my room to ask if I'm okay because she thought the squeaking was my crying. I ripped my hands from my pants and turned on my side; she walked over and grabbed my hands to console me. FML

#70419
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24478) - you deserved it (57452)

On 02/18/2009 at 6:01pm - intimacy - by dirtyhands (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
507 comments

I agree, your life sucks (236436) - you deserved it (82023)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
507 comments

I agree, your life sucks (236436) - you deserved it (82023)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML

#32415
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82919) - you deserved it (10968)

On 02/12/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by janedoe (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I drove my girlfriend home around 11 to her garage where we start to have sex. When she comes to climax she slips and hits her head. Her parents heard the crash and came down, we were both still naked and she was unconscious. FML

#18143
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86712) - you deserved it (18141)

On 02/09/2009 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by douglisk1994 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML

#12567
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (283617) - you deserved it (51955)

On 02/06/2009 at 10:55pm - misc - by hahahehehohohoo (woman) - United States (California)



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