Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

mrslewis

Offline (yesterday at 1:43pm) | Search for a member

mrslewis

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1073
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

mrslewis's page activity

Visits<b>cwl727</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 7:50pm<b>msmama1985</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 11:09pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 3:14pm<b>VVasquez</b> - the 06/13/2013 at 7:28pm<b>soccerforlife_27</b> - the 06/13/2013 at 5:10pm<b>Jamerina3</b> - the 05/24/2013 at 4:07pm<b>BellaBelle</b> - the 05/23/2013 at 5:48pm<b>Harshdfml</b> - the 05/17/2013 at 5:01pm<b>w0o0a</b> - the 05/17/2013 at 12:36pm<b>dmoran20</b> - the 04/08/2013 at 5:11pm<b>StevenBrowne</b> - the 10/26/2012 at 11:54am

mrslewis's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of mrslewis's badges

mrslewis's favorite FMLs

Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML

#19926709
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32604) - you deserved it (4115)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I heard a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I discovered my husband, naked and with his pants around his ankles, standing in the bathtub and pointing at a cockroach on the ground. After disposing of the body, I had to stay and comfort him while he wiped his ass. FML

#19919285
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26588) - you deserved it (2986)

On 07/10/2012 at 3:33pm - misc - by I_Has_A_Fishy - United States (Texas)

Today, I was having sex with my wife, when she fell asleep. She then woke up and started moaning, clearly faking an orgasm. FML

#19784539
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27879) - you deserved it (6635)

On 06/13/2012 at 10:21pm - intimacy - by biggieT - Sri Lanka (Western)

Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game on my iPhone with his penis. FML

#19781755
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30603) - you deserved it (4623)

On 06/13/2012 at 12:07pm - intimacy - by Rosie (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, after a surprise candlelit dinner and a two bottles of wine for my birthday, my boyfriend and I decided to take a sexy shower together. It ended with us both drunk, naked, and crying, wedged into a small tub together, talking about our dead pets. FML

#19702897
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30630) - you deserved it (7420)

On 05/30/2012 at 1:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 14-year-old brother told me he needed help with something "very personal." Thinking he wanted girlfriend advice or something, I said, "Sure, no problem". He wanted me to shave his butt crack. FML

#19700460
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24029) - you deserved it (2277)

On 05/29/2012 at 6:40pm - kids - by liquid_sasquatch - United States

Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML

#19586096
362 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46117) - you deserved it (8848)

On 05/07/2012 at 5:42am - intimacy - by quirrus (woman) - United States

Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML

#19572319
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30530) - you deserved it (1914)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:08am - work - by viviham - United States (Texas)

Today, I came home earlier than usual, only to find my wife having sex with some guy on our bed. Her reaction to being confronted was to look me dead in the eyes and to scream and scream until I got so freaked out that I left. It's her house, and I'm sitting in a library with no idea what to do. FML

#19539358
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44425) - you deserved it (3405)

On 04/27/2012 at 9:04pm - intimacy - by yosenfal (man) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)

Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML

#19455929
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14493) - you deserved it (34408)

On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at the movies with my boyfriend, when I had to go pee. Halfway down the aisle, I tripped, screamed, and fell face-first into some guy. My boyfriend is now accusing me of cheating and "flirting" with every man I see. FML

#19436795
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24314) - you deserved it (3498)

On 04/09/2012 at 2:18pm - love - by missclitter - United States

Today, my husband started a food fight. During our wedding reception. FML

#19033421
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28396) - you deserved it (5549)

On 02/09/2012 at 10:17am - love - by Zoey (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my family and I were burning our Christmas tree. For a laugh, my dad jokingly pushed me toward the fire. I tripped, and my doctor says the burns are probably going to scar. FML

#18805376
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39005) - you deserved it (2733)

On 01/14/2012 at 12:32pm - health - by frownyface - United States (Arizona)

Today, my racist grandmother was complaining that the new nurse at her nursing home is a black woman. I casually asked, "Is she cute?" I'm now out of the will. FML

#18641039
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30477) - you deserved it (6882)

On 12/29/2011 at 1:47am - misc - by Snurkles McGree (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, despite being 21 years old and living in my own place, my mom still managed to walk in on me whacking off. FML

#18622040
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36691) - you deserved it (9340)

On 12/27/2011 at 2:11am - intimacy - by ikungfuyou (man) - United States



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: