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Today, my 14-year-old brother told me he needed help with something "very personal." Thinking he wanted girlfriend advice or something, I said, "Sure, no problem". He wanted me to shave his butt crack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18889) - you deserved it (1869)
On 05/29/2012 at 6:40pm - kids - by liquid_sasquatch - United States
Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37311) - you deserved it (6756)
On 05/07/2012 at 5:42am - intimacy - by quirrus (woman) - United States
Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23637) - you deserved it (1288)
On 05/04/2012 at 8:08am - work - by viviham - United States (Texas)
Today, I came home earlier than usual, only to find my wife having sex with some guy on our bed. Her reaction to being confronted was to look me dead in the eyes and to scream and scream until I got so freaked out that I left. It's her house, and I'm sitting in a library with no idea what to do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36520) - you deserved it (2416)
On 04/27/2012 at 9:04pm - intimacy - by yosenfal (man) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)
Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML
I agree, your life sucks (11580) - you deserved it (29598)
On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was at the movies with my boyfriend, when I had to go pee. Halfway down the aisle, I tripped, screamed, and fell face-first into some guy. My boyfriend is now accusing me of cheating and "flirting" with every man I see. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18732) - you deserved it (2509)
On 04/09/2012 at 2:18pm - love - by missclitter - United States
Today, my husband started a food fight. During our wedding reception. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22799) - you deserved it (4185)
On 02/09/2012 at 10:17am - love - by Zoey (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my family and I were burning our Christmas tree. For a laugh, my dad jokingly pushed me toward the fire. I tripped, and my doctor says the burns are probably going to scar. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32553) - you deserved it (2035)
On 01/14/2012 at 12:32pm - health - by frownyface - United States (Arizona)
Today, my racist grandmother was complaining that the new nurse at her nursing home is a black woman. I casually asked, "Is she cute?" I'm now out of the will. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25509) - you deserved it (6207)
On 12/29/2011 at 1:47am - misc - by Snurkles McGree (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, despite being 21 years old and living in my own place, my mom still managed to walk in on me whacking off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29424) - you deserved it (7192)
On 12/27/2011 at 2:11am - intimacy - by ikungfuyou (man) - United States
Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML
I agree, your life sucks (47455) - you deserved it (4251) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, while cuddling up on the couch with my boyfriend, I asked him if this was his happy place too. He said, "Nah, it's in pussies." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22815) - you deserved it (7024)
On 11/05/2011 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by whatadisappointmnet (woman) - United States
Today, at work, my mouse cursor kept randomly moving all over the screen, and messed up an entire day's attempted work. As I was leaving, I overheard one of my co-workers saying he'd plugged a wireless mouse adapter into my computer, and had been trolling me all day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27779) - you deserved it (2870)
On 11/04/2011 at 12:05pm - work - by tech_support (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)
Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34779) - you deserved it (14407)
On 10/23/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by canucks_chick - Canada
Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (13589) - you deserved it (21494)
On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Friday 24 May 2013
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