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Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21985) - you deserved it (2326)
On 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by for fuck sake dad (woman) - Ireland (Limerick)
Today, while walking on a nearly empty street, my friend dared me to slap a tall muscular chick on the butt and run away. I went and did it, but before I even had a chance to turn and run, she grabbed me, bent me over her knee and spanked me until I cried. My friend filmed it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5121) - you deserved it (33450)
On 10/24/2012 at 1:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21048) - you deserved it (2392)
On 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He decided that the best time would be while I was giving him a blowjob. He then seemed confused as to why I didn't finish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23888) - you deserved it (2056)
On 10/13/2012 at 8:04am - intimacy - by notthebesttime -
Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62507) - you deserved it (6324)
On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)
Today, I had to pee so bad that I ran downstairs with no glasses on and stumbled into the bathroom, half blind. I sat down on the toilet and realized just a little late that my older sister and her boyfriend were having sex in the bathtub. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25298) - you deserved it (1985)
On 08/26/2012 at 1:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I was suntanning outside, when I had a bout of nausea. I rushed to the toilet, hoping at all costs to just dry-heave it away. When I lifted the lid, I was faced with two of the most rancid floaters I've ever seen, courtesy of my live-in gran. Well, my stomach's empty now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17365) - you deserved it (1340)
On 08/16/2012 at 8:22pm - health - by rainbows? more like shitstorms (man) - United States
Today, I was pooping at a local Target when I heard someone say "You need to eat more solids, you're pooping like a rabbit." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16512) - you deserved it (3123)
On 08/04/2012 at 7:35am - misc - by llaurenmariee - United States
Today, I wanted to take a romantic bath with my boyfriend. I set up the candles and hot water, but I had to take a dump. After my business was done, I called him into the bath. He walks in, sniffs, glances at the toilet and leaves. Guess what I forgot to flush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5902) - you deserved it (32965)
On 07/31/2012 at 11:53am - love - by TheMissMuffly (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my boyfriend thought it appropriate to let me know that doing the "duck face" in my Facebook pictures "highlights my mustache." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4983) - you deserved it (45368)
On 07/17/2012 at 7:30pm - love - by mustachio101 (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25675) - you deserved it (2936)
On 07/12/2012 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I heard a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I discovered my husband, naked and with his pants around his ankles, standing in the bathtub and pointing at a cockroach on the ground. After disposing of the body, I had to stay and comfort him while he wiped his ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21764) - you deserved it (2205)
On 07/10/2012 at 3:33pm - misc - by I_Has_A_Fishy - United States (Texas)
Today, I was having sex with my wife, when she fell asleep. She then woke up and started moaning, clearly faking an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21381) - you deserved it (5711)
On 06/13/2012 at 10:21pm - intimacy - by biggieT - Sri Lanka (Western)
Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game on my iPhone with his penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22633) - you deserved it (3286)
On 06/13/2012 at 12:07pm - intimacy - by Rosie (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)
Today, after a surprise candlelit dinner and a two bottles of wine for my birthday, my boyfriend and I decided to take a sexy shower together. It ended with us both drunk, naked, and crying, wedged into a small tub together, talking about our dead pets. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23354) - you deserved it (6331)
On 05/30/2012 at 1:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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