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Offline (the 06/10/2015 at 5:56am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3404
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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mrslewis's page activity

Visits<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 2:47pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 2:49pm<b>KhaleesiDannie</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 4:34pm<b>yenze</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 4:47pm<b>vet1</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 11:45pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 3:01am<b>duma191</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 3:18am<b>kindleh09</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 7:21pm<b>boultzboi</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 9:12pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 1:33am<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 12:53pm<b>earlybird69</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 11:03am<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 4:09pm<b>maytylar</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 3:41pm<b>duffmani</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 3:36pm<b>Matheo</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 3:26pm<b>baseball27LD</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 1:56pm<b>strangenesslover</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 10:10am

Fucked!<b>vet1</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 5:46am<b>boultzboi</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 3:12am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 7:33am<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 10:09pm<b>duffmani</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 9:36pm<b>Matheo</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 9:27pm<b>baseball27LD</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 7:56pm

mrslewis's FML badges


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The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

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mrslewis's favorite FMLs

Today, a guy tried to carjack me. Good news: I drive a stick shift, and the idiot apparently couldn't, so I still have my car. Bad news: he was so angry, he beat the shit out of me. I had to get stitches, and now I look like I went on a date with Chris Brown. FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2015 at 2:04pm / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, the weather was so hot that I couldn't stop sweating profusely while using the restroom. Ever slipped off the toilet seat and hit the floor hard due to ass-sweat? Not a pleasant experience. FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2013 at 4:27pm / United States (Nevada) / Health

Today, I decided to go buy myself a dildo to use on my lonely nights. Once at the adult store, I also grabbed a birthday card to make it seem the dildo wasn't for me. At the register, the cashier looked at me and said, "For God's sake, save yourself some money. I already know it's for you." FML

by Anonymous / 06/23/2013 at 6:38am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

by life insurance for 1 / 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate on the bathroom floor. Somehow my nose managed to start bleeding, so he bent me over the tub and kept going because he didn't want to "ruin the moment". FML

by Anonymous / 05/29/2013 at 11:55pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad came to drive me home. On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML

by ugh / 03/11/2013 at 7:33am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, while trucking, I got stuck in traffic on a congested highway. After 15 minutes of mind-numbing boredom, I glanced down at the car beside me, only to witness the driver changing her tampon and flicking the old one onto the highway. I can't unsee this. FML

by thoughtidseenitall / 02/01/2013 at 8:01pm / United States (Colorado) / Transportation

Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML

by dr mamour / 01/30/2013 at 4:57pm / Love

Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

by andy / 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I got married. I'm Jewish, and it's traditional to break a glass cup by stepping on it after giving the bride her ring. My brother thought it would be funny to replace the glass cup with a rubber one. I slipped and fell flat on my back. FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2013 at 3:13pm / Canada (Quebec) / Love

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML

by Drewbie / 01/13/2013 at 3:53am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy

Today, I told my girlfriend that my identical twin and I are not in fact related, that he's adopted, and that the only reason we look exactly the same is because we eat and drink the same things. She actually believed it. FML

by datingablonde / 01/11/2013 at 12:20am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me at my grandma's funeral. FML

by good job bf / 01/10/2013 at 11:06pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, my husband came home with a bunch of realistic-looking wigs for women. When I asked them what they were for, he said he wanted to spice up our sex life with them. When I told him I refused to wear a wig, he said in a very serious tone that I wasn't going to be the one wearing them, he was. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2013 at 5:34am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me with the prettiest, most simple ring I have ever seen. I called my sister to tell her the good news, and her response was, "I know. He had me steal the ring from Claire's." FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2012 at 6:58pm / United States (Colorado) / Love