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mrseppski18

Offline (the 05/01/2014 at 8:56am) | Search for a member

mrseppski18

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 31
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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mrseppski18's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to take a splinter out of my eight year old son's penis. FML

Today, I asked my class of fifth graders to write down a list of all the compound words they knew. At least four of them put down 'motherfucker'. FML

#21218609
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29426) - you deserved it (3270)

On 07/23/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was prepping for an interview after several months of unemployment. I had just finished brushing my teeth when I reached back and grabbed a towel behind me to wipe my face. Turns out it wasn't a towel, it was my newly dry-cleaned suit jacket that my wife had put there for me. FML

#21217564
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28107) - you deserved it (7675)

On 07/22/2014 at 5:55pm - work - by Infadel - United States (California)

Today, I was out with my boyfriend, when he started browsing wedding rings. He found a ring, proposed to me right there in front of a crowd, and then was promptly denied a payment plan. We left without a ring. FML

#21216427
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46043) - you deserved it (4424)

On 07/21/2014 at 3:31pm - love - by badluck - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML

#21132249
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48856) - you deserved it (18009)

On 05/06/2014 at 9:55am - intimacy - by chumman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was in the car with my boyfriend, who was driving down the highway with the windows down. All of a sudden, everything went black. A cattle truck had sped past, and I had been hit by cow faeces travelling at 110km an hour. My boyfriend was hysterical. None of it hit him. FML

#21127873
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48263) - you deserved it (4391)

On 05/01/2014 at 10:17am - animals - by Felicityfrank (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my 808 area code phone number has yet again been mistaken for a 1-800 number. I've been getting phone calls at three in the morning from people on the east coast who are trying to return their shoes. They want to speak to my supervisor because I "don't sound professional enough." FML

Today, everyone found out about the strange but intense fetish I have for women physically lifting me. It all came out when my friend, a female bodybuilder, decided to grab and pick me up for a laugh. I came in my pants, in front of about twenty people. FML

#19983416
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37654) - you deserved it (8095)

On 07/25/2012 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I turned in an overdue English assignment at college. My instructor accused me of plagiarism, writing that my sentence structure was "TO" good. Seriously? FML

#18119295
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31278) - you deserved it (3865)

On 10/31/2011 at 6:09am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, I went out shopping. When I left the store, I saw my ex, who I'm still crazy about. He helped me carry my bags out to the car. When I leaned in to give him a hug goodbye, he stepped aside, and I fell face-first into a puddle. He walked away laughing. FML

#18015819
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31488) - you deserved it (9179)

On 10/18/2011 at 3:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML

#16943359
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32200) - you deserved it (3123)

On 07/02/2011 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my 12 year old son came home from school and informed me that he bought an air guitar for $20. He honestly thinks this is a good price. FML

#16113855
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33507) - you deserved it (11175)

On 05/10/2011 at 1:18am - kids - by Whatdididowrong? -

Today, one of my mum's dinner guests walked in on me and my boyfriend kissing, only to let out a horrified scream. Apparently my mum had introduced my boyfriend as her son, as she is embarrassed of my real brother. FML

#12524990
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36531) - you deserved it (2547)

On 08/14/2010 at 7:23pm - love - by incestastic - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I accidentally stapled my finger to a piece of paper. It hurt, but I took it out and went to restaple it. I did it again. FML

#10540759
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9776) - you deserved it (43650)

On 05/15/2010 at 2:21am - misc - by Staples - United Kingdom



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