About mrs_sean_flanery : addicted to FML!!!! :-D
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was having sex with a guy I met and in the middle of it his mother called him. After stopping to answer the phone, he tried to put me on with her because she didn't believe anyone would actually sleep with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (96154) - you deserved it (11633)
On 03/15/2009 at 4:47pm - intimacy - by MarMar (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was eating lunch naked at my home watching porn on the big screen. I heard the garage door opening meaning my roommate was coming home. In my haste to get dressed, I fell back in the barstool I was sitting in and knocked myself out. I woke up still naked and with lettuce all over me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18953) - you deserved it (62043)
On 03/11/2009 at 8:26pm - intimacy - by HansonLUVR (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45859) - you deserved it (81884)
On 03/11/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by SpiderMan (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend and his parents. It got to an intense sex scene. I felt grateful when I saw his father reaching for the remote to fastforward past the scene. He put it into slowmotion. We watched in silence for about 3 minutes before he managed to fix it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71107) - you deserved it (1431)
On 03/11/2009 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by uncomfortable (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I walked behind a girl I hooked up with last weekend while she was on the computer in the library. I noticed she was looking at my facebook page and got excited. Then I heard her say to her friend, "This is the one smallest penis I have ever seen." FML
I agree, your life sucks (59998) - you deserved it (7036)
On 03/11/2009 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I decided to call my wife while she was having a private lunch with my parents. I began to tell her all the nasty things I was going to do to her in bed. Halfway through my fantasy, she giggled and told me that she was going to take me off speakerphone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26343) - you deserved it (59597)
On 03/11/2009 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by SoggyPancakes (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, during dinner, my new girlfriend's father stroked my leg several times under the table with his bare foot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25284) - you deserved it (1313)
On 12/16/2008 at 11:10pm - misc - by bloom - Sent from mobile version
Today, my electric razor fell flat right after I had finished with my first cheek. And of course I don't have a manual one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14279) - you deserved it (3124)
On 11/22/2008 at 2:02am - misc - by Goatkvlt - Sent from mobile version
Today, I went to rent a DVD with my 85-year-old grandpa. I was walking around and then realized I was alone. I looked for him for quite a while until I finally found him open-mouthed in the porn section. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21190) - you deserved it (1678)
On 11/21/2008 at 7:53am - misc - by Kourou - Sent from mobile version
Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she bought for me. I said joking: "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18239) - you deserved it (11491)
On 11/19/2008 at 6:33am - love - by Mazzam - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was on a date with my new boyfriend. I acted very flirty and laughed very loudly to show him how funny he was. I laughed so loudly that I farted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22334) - you deserved it (15657)
On 11/18/2008 at 7:16am - love - by elsaza - Sent from mobile version
Today, as I do every morning, I woke up and gave my dog, who sleeps next to me, a kiss on the nose. Except that this morning he had been sleeping the other way round. I kissed him on the arse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17050) - you deserved it (15115)
On 11/18/2008 at 1:42am - animals - by AgathedeBlouse - Sent from mobile version
Today, I put on the same jeans that I had left in a bundle in my bedroom the day before. A few hours later, my boxer shorts decided to make their spectacular reappearance trick at the bottom of my leg in the middle of one of my meetings. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13655) - you deserved it (7162)
On 11/17/2008 at 12:04am - work - by Tomtom - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was teasing my cat with a piece of string when suddenly my phone rang. I answered it with one hand and put the string down with the other onto my lap. The beast seized the opportunity to spring, claws out, onto my privates. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16827) - you deserved it (8991)
On 11/14/2008 at 10:27pm - animals - by dooommage - Sent from mobile version
Today, I sent a text message to my girlfriend telling her how much I wanted to make love to her tonight. I've just realized I sent it to her brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30924) - you deserved it (14488)
On 11/14/2008 at 6:20am - intimacy - by Kaji - Sent from mobile version
Friday 24 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
