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About mrs_sean_flanery : addicted to FML!!!! :-D
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I told my girlfriend's father that I wanted to talk about his daughter. I then went on to tell him I was thinking about 'popping the cherry', instead of 'popping the question'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12296) - you deserved it (8105)
On 02/04/2010 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by stoopidpoop (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, while at work at a maternity and baby clothes store, I was supposed to send out an email about our "Beat the Clock" sale. After it was sent to over 500 people, I realized that I'd misspelled the subject line. It read, "Beat the Cock Sale." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8557) - you deserved it (19327)
On 01/14/2010 at 10:55am - work - by Oops (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17889) - you deserved it (8522)
On 01/13/2010 at 11:42am - intimacy - by pleasedtomeetyou (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I was the only cash register open at the local supermarket. I had to sell condoms and chocolate frosting to my ex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16610) - you deserved it (1620)
On 01/12/2010 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by Narehs (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I learned I have a severe sinus infection, my body really can't handle antibiotics, and I can projectile vomit out my nose. Not sure if I am more impressed that I still somehow aimed the puke into the sink, or that swallowing afterwards hurt more than emptying my stomach via my nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18120) - you deserved it (1229)
On 01/12/2010 at 2:18am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I realized that I will never be able to buy the car I've wanted since middle school. The car? A greyish-silver Volvo, which is the make and color of car Kurt Cobain drove. The reason? I've been informed that it's also the make and color of the car that Edward Cullen drives in Twilight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24443) - you deserved it (6959)
On 01/10/2010 at 8:04pm - misc - by coinoperatedgirl (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I woke up with bruised nipples because apparently my boyfriend likes to excessively play with them while I sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11694) - you deserved it (2197)
On 01/04/2010 at 6:30am - intimacy - by sore - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was snuggled in bed with my husband. He thought because my butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky. So he slapped my ass hard in attempt to get something going. I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart because last night I had diarrhea. Apparently I still have it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17296) - you deserved it (2256)
On 01/01/2010 at 3:23pm - intimacy - by Lovergirl (woman) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently copied my key before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering: “He looks like Jesus.” FML
I agree, your life sucks (30994) - you deserved it (2205)
On 12/20/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was at the local theatre watching "The Nutcracker" ballet with my mother. When the prince made his appearance in his tights my mother leans over to me and says, "Those are some well defined butt cheeks!" loud enough for everyone around us to hear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15497) - you deserved it (1952)
On 12/19/2009 at 2:29am - misc - by Tights2Tight - United States (Ohio)
Today, a spider crawled across my glasses' lens. My first reaction was to smack myself in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9037) - you deserved it (16418)
On 12/17/2009 at 2:09pm - animals - by ohmy (woman) - Canada
Today, I was excited when I saw a missed call. It wasn't my ex-boyfriend finally willing to talk, it was the creepy guy I met on the bus in November who I haven't seen since but has written me poetry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13606) - you deserved it (4388)
On 12/15/2009 at 3:10am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my roommate drew a giant red penis and scrotum on our refrigerator, using what he thought was a dry erase marker. It was a permanent marker. I just renewed my lease. I get to look at a red penis every day for the next year and a half. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16355) - you deserved it (3256)
On 12/15/2009 at 2:08am - misc - by Will (man) - United States
Today, I was on AIM talking to a really cute guy, whom I've had a crush on for forever, when he asked me to video chat. I got so excited and immediately pressed accept, without thinking. Not until he started screaming and cursing did I realize that I was still using my laptop on the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6599) - you deserved it (42903)
On 12/14/2009 at 6:26pm - love - by toiletgirl (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was taking the final exam for one of my classes. The teacher came over to my desk, grabbed my test and ripped it in half. Then he grabbed my hand and read the note I had written on it to remind myself to pay rent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30217) - you deserved it (4210)
On 12/14/2009 at 2:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kansas)
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