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mrphychrs's favorite FMLs
by daughter / 09/18/2012 at 12:25am / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/14/2012 at 12:51pm / United States / Animals
Today, I worked overtime with three guys who never shut up about partying and getting laid. When I finally escaped the testosterone and got home, the first thing I heard was my grandpa telling my dad all about how he once fisted a girl to orgasm. FML
by what the FUCK / 08/15/2012 at 6:52pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, my daughter's hamster pulled the water bottle off the glass, so I decided to super-glue the bottle back on. We came back an hour later to see if it had stuck, only to find both the bottle and rodent glued to the glass. FML
by Bad Mommy / 06/21/2012 at 1:40am / United States (California) / Kids
by turnedoff / 06/17/2012 at 9:00pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I had to teach my younger brother to shave with a regular disposable razor because our dad uses an electric one and I'm the only other person in the family with enough facial hair to know how to use a razor. I probably would have been proud if I wasn't a girl. FML
by The Bearded Woman / 05/29/2012 at 12:06am / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids
by Anonymous / 05/20/2012 at 9:10pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
by Asdf649 / 05/19/2012 at 12:17am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by msassy / 05/18/2012 at 10:46pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML
by smart move there / 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm / Ireland (Kildare) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend sat me down for a "confession". His confession consisted of him saying that "women are like a bag of chips," and that while you can love the smokey BBQ flavor, every once in a while you just have to go for some salt and vinegar. FML
by Anonymous / 05/12/2012 at 4:04pm / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Love
Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated. We lost track of time, because the next thing we knew, my dad burst into the living room. He doubled over laughing and asked how much I paid her. FML
by mal / 05/08/2012 at 4:46pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Intimacy
by Kyley / 05/08/2012 at 7:55am / United States / Love
Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML
by quirrus / 05/07/2012 at 5:42am / United States / Intimacy
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, it's been two years since I graduated with my master's. It's also been the same amount of…