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Mobility
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Today, I found out that, for over three years, my boyfriend has solely been dating me to get closer to my mom. Apparently, "she's a total MILF." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18207) - you deserved it (1251)
On 09/18/2012 at 12:25am - love - by daughter (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)
Today, my 12 year-old dog died. My boyfriend's attempts to comfort me involved him muttering, "At least she knows how to play dead now." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17203) - you deserved it (1255)
On 09/14/2012 at 12:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I worked overtime with three guys who never shut up about partying and getting laid. When I finally escaped the testosterone and got home, the first thing I heard was my grandpa telling my dad all about how he once fisted a girl to orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23537) - you deserved it (1752)
On 08/15/2012 at 6:52pm - intimacy - by what the FUCK (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my daughter's hamster pulled the water bottle off the glass, so I decided to super-glue the bottle back on. We came back an hour later to see if it had stuck, only to find both the bottle and rodent glued to the glass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5409) - you deserved it (15555)
On 07/01/2012 at 11:59am - animals - by mommabuser -
Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22411) - you deserved it (6167)
On 06/21/2012 at 1:40am - kids - by Bad Mommy - United States (California)
Today, I kindly asked my boyfriend to shave his pubic hair to make oral sex more enjoyable for me. He declined, saying, "Think of it as flossing your teeth. I'm doing you a much needed favor." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20612) - you deserved it (3452)
On 06/17/2012 at 9:00pm - intimacy - by turnedoff (woman) - United States
Today, I had to teach my younger brother to shave with a regular disposable razor because our dad uses an electric one and I'm the only other person in the family with enough facial hair to know how to use a razor. I probably would have been proud if I wasn't a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21706) - you deserved it (1645)
On 05/29/2012 at 12:06am - kids - by The Bearded Woman (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, someone threw an open soda can at me from a car. It missed, so they circled around and threw an unopened can. That one hit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16594) - you deserved it (1061)
On 05/20/2012 at 9:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, at my wedding, my husband's drunk friend admitted that the only reason my husband and I started dating was because he was dared. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19140) - you deserved it (1506)
On 05/19/2012 at 12:17am - love - by Asdf649 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, the "My body is beautiful" t-shirt that my therapist gave me didn't fit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20810) - you deserved it (5223)
On 05/18/2012 at 10:46pm - health - by msassy - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37002) - you deserved it (3014)
On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)
Today, my boyfriend sat me down for a "confession". His confession consisted of him saying that "women are like a bag of chips," and that while you can love the smokey BBQ flavor, every once in a while you just have to go for some salt and vinegar. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19570) - you deserved it (1400)
On 05/12/2012 at 4:04pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)
Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated. We lost track of time, because the next thing we knew, my dad burst into the living room. He doubled over laughing and asked how much I paid her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19826) - you deserved it (3799)
On 05/08/2012 at 4:46pm - intimacy - by mal (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, I was broken up with via a cereal analogy. Apparently, I'm a Cheerio and all he wants is a Fruit Loop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15483) - you deserved it (1312)
On 05/08/2012 at 7:55am - love - by Kyley - United States
Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37299) - you deserved it (6754)
On 05/07/2012 at 5:42am - intimacy - by quirrus (woman) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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